Coffee & Cigars

I had a battery for a four-year-old Apple MacBook Pro. As some people might know, there’s a known issue with those batteries which makes their innards swell up unexplainably. It doesn’t happen to all of them, but it does happen. And it happened to mine. It’s not the first time, either; I’ve had a few batteries do this and have had to replace them.

On a you’ll-see-why-it’s-related topic, I had a pair of jeans from American Eagle Outfitters which split up the front between the fly and the pocket. If you’re thinking “That’s a strange place for a split”, you’d be right. Up the backside or at the knees, sure… but for some reason these jeans split in this very low-stress area. It’s not the first time this has happened and I’ve had them replaced before.

Last week I went to the Apple store at the Rideau Center in Ottawa and took my battery with me. I was met at the door by a perky college-age girl who asked me what I was after, and I explained that I wanted my battery replaced. She explained that she was sorry, but I would need to make an appointment with a genius bar guy and she’d look into when the next appointment was available. I explained to her - politely - that I did not want to wait for an appointment, as I had nothing to discuss. I simply wanted the battery replaced because clearly it was messed up and I wanted a new one. She asked if I had a receipt and I said I didn’t, praying that she wasn’t going to make this into her excuse for not helping me with an issue that was clearly not my fault. She nodded and summoned over another employee, then asked him to take care of it for me. Three minutes later - literally - I was walking out the door with a new battery. They didn’t check my name in a system to see if I had bought it there, they didn’t try to convince me that it could have been me who messed the battery up. They just replaced it. And I was done.

About twenty minutes later I was in American Eagle Outfitters (this time at the Bayshore mall) and looking to replace my jeans. I explained to the lady behind the counter that the rip was completely unnatural and in a very strange place and that it couldn’t have been me. She agreed immediately that, yes, that’s obviously not something normal wear could have done and then explained that she couldn’t replace them for me. I explained in response that if the tear wasn’t my fault then yes, she should replace them… especially considering that I wasn’t looking for a refund. She offered me a certificate of $20 towards a new pair of jeans and I told her no, I wanted a new pair to replace mine. She told me that was impossible as they don’t make this type anymore and I could buy something that was “on sale” if I liked, though most of the jeans on the shelves were between $40 and $60. As I stressed that I had actually paid $60 for these jeans (or maybe more), she was very adamant that she had no way of knowing how much I paid and would only offer me the minimum. One of her fellow workers behind the counter joined her and parroted the same thing to me, both of them outlining repeatedly why they couldn’t help me and why they couldn’t be sure that I was telling the truth. As they did, voices were starting to get raised from behind the counter (I did not raise mine because mom taught me that it’s the quickest way to make yourself look crazy). Apparently there was cause to suspect I may have been scheming to buy the jeans for a low price, wear them for several months, return when they ripped in a way that I couldn’t control, and receive $20-$40 of product that I hadn’t earned.

Normally I am the kind of guy who asks for a manager to get involved at this point and I’m also the kind of guy who stays in a store and holds my breath till I get what I want, but my schedule on this day didn’t allow for it. The rest of the afternoon I was kicking myself, wishing I had stayed behind and fought… but, alas, I don’t always have time to fight, even when I’m ready to. I ended up with a choice at American Eagle Outfitters: Return the faulty jeans and spend another $20-$40 for new jeans (before tax) or simply accept that I’d permanently lost my investment on the first pair. I was slightly humiliated by having to leave with the $20 coupon instead of a replacement pair of jeans but, in my rushed schedule, I figured that something is better than nothing. I still don’t know if I’ll go back or not.

Obviously, I’m not a high roller. My business will neither make nor break Apple or American Eagle Outfitters. I certainly can’t threaten them with taking my business away because neither of them see a lot of my business in the first place. The truth is, neither of those companies are under any obligation to treat me with respect, courtesy or offer benefit of the doubt. To do so would merely illustrate a good will and customer-centered philosophy.

I don’t really know if there’s a moral to this story except, perhaps, to tell you that I have been telling people how great Apple was about my battery replacement and, additionally, asking people if they know where I can buy some affordable, quality jeans.

Corey tamas: Ok. Listen to this: http://www.steelpantherrocks.com/
Nick: THIS IS NOT FUNNY!!!!!!!
Corey tamas: See, that’s where you and I disagree.