| Feburary 4 | ...And That's Year One This blog is now one year old. The first entry was February 5, 2003. This was the entry: If you're looking for something I haven't written up anywhere else yet, then let me tell you this: A can of Diet Coke froze in my car and exploded. I spent the morning scraping frozen Diet Coke foam off my rear view mirror, the doors, the dash, the ceiling, out of the tape deck, the wheel wells, etc. etc. Keep in mind I had to do this while it was -15 degrees Celsius, and I couldn't turn on the heat or it'd all melt and become a permanent part of my car. From what I could see the explosion was very forceful; if someone had been in the car at the time they would have had to go to the hospital. I'm not even kidding.Was it a good year? Kinda. It seems I'm slipping a bit on the updates, so let me wrap a few up together for you. For Rachael I'm updating because Rachael told me to. It's as simple as that. The Diet Alright. I'll tell you what else I'm up to, but don't expect a lot of yucks, because it's not real funny. Or interesting. Uhhh... maybe I'll just get it over with. I have become aware of a problem called Candida, which is a yeast that goes haywire in your poop chute and makes you feel crummy (not to be confused with Cándido Bidó, from Rey del Carnaval). I'm now on another diet, but this one isn't like the Atkins diet; this one is a) No sugar, b) No caffiene, c) No glutens (like bread or anything yeasty), d) No dairy or milk solids. So after you remove everything that falls into those categories, you are left with: a) Yogurt b) Water c) Hay So yeah, my meals mostly consist of broccoli, yogurt, almonds, cashews, distilled water, herbal tea. If I wanna have a real party, I pour flax seed oil on my food. In doing this however I have started a new regimen of eating. I used to drink a litre of Pepsi a day. Not now. I used to eat so many carbs I can't even list it. Not now. I used to drink so much coffee. Not now. I used to avoid vegtables and vitamins and other things that I needed. Not now. I also eat less because it's more hassle to create a meal. That may sound like a real drag, but the truth is that I'm actually ecstatic because this is a complete 180 from where I've been going and yet for some strange cosmic reason I don't find this diet hard to stick to. Unlike the Atkins diet, I don't feel myself getting leaden and sluggish from the heavy fat/protien content. I find the food easy to eat. No, seriously. It's taken me more than a year, but I think I'm getting the health aspect of my life under control. What's that you say? Diet-related changes aren't enough? You're right. That leads me to my next point. Exercise The trick to getting myself into a regular routine of exercise is that I need to do it with someone I know and like. I believe this is why I didn't stick with Aikido longer. Now, I have started playing squash regularly with Rob Riendeau. Rob is a good person to play squash with for me because he perfectly fits with my two basic rules about doing stuff like squash: 1) Play with someone who sucks at it as much as you do 2) Play with someone who will laugh instead of getting pissed off As it happens, we're actually not terrible at the game, as I thought we would be. We sometimes get the little black bastard of a rubber ball all the way back from the wall so that someone can hit it again. Not often. But it happens. There's only one part about playing squash that doesn't work for me; there's a poster on the wall just outside the court where we play. It's a big warning for squash players about wearing eye protection, or else you end up with something like this happening. It's seriously one of the most horrifying things I've ever seen. What's more, it's a warning that's totally wasted on Rob and I, as we can barely get the ball to the end of the court, much less work up enough force to bring it back hard enough to bust someone in the eye and make them look like Raging Bull. As if that's not funny enough, the girl at the desk (who probably even owns her own squash racket) asked us if we wanted to join the House League. Rob and I laughed so much that we had to wipe tears. She actually wasn't laughing. I still wonder about that. |
| January 23 | Canadians Are So Incredibly Polite It's been snowing a fair amount here lately, then freezing, then melting a bit, the snowing again, etc. etc. You get a variety of walking surfaces from the powery, feathery dust of light flakes up to your armpits to the icy skating-rink-of-hip-breakgage of packed snow covered in a veneer of ice. Believe it or not, this relates to my story and the title thereof. I was in a town called Kanata a couple days ago to do a bit of business. I won't waste all my writing energy describing to you how the road system works in that area, but I will tell you that I will approach this place of business from the adjacent parking lot rather than the proper one because of how tough it can be to negotiate the roads appropriately. Just trust me on this. Anyhow, I've parked the car and am about to step out of one parking lot and into another. Between them is a hill of maybe 6'. Maybe a tad less. It looks innocent enough and my shoes certainly have nice deep treads, but it turns out that this hill is a deathtrap waiting to happen. Thanks to me, it wasn't waiting long. So I step from my car with aplomb, checking my watch and and furrowing my brow like I'm Remington Steele, and starting for the hill with the demeanor that communicates how I expect no trouble getting up. I'll make this brief: I take about two steps, freeze for a moment in terror as I attempt to regain my balance, take a third step and fall on my hands. Seeing as I'm not particularly good at holding myself upright on my fingertips while my toes are skating on slick ice, I fall directly on my face and get snow up my nose. Attempting a quick recovery, I roll on my side (distributing the snow evenly) and push myself up on one arm, getting my legs back under me. I'm making an attempt to bareface my way through this by adopting that look of offense and disgust that international men of mystery do when they've been troubled in their busy day by something ridiculous. Unfortunately, my iron-like facial expression didn't save me from the unfortunate loss of balance which actually caused me (no joke) to spin like a top and land on my back, facing upwards at the blue sky as my ass was slowly soaked by icewater. This time when I roll around I've pretty much given up on saving face (any attempt I could have made to look as if I thought I was still in control would have made me look stupider than I already did). I look around and, yeah... lots of people milling around who are watching me out of the corners of their eye. No one says "Are you alright?", but don't interpret that as callousness; Canadians are the type who wouldn't embarrass you by letting on that they noticed you just made a complete fool of yourself. They just act as if they didn't notice or they're too wrapped up in deep thought to think of you as silly-looking. As I'm watching the pedestrials parade by, each seemingly oblivious to me lying on the side of this hill below and above them, covered in snow, soaked to the skin with little birdies chirping in a halo around my head just like they do in the Flintstones, I realize that I have still got to get up this hill somehow. I huff. I close my eyes in denial. I then roll a bit more, shifting my weight onto one hand as I attempt to come around for attempt #3. I'm up on all fours, feet somewhat flat on the ground and I am looking up, rather like a large dog in position to leap forward, all dressed in twill and chambray. I tenuously rise up onto my feet with my arms waving about to keep my balance. I almost called to someone to throw me a parasol and a unicycle so I could complete the tightrope-walking look. Once I get my footing and balance, I stand motionless with my arms at a strange angle (not unlike how one will fool with the rabbit ears on the TV until they get the signal right and then they just... don't... touch it... again...). If I stayed there too long I'm sure pigeons would have started to land, so I decided to make my move. I realize that it's obvious to you by now that I fell again, but what you might not appreciate is how quickly I fell; I lost my balance just by thinking about moving. The really bad part was how my legs started doing the light-speed treadmill run, sort of like George Jetson. Just one step after another at hyper speed without actually moving anywhere. This time the fall was to the side as I attempted to crouch down and extend a hand, and it knocked the wind right out of me. I looked up as I laid there, thoroughly humiliated, and saw them: Canadians walking past me as if nothing had happened. Some glanced down briefly, some didn't. The last straw was when one older man with a dog gave me a nod and said "Lovely day, isn't it?" I got in my car and made the two difficult left turns necessary to change parking lots. |
| January 23 | More Friday Five Still unmotivated to write much else, but hereyago. At this moment, what is your favorite... 1. ...song? Argh. I got caught at a vulnerable moment. I wish this question could have come at some other time when I would have cited some ferocious hard rock song by Tool or some obscure arthouse song by Phillip Glass, but right now I am totally tripping on Slow by Kylie Minogue. The video is cool and very sexy (in that homoerotic kinda way), but the trance-like groove and the fast vocal syncopation contrasted by the take-your-time phrasing really works for me. Kylie and I also share the same birthday, except she's one year older than I am. Just FYI: I still love Tool, though. And not in the homoerotic kinda way. 2. ...food? There's so much I love. Chinese dumplings. Jamaican jerk sauce. Thai noodles. Right now the winner is peanut M&Ms. 3. ...tv show? Don't watch it. Can't claim I have a favorite. I still like MadTV, The Simpsons and I've caught a few episodes of CSI. How's that? 4. ...scent? I'm addicted to the smell of the Games Workshop brown ink. Hey, it's an honest answer. Did you think I was going to say "lilacs" or something? 5. ...quote? "I don't believe in Beatles. I just believe in me." More relevant with every passing day. |
| January 21 | Welcome Rachel Crowder I just found out tonight that Rachel Crowder is a regular reader of coreytamas.com. So this is a shout-out to her. Go on with your bad self, Rachel. You give me that funny feeling I used to get while climbing the rope in gym class! |
| January 16 | The Friday Five Been a while since I've posted anything, huh? I'll start with this, seeing as I'm pretty much as out of ideas now as I have been for the last 11 days. 1. What does it say in the signature line of your emails? I don't have one, but I've seen several excellent ones. Things like "Attention deficit disorder is a complicated issue, spanning several major... HEY LET'S GO RIDE BIKES", "Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right, But Three Lefts Do." and "Laws are like sausages: You have much more respect for them if you haven't actually seen how they're made." (thanks, ved) 2. Did you have a senior quote in your high school yearbook? What was it? If you haven't graduated yet, what would you like your quote to be? I never graduated from high school so I never had one. My quote probably would have been something like "Bye", because I had a habit of leaving class half way through and disappearing for the day and, in time, disappearing completely. 3. If you had vanity plates on your car, what would they read? If you already have them, what do they say? If I had to get a vanity license plate, I'd do this:  4. Have you received any gifts with messages engraved upon them? What did the inscription say? The last gift (and I think the only gift) I've ever received with an inscription was at the wedding party dinner for my best friend, Aaron. It was a silver pen with my initials on it. I cherish that thing and will for years to come. 5. What would you like your epitaph to be? He never meant any harm. Honest. |
| January 5 | MacWorld: Denied MacWorld Expo, the giganticus event where Apple announces new stuff, industry people get together and, if I'm there, the stature of my website grows among the industry while I simultaneously generate content for the website's readers. This will be the second MacWorld in a row that I've missed. In other words, if I go to the next MacWorld event it will have been three years since I'd been to one. It bothers me a lot that I'm not going, mainly because it's nothing more than bad planning on my employer's part that I haven't gone (and, in the process, he has reneged on a committment he made last year to send me). I love seeing the people while I'm there (Peter Cohen says "Just continuing with the yin and yang theme, I *am* disappointed that Corey isn't coming out, due to circumstances totally beyond his control. I had been looking forward to seeing him, as we get together all too rarely, so that's a disappointment. Lots of other people are making the trip, however, so I'm happy I'll get to spend time with people I like." and Brad Oliver also said "Sadly, Corey's not going to be there, and that's a real shame because he's a lot of fun to be around. There isn't anyone who can kiss Cohen or show his asscrack like he can. I feel like a little piece of my soul has died" – I'm going to miss them both terribly, though I suggest you not ask too many questions about Brad's comments... for both our sakes), but more than anything else I feel that not being at MacWorld devalues MacGamer and ties my hands a little tighter when it comes to making it worth advertising on. You cannot beat face time with the people you have to deal with. That's one thing I've learned well since starting this line of work. There is a blessing to this (though I don't intend to share this with The Employer, lest I have to hear him say "See? I did you a favor"); my oldest daughter is quite sick right now and has been for more than two weeks (since the first day of Xmas break... does that suck for a kid or what?). She's had fever, vomiting, huge weight loss, strep throat and some other things that aren't identifiable – like double vision – which suggest some neurological problem. Am I worried? Yeah. I am. She's going to get a cat scan and if I had gone to San Francisco I would have been away for that. I'll keep you updated as things progress. |
| January 5 | Hello Tova Nice to meet you. I'm your new uncle. I Just got email about your arrival (12:04 AM, Jan 5... only about nine hours ago). Back when your dad and I were growing up together, I never even pictured that my little brother would grow up to be a dad. Now, as a grown-up, I'm pretty sure he's going to be a very good one, just as your mom is going to be a good mom. You're pretty lucky, Tova, because your dad and mom are nuts. You'll have a fun childhood, mark my words. |
| January 4 | Ring, Ring So last night I was at a LAN party (that's when a bunch of nerds congregate to play computer games together in the same room on a network). It started at noon on Saturday. I left this morning at 7 AM. When I returned again at 11:30 to drive some of the participants home, things were still going and Shawn, who was the host, had just gone to bed. Thing is, Shawn and I have to be at the same rehearsal today. The rehearsal starts at 12:45 today and Shawn only went to bed at 11:00. So before I left I sat down at his computer and set it to -at 12:25- blare some music (Avril Lavigne's "Knockin' On Heaven's Door") so loud all the windows are going to blow out. When it does this, there will be a little note saying "You have to be at rehearsal in 20 minutes - Corey" I wonder if this will test our friendship. |
| January 4 | What the... ? Why is the "Corey Tamas" title a broken image for some reason? Weird. I'll have to fix that sometime. addendum: Fixed it. I am a genius. |
| January 2 | Friday Five You know how this works. What one thing are you most looking forward to . . . 1. ...today? I am eating Stilson cheese and wheat/sesame crackers and right here and now I am looking extremely forward to the next one. Like, more than I can articulate. 2. ...over the next week? I have no fewer than three major writing committments that need to be dealt with, and I am looking forward to a) a job well done, b) the refreshing feeling of having no assignments on your plate. I also plan to buy more Stilson cheese, as I intend to be out of it shortly. 3. ...this year? I would like to complete some of the objectives I had for 2003 in 2004. I actually feel no guilt or self-doubt about it because I think the stuff I'm trying to do takes time. For instance, getting healthy and getting rich take time. Check in with me this summer. I'll give you an update. 4. ...over the next five years? When I look that far down the road I think "parenting", "music" and "a really, really good pair of sunglasses". Within the next five years I will have liked to have accomplished all three. 5. ...for the rest of your life? The sunglasses thing might actually become a life-long thing. |
2003 |
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| December 31 | Scaring the crap out of me There is always one thing that never fails to scare the living crap right out of me, and it's this: When I'm coming out of some shopping or mall-type area and I am finding my way through the parking lot, I then prepare to make the inevitable alley-slide where I turn sideways and move between the driver's side of my car and the passenger's side of the car parked next to me. Of course there is never quite enough room for a luxurious full-on walk with shoulders square; it's always about making sure I don't rub my butt on my car or the other car, lest I get all shmutzy. Well, it doesn't happen every time, but once in a while the car next to me will have some giant, slobbering, vicious savage of a dog that interprets me turning my ass to him as a sign of aggression and will start barking so hard he herniates himself, and every snarl is punctuated by the "tink tink" sound of his fangs clicking against the glass as he throws himself into tearing my flesh to shreds. That's the part where my bowels turn instantly into water and my entire central nervous system tries to leap clean out of my skin. I can actually feel the hair on my head standing straight up and, within that microsecond that my "flight or fight" instinct registers that the dog is barking, my body is flushed with so much adrenaline that it nearly sprays out my ears. The sensation is then followed up by me throwing a gaze over my shoulder and looking at the face of the insane animal that wants to pull my throat out. As its nose paints the entire window with slobber and snot while the snout curls and the teeth flash, I get a second wave of horror that comes with the realization that, if he could, that Jack Russel Terrier would eat my eyeballs and bury me alive in the back yard. |
| December 31 | The Last Good Day of the Year I'll start this end-of-the-year post by saying Thank You Sarah Brown. Until I saw how her end-of-the-year post was done, I didn't think it was possible to do a end-of-the-year post that didn't stink. I'm no Sarah Brown, but here it goes. Best movies I saw this year: The Return of the King. No two ways about it. Despite really decent movies like X-Men 2, Pirates of the Carribbean, 28 Days Later, Finding Nemo, Kill Bill, it was not a good year for movies. There was a long gap over the summer where it was like the Sahara of movie entertainment. From the Matrix Regurgitated to Bruce Almighty to Legally Blonde 2, Gigli to Scary Movie 3, it was like sitting down for a full roast beef dinner and being served styrofoam with A1 sauce on it. In fact, when Underworld came out, I loved this otherwise so-so movie only because from the sewer, the gutter looks pretty darn good. It didn't insult my intelligence and it had something of a plot, so it was like getting a bottle of Evian in the middle of Arizona during a heat wave. Return of the King had it all; it took the brilliant, but slightly cold writing of J.R.R. Tolkien, turned it into a bone-breakingly violent festival of Orc head-cracking and yet made the audience walk away feeling moved and inspired. The three hours and fifteen minutes flew by. I hate being another speck in the teeming masses of RotK-worshippers, but I have to admit it: Peter Jackson turned his best effort in with this one. Hard to believe it's the best of the three... until you've seen it. Best movie that I bet would be on that list had I actually seen it: Big Fish. Worst movie I saw this year: Legally Blonde 2. It actually makes my stomach turn just thinking about this flick. I kinda liked the first one, too... so it hurts even more. Worst movie I saw this year that I don’t think I actually saw: Love, Actually Best book I read this year: Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card (coincidentally the only book as well). Best CD produced this year that I actually bought this year: I have to confess that I don't think I bought anything that was produced this year, but after some of what I've been hearing I'm starting to think that I should give the White Stripes' Elephant a listen. Best show I attended this year: Tie: David Bowie, Montreal. It's the third time I've seen him and by far the best. Best month this year: July Worst/hardest month this year: October, probably. A little suckage fell into every month Most impetuous decision made this year: Warhammer. That's all I can say about it, and I think it stands as an example of one of the biggest impulse buys I've ever indulged in. Best outcome of most the impetuous desicion made this year: I learned what happens when you get Krazy Glue in your eyeball so if it ever happens to someone I love I know what to tell them (I tell them "Dude, you're screwed"). |
| December 31 | I don't believe in Beatles. I just believe in me. John Lennon, that.Title describes how I think things are going to go for a while. |
| December 28 | Friday Five, Only On Sunday Suellen reminded me that I'd not done the Friday Five yet. I'm going to give it a try and see how far I can get. Let's hope the questions aren't stupid. 1. What was your biggest accomplishment this year? I got my teeth cleaned. 2. What was your biggest disappointment? I managed to take zero weight off. 3. What do you hope the new year brings? More clarity in my work situation would be nice. 4. Will you be making any New Year's resolutions? If yes, what will they be? I don't usually make resolutions, but I think I'd probably promise myself to keep working on my health until I get to a point where I can honestly say I'm healthy. 5. What are your plans for New Year's Eve? Not sure yet. There's a big gap between what I'd like to do and what I'll probably end up doing. Ain't it the way? |
| December 28 | Ugh Today I'm having one of those days. Not sure why it is that I run to by blog when I do; maybe it's just that drama makes for solid, clear blog entry material. I don't know. Today I'm becoming profoundly aware of the degree to which people say things they don't mean. |
| December 22 | The Best Thing That's Ever Happened To Me In My Whole Entire Life You may recall from September 28th's entry that the girls at the nearby Starbuck's love me. Today, when I got a decaf skim milk venti latte, I got one of those thermal sleeves (so you don't burn your fingers on the cup), and on it was written a note for me, from the barristette (whose name is Moraed). Instead of merely "L" for "Latte" and "D" for "Decaf", it also said "You're Awesome!!!!" That, ladies and gentleman, is the best thing that's ever happened to me in my whole entire life. |
| December 21 | Hubba Hubba As you already know, I've got to kiss Colleen in this play. What I didn't mention was that I also get in a relatively intimate cuddle with Leah, including one very long, tight hug. Now, today, I found out that in Act 2 I may actually have to make out with Rachel. Yes. Making out. As you can no doubt guess, I will have no trouble making blog entries for a while. |
| December 21 | Blogs I have a list of about 25 blogs I keep on regular rotation. It's not as much work as you think it might be; every day when I check them out there are maybe only two or three that have updated, and the ones that have will rarely take more than 30 seconds to scan. It's probably because it's so easy to go through so many blogs at once that I don't mind keeping a list of so many in my links. As I have been reading these many blogs (some by people I know well, some by people I know a bit, some by people I've never met) over the last six months to a year, I've come to a somewhat sobering conclusion: There are an awful lot of unhappy people out there. The approach of Christmas, to most, seems like more of a burden than a joy... difficult, unpleasant relationships are everywhere... no one ever has enough money and the unrelenting obsession with that fact seems to eat away at peoples' happiness like a cancer. This morning my youngest daughter eats a boiled egg and toast, her huge headfull of nappy, curly hair sticks out in every direction, her little bare feet swinging almost a full foot off the ground while she sings (loudly) some song she's made up in her not-quite-in-key voice, the lyrics to which are "a happy dayyyy oh what a happy dayyyyy". I sure find the Christmas season tiresome in many ways. I have a number of awkward, stressful relationships to deal with. I never have enough money. That being said, man oh man... my life is awesome. |
| December 19 | Errata After seeing other peoples' replies to the Friday Five, I've realized that I left out many answers that would have been infinitely superior to the lame ones I actually wrote. Here are some additions: Favorite beverages: How could I forget fresh brewed ice tea?? Or a steaming hot cup of Indian Chai?? Favorite Websites I forgot Homestarrunner.com. I can't believe it. Favorite Board Games: Not sure it qualifies, but Rock'em Sock'em Robots is one hell of a good time. Favorite computer games: They stand right where they are, baby. :) |
| December 19 | Can you believe it? Here's something that doesn't happen all the time: My day started out as pure suckage, but has since transformed into a rather pleasant day with lots accomplished and a good, jaunty attitude. What's more, I'm off to see Return of the King in two hours. How d'ya like that?! |
| December 19 | The Friday Five Gonna give it another try this week. Let's see... 1. List your five favorite beverages. - Good french press coffee (not just any coffee, mind you) - The coconut juice that's served at my favorite Vietnamese restaurant in Ottawa, the name of which I can never remember, but I do know they have a nice green sign outside. - Good loose leaf tea (not just any tea) - Vietnamese coffee - Pepsi 2. List your five favorite websites. - Fark - Que Sera Sera - The Onion - Penny Arcade - A certain web forum that shall not be named, lest it be invaded by asshats (not that I'm saying you're an asshat) 3. List your five favorite snack foods. - Peanut M&Ms - Ms. Vickie's Sweet Chili and Sour Cream potato chips - Carrot sticks - Samosas (they're a snack or a meal, really. Just hand them over and nobody gets hurt) - Ya pears 4. List your five favorite board and/or card games. Does Warhammer count? I dunno. I liked Risk back when I used to play it. I don't even know if I know five board or card games. I have to pass on this. 5. List your five favorite computer and/or game system games. - Warcraft III: Reign of Chaos (and it's expansion pack, The Frozen Throne) - Sacrifice (when it isn't crashing or slowing my computer to a crawl or rendering weird video artifacts) - Deus Ex (not Invisible War) - Future Cop (dunno if that URL works anymore) - System Shock 2 |
| December 15 | I Think I Must Be Adpoted My mom has destroyed the family honor by writing this: THE TWELVE CATS OF CHRISTMAS!!! On the first day of Christmas when I brought home my tree, my 12 cats were laughing at me On the second day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree 2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me On the third day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree 3 missing Wise Men 2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me On the fourth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree 4 males a-spraying 3 missing Wise Men 2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me On the fifth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree 5 shredded gifts 4 males a-spraying 3 missing Wise Men 2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me On the sixth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree 6 fallen angels 5 shredded gifts 4 males a-spraying 3 missing Wise Men 2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me On the seventh day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree 7 half-dead rodents 6 fallen angels 5 shredded gifts 4 males a-spraying 3 missing Wise Men 2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me On the eighth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree 8 shattered ornaments 7 half-dead rodents 6 fallen angels 5 shredded gifts 4 males a-spraying 3 missing Wise Men 2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me On the ninth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree 9 chewed-through light strings 8 shattered ornaments 7 half-dead rodents 6 fallen angels 5 shredded gifts 4 males a-spraying 3 missing Wise Men 2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me On the tenth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree 10 tinsel hair balls 9 chewed-through light strings 8 shattered ornaments 7 half-dead rodents 6 fallen angels 5 shredded gifts 4 males a-spraying 3 missing Wise Men 2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me On the eleventh day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree 11 broken branches 10 tinsel hairballs 9 chewed-through light strings 8 shattered ornaments 7 half-dead rodents 6 fallen angels 5 shredded gifts 4 males a-spraying 3 missing Wise Men 2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me On the twelfth day of Christmas I looked at my poor tree 12 cats a-climbing 11 broken branches 10 tinsel hairballs 9 chewed-through light strings 8 shattered ornaments 7 half-dead rodents 6 fallen angels 5 shredded gifts 4 males a-spraying 3 missing Wise Men 2 mangled garlands ...and my 12 cats laughing at me |
| December 14 | Victory Those of you who have all been hanging on the edge of your seats can breathe a sigh of relief: I finally kissed Colleen. Man, did I ever. I probably squeezed off six or seven high-octane ones before the rehearsal was out. What I finally realized after much of her blushing, hands turning ice cold and inability to look me in the face for quite a while is that I don't think I was the only one who found it a bit... awkward. She was a decent kisser for a lady who was hoping to curl up and die quickly rather than kiss me, and she smelled a tiny bit like apple juice. Man, am I a stud. BTW Colleen's husband kissed me first before she did to show her that it was no big deal. I gotta admit, he's a cool guy, and his beard is tickly. I'm actually still scared like heck to kiss her, but that probably isn't going to wear off anytime soon. (addendum: Ruth was reading over my shoulder at the above sentence and only managed to get the words "...kiss her, but..." and she was like "Kiss her butt?? WHAT?") |
| December 12 | The Friday Five You get 'em from here, folks. My answers are below: 1. Do you enjoy the cold weather and snow for the holidays? This question is like a cruel joke by a heartless bully. Let's go on to #2. 2. What is your ideal holiday celebration? How, where, with whom would you celebrate to make things perfect? 3. Do you do have any holiday traditions? 4. Do you do anything to help the needy? 5. What one gift would you like for yourself? Actually, never mind. These questions suck. |
| December 11 | Autocannibalism For some reason I can't really understand, I have begun to eat my own face off. It must be subconscious or something. I can't think of why I'd want to do that. It's not tasty and, at times, my face has served me well. I, therefore, am at a loss for motive... but I assure you that it is happening. Whether or not I understand the reasons why, it is clear that I am very committed to the act. Why, just today as I was chewing some gum and walking towards the post office to check my mail, I bit the end of my tongue, full-strength with my incisors. The pain stunned me and I actually missed a step. It was about half an inch in from the tip and I thought I could hear a slight "crunch" as the bruised muscle began to sing to my brain. I shook it off after a moment or two, but couldn't help notice that was an unusual way to bite one's tongue and that I'm lucky I didn't do worse. Not more than a beat later, I buried my left, lower canine tooth up to the hilt in my cheek. That was a strata of pain rather beyond the tongue-biting. You know how cartoon characters who get hurt really bad are surrounded by a halo of stars? I actually saw stars as I screwed my eyeballs shut and made a sound that was probably not unlike the sound of a basset hound getting hit in the skull with a nine iron. Wow did that hurt. |
| December 11 | Letter From Jonny (Sent in response to an email I sent him asking if we should get together soon) I suppose it should be soon - you probably miss me terribly. Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays I go to the gym. Those days are out unless you're prepared to make it worth my while. I would enjoy seeing a movie. Matrix 3-Times and that movie about the thing with the thing are on my list. You know, the one by that guy that did the movie with the skinny puppet girl with stitches. Tom? Tim? Maybe the movie I'm talking about is called Fish. Also LOTR (lot-rah) 3-Times, but not 'till next week or so. It wouldn't have to be a movie though. Maybe we can go for Starbucks and flirt with those girls. Okay fine. It's me who misses you but if you repeat that I'm telling everybody you touched me there. Jonny |
| December 10 | Still Haven't Done It I still haven't kissed that hottie Colleen. There hasn't exactly been opportunity, because our rehearsals have not been concerned with scenes where I should have been. That being said, the one coming up this w'end will be smooch city and I'm not ready. Like I said, it's not just because she's a pretty thing (there are lots of pretty things in the play... that makes no difference). It's something else, and I'd better figure out what it is before this Sunday. It was also explained to me that the kiss isn't actually supposed to be me trying to be suave and her trying to get away from me, as I had originally thought (and yeah, that is kind of weird for a Wedding Day kiss scenario, so I'm not surprised I'm wrong). The fact is that she gets squirmy because the kiss goes on for too long and she eventually has to push me off of her because she's embarrassed. in front of the crowd at the wedding that I'm all over her in this way So now not only do I have to face kissing Colleen... I have to face the fact that I've got to kiss her for a long time and with some real intensity. I'm going to try closing my eyes and pretending she's one of the girls from The Price Is Right and hope my lust overcomes me. At least I had my teeth cleaned lately so she has a little less to be afraid of. |
| December 9 | Everything's Coming Up Roses Ever have a day when things go well? I'm having one right now. From the moment I got up this morning and went avec familia to the local baker's to have breakfast all the way through my work hours right up to this very moment, I'm happy with how it's all gone. Not only have things worked the way I like, but I also have managed to remember and conquer a lot... so it's not just a matter of good luck but also personal success. Yes, sir. It's a good day. If you have something to say that might wreck it, keep it to yourself. |
| December 5 | The Joke Writes Itself, Folks Link |
| December 5 | Dear Diary Just another fine day in which I've found a couple minutes to jot a note or two down in my online journal here. First update: Yesterday I had one humungo Warhammer festival with James and Shawn that started at 10 AM and went until 3:00 AM. It was fun for the most part and, of course, using my Warhammer miniatures in the purpose for which they were intended was kind of nice. The games were huge (and yeah, I'll get some photos shortly), but there were plenty of heated arguments between Shawn and James that I didn't enjoy very much; given that we're playing a game with little spaceships and monster dolls I don't think there was much call for anyone to be getting so huffy. So, yeah; that kinda took the wind out of my sails. This morning I got my teeth cleaned. You might remember how I went to a dentist in April and that guy said I had no cavities which, after 8 years of NOT going to the dentist is nothing short of a miracle. He did tell me that I would have to get my teeth cleaned below the gumline, however, and it would take four appointments at $180 apiece. It's clear he had my best interests in mind from the outset. This new place did almost all of it for $100 and I need to return for one quick visit to finish up in about two weeks. Ok, so you very much DON'T care about my teeth or how much it costs to clean them, so let me get on to the part that you thrill-seekers love: There was huge pain as my gums were peeled back from my teeth and a vibrating ultrasonic instrument (no, seriously) dug away at the tartar as it sprayed water at high velocity to clear out all the blood which was sucked up by a vaccuum device that hung onto my jaw and instantly stole all moisture from my mouth so that my lips were arid and completely devoid of all the softness they once knew. It was worth it. The teeth look and feel better already. |
| December 2 | Office Coffee You know what I'm talking about. The type that is constantly brewing in your office. There's a pot full of it not far from you at this very moment. I was discussing it with Kris and she reported to me how a cup of black coffee, claimed from a pot brewing right there in her office, was received as she drank up. "It has a woody start, much like chewing on a no. 2 pencil, with a hint of rubber. The feel on my tounge is relatively smooth and the flavors of nutmeg and peanuts bloom on my tastebuds. It has a lingering creamy finish with a tinny aftertaste." That's about the most perfect description of office coffee I've ever read. Life is too short for "so-so" coffee, folks. |
| December 1 | One Of Those Days Bad on almost every front, today. Every discussion I had was difficult, every work-related situation was complicated and burdensome, and every personal discussion I had was worse. My weeble got knocked down. It'll be up again tomorrow, I'm sure. |
| December 1 | Had Another Play Practice Yesterday No, I didn't kiss her yet. Stop asking. |
| November 28 | Smooching Advice People have been coming out of the woodwork to give me advice on how to plant a good one on old Colleen. She'd be terrified if she saw everything I've been told in the last 24 hours. I pray to God she never does or I'll get pepper sprayed next time I go near her (I'm somewhat nervous as it is. The pepper spray won't help). For one thing, there's this: "...remember: You are a seriously hunky, smart, confident man so grab that biatch and kiss the bejesus out of her! I know you can do it. I have faith!" This isn't a bad suggestion, but I wouldn't want to foot the medical bills to get Colleen's bejesus replaced. My favorite advice so far, though, is this: "I think watching Star Trek reruns would help with the kiss-scene. Just watch how William Shatner pressed the lips of the supporting actresses so fiercely that, if the girls had braces, the inside of their lips would be stuck to their teeth for good. That's a 'put-off' kiss, IMO." I'm not saying that me being nervous is helping the situation any, but I think Colleen probably prefers the way I am now to the way I would be if I adopted either of these approaches. By the way, Rob Riendeau (yes, I'm talking to you)... don't even THINK of breathing a word about this around at rehearsals or you are so dead, Mr. Smarty Bass Player. |
| November 27 | Smooching I'm now starring in a play here in the small town of Almonte (which seems to have more than its share of theatre projects, which is a good thing). I'll tell you all about the play some other time, but for now let me address the salient point: I have to kiss a girl. On the lips. In the play. I've always considered myself something of a lothario and am quick with the wink and the gun when the ladies walk past. In fact, I'm known for my self-confidence to the point of being considered arrogant, and I'm ok with that. You would think, therefore, that laying the big smooch-ola on someone I barely know should be a non-issue for me. The truth of the matter, however, is that it really is and I don't know why. The lady in question is Colleen Taylor; a 30-something (maybe late 20-something) young mom with a fair amount of drama experience and a real nice family. I haven't had much to do with her in the years I've lived here, but she's most definitely on my good list (for the time being: Everyone on my good list is on permanent probation). Her husband and I are definitely pals and have gone out for wings and brewskis (well... Pepsi in my case) and there's no bad feeling there. Colleen plays "Marcie" in this play, and I play "Gene"... and it's our wedding day. The kiss is intended to be one where I make like I'm sweeping her off her feet but she is, in fact, quite firmly on her feet and not likely to become otherwise. In short: She finds my kiss off-putting. For some reason I cannot explain, kissing Colleen paralyzes me with terror. I can't bring myself to do it. In rehearsals I manage to get within about three inches of her face and then I snap. Sure, Colleen is a pretty, thin thing... but that would never rattle my confidence (as I'm something of a looker myself). Don't go getting any squirrelly ideas that I have some sort of crush on her. Also, it's not because I think her husband is going to kick my ass. He could kick my ass, but he's not the type that would kick my ass. I'm rather sure of this. No... it's gotta be something else, and I have no idea what. Maybe if I brush my teeth fifteen or sixteen more times the answer will come to me. I'll keep you posted. |
| November 21 | Friday Five and stuff The main reason I'm doing The Friday Five this week is so that I can tell you about Ira Glick. 1. List five things you'd like to accomplish by the end of the year. - I'd like to clean my office properly (this is an ongoing struggle for me). - I'd like to see the game I'm working on finished (as far as proof of concept goes). - I'd like to get a really straight-up exercise program going, even if it's a very simple one. - I'd like to get my entire Warhammer army painted to completion. - I think I need a new pair of shoes. I should pick those up as well. 2. List five people you've lost contact with that you'd like to hear from again. - Ira Glick. Ira was this nervous Jewish homosexual kleptomaniac who wanted to be Ella Fitzgerald. He was also addicted to heroin and his parents were filthy rich. I met him in Toronto in 1986 or 87 when I was first starting to get my groove on as a Guy Who No Longer Lives With His Parents™. He was dancing naked except for his bowling shoes on a table at the Rainbow Café (a little place run by followers of the Hare Krishna movement) after the place had closed. He had a little tape recorder pressed to his ear and was singing along with "Take The A Train". When he was dressed (which was, thankfully, most of the time) he would wear this demin jacket he made from a pair of jeans, as in trousers. He'd put an arm through each of the two legs and had somehow stitched it so that it fit like a very small bolero jacket that scarcely came down to his armpits. Ira was a good guy in his own strange way and, despite his constantly running mouth, we hung out in the same crowds for a while. I wouldn't mind seeing himagain just so I could see what became of that guy. - Harris Beder, my old room mate from the days in Toronto when things were a lot simpler and there was a whole lot more adventure in my life (read: Ira). Harris was a true friend and I loved how he only ever wanted to do the right thing. I don't think he had a selfish bone in his entire body. Harris was actually the guy who introduced me to Ira. - Danny Stee. Moved to Korea to teach after getting married to a Korean woman. One of the most earnest people I've ever met. He looked a lot like that kid from Bloom County with the really tall hair. - A girl I used to date off and on wayyyyy back in the day who shall remain nameless (lest Google betray me). She was kinda psycho though so I think I wouldn't want to get back in touch with her as much as I'd like to stare at her from behind re-inforced glass. - Chris Jeffrey, who was my best friend in my late teens/early twenties and I lost contact with around the time I got married. I'd love to hear from him again but alas, I cannot, as he killed himself about five years ago. 3. List five things you'd like to learn how to do. - Meditate - Prepare chicken for dinner in a wide variety of ways rather than just the two or three I already know. - Learn to ballroom dance. - Learn how to do really good sound engineering - Learn how to program software 4. List five things you'd do if you won the lottery (no limit). - Pay off all my debts - Buy a really, really cool leather jacket - Buy a house - Give my brother some money so he could finish his thesis work - Always make sure there are enough peanut M&Ms in the cupboard. 5. List five things you do that help you relax. - Paint Warhammer miniatures/play Warhammer - Take long walks alone - Wash dishes. No, really. - Watch TV, though I do it very rarely and in small doses. |
| November 20 | The Horror, pt. 2 "But will those customers gobble up a soda that has the color and consistency of watered-down gravy minus the floating giblets and globs of turkey fat?" I used to think the answer was no. |
| November 20 | The Horror Last night I was painting Warhammer miniatures because I have a little game with James today and I wanted to have things looking somewhat good. As most of you know, I'm usually too busy during the day to do stuff like painting minis, so the wee hours are usually my time for that. Often, to keep myself company, I'll put my laptop on the table while I paint and play a movie to keep my mind busy while I'm doing my thing. Last night, however, there was a fly that was bugging me; it'd land on the screen of the laptop, then walk around a bit on my fingers, then sometimes take a swipe at my eyebrows. You know how flies are. Anyhow, if you've been the kind to follow my blog since way back you'll know about the chocolate milkshake story, so you know I'm always a bit yoogy about flies. This morning I got up and, after doing a few other things, came downstairs and found a moment to check my email. I opened up my Powerbook and there, on the screen, was the squashed corpse of that rogue fly. Apparently I didn't see it last night before I slammed the machine shut and somehow it got mashed between the keyboard and the screen. Either I slammed the thing shut too quickly for him to get out or the fly was in one of those sluggish, dopey moods that flies get in sometimes. Either way, he created a goo spot about one inch in diameter on my monitor. That was disgusting. |
| November 17 | WTF No, really. WTF. |
| November 14 | Friday Five I don't usually do these anymore, but this one looked decent. So what the heck. 1. Using one adjective, describe your current living space. Perfect. 2. Using two adjectives, describe your current employer. Struggling. The second adjective changes too often to pick just one. Let's just say "struggling" a second time. 3. Using three adjectives, describe your favorite hobby/pasttime. Thoughtful, relaxing, artistic. 4. Using four adjectives, describe your typical day. Autonomous. Intense. Creative. Draining. 5. Using five adjectives, describe your ideal life. Spiritual. Flexable. Humble. Generous. Loving. |
| November 14 | Ok, Cohen. You win. I've decided it's time to complain about the weather. I mean complain more about it. Check this out from Weather.ca: The passage of a sharp cold front Wednesday night has pedestrians and motorists in Ontario dealing with violent winds, snowsqualls and cold temperatures today. The winds and snow have cut power to tens of thousands of customers, caused structural damage in some areas, and forced police to close some roads, highways and bridges. I still have power, but... otherwise that pretty much describes it. |
| November 14 | Missing Persons I find that I spend a lot of time missing people. I don't have a lot of close friends nearby so I spend a lot of time thinking about those true friends who I don't get to see very often. It doesn't always make me unhappy, but they're on my mind for more time than you'd think, considering how rarely I see them. Stan, Lorraine, Brett, Mike, Aaron, Michael, Chimwemwe, Roger, Jonathan, Kelly, John, Nancy, Amy, Danny, Lena, David... I'm thinking about you guys tonight out there in Guelph, Montreal, Slovakia, USA, Maritimes, Italy, Barbados, Canada, Korea and wherever you might be right now. |
| November 13 | It Was Bound To Happen Sometime I loathe this image:  It is not yet upon us, but according to Satan, it will be shortly. Kris is already being subjected to it down in Rochester. It's only a matter of time. Cohen thinks I'm going to rag on him for being a weak-kneed pantywaist, but if his mucousy blatherings about chilly weather are his sense of grief over losing the summer... the glorious, warm, temperate summer, then I concur completely. I don't want to have to put on boots before I leave the house. I don't want to have to wait for my car to warm up and clear the frost off the windows. I don't want to have to climb into a bed which is like ice every night. I don't want to have to shovel. And yet... if that first flake falls today I will be sentenced for about five months to exactly that. I don't know why it's getting under my skin so much this year, but I sure am not looking forward to winter. Maybe that means I'm just as much of a complaining Nancy as he is, then so be it. |
| November 11 | The Shame Last night I watched a movie and really enjoyed it. The movie was Dumb and Dumberer. There were parts in it where I seriously laughed until I had to wipe away tears. Eric Christian Olsen – no joke – totally rocked my world as Lloyd Christmas. I actually found him funnier than Jim Carrey. I hate myself for telling you all this. |
| November 8 | To the kid who was standing outside the local pizza place tonight wearing baggy pants around his knees, Tommy Hilfiger boxers, tons of fake "bling bling" around the neck, bandana around the head, baseball cap over it and big fat Nikes while smoking a cigarette in minus ten degree weather: Your mom says she wants you home at 10:00. You have to look after your little brother tomorrow while she's shopping with your grandma. |
| November 7 | Again With The Friday Five I usually don't do these, mostly because they suck... but when Cohen does something, I have to do it, too. It's an obsessive-compulsive thing. 1. What food do you like that most people hate? Man, I can't say. Probably the closest thing to an answer about this is sushi, but the thing is that most of the people I know love sushi... but I know that many people in the world don't because they think it would be disgusting or gross. The key phrase here is "would be", not "is", as, because most of the people who don't like sushi have never had sushi, which makes them lame. That's right, sushi-hater. I'm talkin' to you. 2. What food do you hate that most people love? Corned beef. I don't know if most people love this, but I positively loathe it. Same goes for papaya. And pears. Not Yaw Pears. The other kind of pears. Yaw Pears rock. 3. What famous person, whom many people may find attractive, is most unappealing to you? There are so freakin' many I'm not sure if I could spend the time to list them. In general I find celebrities – even the exceptionally hot ones – to be self-interested, utterly undereducated, morally empty, insecure people with too much to prove to themselves and others. There's just too much in going on in the world to care about what Burt & Loni/Ashton & Brittney/Demi & Bruce/Tom & Nicole/Whatever are doing with their lives. 4. What famous person, whom many people may find unappealing, do you find attractive? Gillian Anderson. Sure, she seems high-maintenance and shallow and she probably berates and belittles her personal assistant in front of people and throws lattés in peoples' laps if they're not the precisely correct temperature, but... hubba hubba. 5. What popular trend baffles you? I'm not sure if this is the answer people were looking for, but I really do despair over the prevailing trend of bad hip-hop. See, I love rap and I love hip-hop and in so many ways (like in the late 80's, early 90's) it was going to be the savior of popular music, but now I find myself interested in listening to Celine Dion more than, say, P. Diddy because I find it has more edge and is more street-smart. Rap and hip-hop lacks two things it once had: a) Musical talent (the rappers I listen to today have such weak phrasing, weak time and weak sense of composition that it makes me want to punch them in the head), and b) Meaningful lyrics (I'm either hearing more "I'm The Man™" lyrics, revolting "I think women find me hot because I constantly tell them I want to nail them" lyrics, or pale, empty aping of "Life in tha hood is tough" lyrics which from Chuck D.'s lips could split concrete but from most of these younger idiots can't even tear Kleenex). And those of you who know me will know that when I say I want to listen to Celine Dion, that's really saying something. |
| November 5 | Another Writer In The Family By my daughter, Dora; age 3: So, once upon a time there was a little girl who was named Sleeping Beauty. And she was so beautiful and there was a big bad wolf. And she saw him and there was two of her friends, Cinderella and Snow White. And she played with them. And the big bad wolf came and scared them. And also he dropped them in the dungeon. And they were like, ah! cause they did not know how to go out and they also ran away. And there were stairs and they climbed back up and the big bad wolf dropped them back in the dungeon and they climbed back up and they didn't see the big bad wolf, only the mom and dad. And they were happy. They went back out and played The End and Sleeping Beauty found some blueberries. She said to Cinderella "if you plant these, they might turn into bubblegum if you're always happy" The end! |
| November 5 | A Good Day Ever wake up with with the feeling that it's going to be a good day? I've woken up with that feeling today. I've slept well. I spent last night doing constructive things. My kids are being sweet today. I've got enough money to at least make it through to tomorrow. I'm seeing a possible glimmer of hope where MacGamer is concerned. What's not to like? Oh, and that health problem I didn't tell you about... it's pretty much cleared up. I'm sure you would have wished me well if I'd shared information about it with you (but you should probably thank me for not sharing it with you. Really). |
| November 5 | The World According To Sarah Brown "I’m stimulated by distractions and free snacks, spend too much time on the internet, and am consistently fifteen minutes late everywhere I go." |
| November 3 | Who wants a smack in the head? Line forms here, everyone. And that about sums up my day. |
| November 3 | Ouch I bit my tongue about four days ago and it still hurts. Right on the very tip, I somehow crunched down on it. It shouldn't still hurt, but it sure does. I'm afraid to look at it in the mirror. |
| November 1 | Got Milk? I do this thing when I'm on the run and don't have time to iron: I have a water bottle with a spray nozzle that I use on my shirts to smooth them out. I prefer ironing, but often I don't want to or don't feel like ironing (who does?) so I find a couple squirts of mist on the shirt helps. See, the water relaxes the fabric so wrinkles kind of melt away. It's not a real nicely creased and steamed ironing job, but it makes the difference between "unmade bed" and "presentable". Today I have a shirt on that has a couple breast pockets that are all gnarly and, man... I sure don't feel like ironing them. I pulled out my bottle and gave them a shpritz and it seems to have worked. The problem now is that I can't go out because it looks like I'm lactating. |
| November 1 | Hallowe'en So people are still guessing about the "changes" I mentioned in the post below. Didn't mean to throw you folks into a tornado of guessing games (or maybe I did and I just didn't think I'd be so effective at it). I'll follow up on that shortly. To put it very generally: Things are in flux at my primary place of work and I'm pretty close to saying "I've had it. Goodbye", even if I'm not forced to. It really depends on some decisions that are made higher up than me. If I have to move on, I may try getting a job here. That aside, last night was Hallowe'en. The kids got dressed up looking hella cute. I did the rounds around town for them until I basically exhausted them, then dumped them at their grandma's where they could eat themselves into a sugar coma. It was really the perfect setup. I did do some candy handing-out as well, and I just have to say this to the youth of the Ottawa Valley: If you're growing facial hair, you're too old to go trick or treating. It's not enough to just put a tablespoon of red food dye on your shirt and walk up with your buddies with a smoke in one hand and a toque in the other one for shoving candy in. I got a lot of this kind of thing last night, and I wasn't real impressed. I'd be like "How old are you?" and the guy would be "Uhh... 16?" and I'd ask "Aren't you embarrassed to be trick or treating at your age?" and the guy would do a Jeff Spicoli on me and look like I was asking the stupidest question he'd ever heard. When I was 16 I would never have ever let my friends know if I was trick or treating, even if I was. They'd be like, "Dude, that's gay as hell". Next year I'm going to do it a bit differently. If someone who can legally drive walks up to my door and says "Trick or treat", I'm going to play along. I'm going to take their bag and say "Just a minute, young man!" and take a short walk down my hall. Then, I'm going to scoop my cat's litter box into the bag, twist the opening shut and return, handing it to him with a beatific expression of pleasure on my face. I feed my cat really cheap food, too, so there will be lots to go around for all his friends. Don't worry. |
| October 28 | Crossroads Some big changes coming up for me. Shame I can't share them with you all, but too many of the interested parties would be justified in being upset if I let the news out too early. If there is news, that is. Everything is still in motion. Changes. Some good, some not. Some that make me feel like I wasted five years, some that make me feel like those five years were just setting the stage for the next step. Changes that would lighten my load but also give me new burdens to replace the old ones. Yeah, I know this is vague. I promise that the microsecond things are set – regardless of which direction – I will let you know the whole thing. As it is with all change that happens in our lives, I'm feeling very scared. Let me just say that a big part of what I spend my time on now might no longer be part of my life, and that a big thing I spend little of my time on now might become the forerunner to all the other things. Let me also just say that I really like chee-tos. |
| October 24 | This is what I believe in There are a number of topics that I discuss here at ct.com and there are a lot I don't. Despite being careful about personal information and other things which aren't appropriate for public consumption, I try not to edit my actual thoughts more than I have to; in other words people who read this page mostly get the straight goods. I was just looking back on my archives and noticing how little I had to say about the fact that I'm a Baha'i. It's sort of a big deal for me because most of my major life decisions and many of my minor ones are made based upon this disposition. Baha'is believe in a few things: There's one God, all the religions of God come from the same source and that all people in the world are equal. These teachings were issued by the Prophet Founder of the Baha'i Faith, Baha'u'llah, in the mid-1800's, Persia (now known as Iran). The Baha'i teachings emphasize unity in diversity, abolition of prejudice of all kinds and the right to find truth under your own power and your own will. I'm a member of the Baha'i Faith for what I think is the best possible reason: I believe in it and what it teaches. I became a Baha'i when I was 14 and I have found the effect its had on my life to contribute largely to my sense of free thought, my overall well being and my ability to be accepting and tolerant of viewpoints that differ from my own. At the age of 34 I can say that I don't want to give any of that up, so I'm still rockin' in the free world as a Baha'i of 20 years. If you decide to do any poking around the internet about it, I suggest you keep in mind that there are a lot of sites jam packed with misinformation about it. Try this; it's an official site that'll give you the straight goods if you're looking for them. I'm not the best Baha'i in the world and, for what it's worth, I still know less about it than I should. I like it though and I do think that if you wanna kknow anything about me (and you're here, so for whatever reason you must) you should know just a bit about the Baha'i Faith. And now you do. So back to Warhammer! |
| October 24 | Friday Five... Kinda I don't usually pay that much attention to the Friday Five, but I took a look at it this week and saw that there wasn't an installment (on vacation or something). I've often thought the Friday Fives have been kinda crummy anyhow, so I challenged my friend Kris to make up a Friday Five for me and I made one up for her. Now we're going to answer them in our respective blogs. When we were done, Kris said "sweet MOSES I lobbed you softballs compared to your list". What can I say? I'm a Go Big Or Go Home kinda guy. Anyhow, here are her questions for me. Check out mine for her here (when she's ready to post them, which she may not do today seeing as it's her husband's birthday and she might want to leave her "Happy Birthday" post to him up for a while). What is your favorite kind of candy bar and why? Well, Peanut M&Ms are sold in the candy bar section. They're not a "bar", per se... but I'd punch your mom in the neck for one. Are you good with plants? what kinds of plants do you have in your house? I'm rather weak with plants. I've never wanted to be all that good at them. I have them in my home, but I water them all too rarely. They could be dead for a month and I wouldn't notice. I suppose that's not a good thing, huh? If you could be a superhero, what superhero power would you want? I'd like to have Rogue's ability to steal powers from other people and then use them. I'd take Vedder's ability to make Quake maps, I'd take Tomatoman's ability to do Linux and server stuff, I'd take Mark Knopfler's ability to play guitar and Kris' husband Piggy's ability to be one funny mofo. What was the last book you read, and did it teach you anything in particular? The last book I read was Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card. What did I learn? I learned a lot about the qualities of leadership. There are many arguments about nature vs. nurture in this book, but in the end it's clear that Ender Wiggin has a gift – it wasn't created in him; it was merely trained and honed. Personally speaking, this addresses a question which has come to mind more than once for me in my life. Have you ever found a good use for cardamom? if so, share the recipe! Yes, as a matter of fact I have. Even if you don't make chai, you can make a steeped cup of Earl Grey tea and put a tiny bit of ground cardamom (or a few seeds) in. Add milk and sugar to the extent you normally would and drink up. Very tasty. Your turn, Kris. |
| October 23 | Do Ya Wanna? Wanna go to a tropical place right now? Do you wanna sit in an outdoor pool? Or the ocean? Do you wanna forget what time of day it is? Do you wanna feel the burning of hot sun on your skin without worrying about having to get up and get into the shade? Do you want to sip a sweet, chilled drink or eat a handful of fresh fruit while the soles of your feet burn on the sand? Not me. I prefer 2 Celcius weather with rain and clouds, especially when I know the next five months are going to be even colder and nastier. I can't get enough. Seriously. |
| October 23 | Timing Appears To Be Everything I was just getting ready to post and say how great everything is going right now. Unfortunately I *just* got news that a very close friend's foster son killed himself... so though I'm still feeling great in many ways, it has cast a bit of a pallor on the day. Be that as it may, I am feeling a LOT better than I was last week when I was complaining about my life (sorry about that, everyone: No-one likes a whiner). There was a huge outpouring of support for me. I was starting to feel like I was on a telethon or something. Or like I was a baby duck covered in oil on the coast of Alaska. The game I'm working on is taking a nice, smooth turn upwards as things are really starting to come together. There is some *amazing* music for the game now that compliments the work of the programmer and artist very nicely. The abovementioned friend is rather closely tied to the project, however, so I expect a few weeks of set-backs, which I feel I can live with. I've turned Shawn into a total Warhammer fan. I just find it amusing. He's now programming army list builders and stuff. What a maroon. I'm ashamed to say that I've got a song from my kids' Babar movie in my head... and I like it. A lot of you have been cajoling and neelding me about not updating my website. This is actually rather flattering for me. In fact, a big part of me wants to not update so that you'll all pay attention to me. As a parent I've learned that negative attention can be valuable if positive attention is unavailable, so when certain readers threaten to cut off my testicles for not updating (you know who you are) I'll take it as an expression of love. I think I need some new clothes. More on that later. |
| October 17 | Bouncing Back Feeling better already. Ate some junk food. Talked Warhammer with Shawn. Painted up a couple cool things. Got to wear my favorite comfy pants without any underwear. I'm in a much better mood... just the way it should be. Seeya Monday. |
| October 16 | Not Good These past three days have been the three hardest days of the year (I think... my memory might be playing tricks on me). Tomorrow I go to Toronto for the weekend and will see Aaron. That should set me right in a lot of ways, and that's good. I'm out of witty stuff to tell you at the moment, so I'll just point you at this. Back on Monday. |
| October 16 | I Have Seen Perfection Thanks to Kris, I have seen the most perfect blog ever made: Que Sera Sera. The author, Sarah Brown, is currently renovating it or something, but you can view the archives here. The design is perfect in every way. Lovely to look at without being ostentatious. Quick to load. Great colors. No "feedback" forum (I hate those; they ruin the mood by mixing in too many voices). Best of all, killer writing. Some samples: I bought a new stereo this past winter. I bought it because it had a button marked "Groove." When you push it, it says GROOVE ON. Which is the best reason to buy a stereo I can think of. Also, it eerily resembles a Transformer. - So, I was thinking. He-Man and Skeletor were locked in an epic battle for Castle Grayskull, right? I never understood this. Didn't He-Man notice that Castle Grayskull kind of resembled Skeletor, and by kind of resembled, I mean they were obviously long-lost twins. Why didn't He-Man just back off and find a castle that had a gay little Dutch boy haircut and leave Skeletor the evil digs? That would kind of be like if, instead of living on the Death Star, Darth Vader lived on a ship that looked like his helmet, and Luke Skywalker was like, hey, that's my house. - "To the owner of the teal Ford Probe with the aqua vanity plate that read SNGWRTR: Ohhh I bet you are." - The spam subject line in my inbox said it all: SARAH YOU'VE GOT OPTIONS. Mr. whkl37373dylXX, you are so right. - I honestly have no idea how someone who smells as good as I do is still single. - Whenever I write myself a little reminder or note on a Post-it, and then affix that Post-it to my computer monitor at work, it's like a little part of my soul dies. - I just got some new glasses that are so seriously cute I just had to stop myself from making out with my own reflection. Kris, I can't thank you enough for this. Just as many times before, you pointed me at a truly awesome website yet again. You are the wind beneath my wings. |
| October 16 | Peter Cohen Asked Me "Was there a blow-you-away game this year? like, one that just stopped you in your tracks and made you "Whoa" in your best Neo impression?" I don't know if any game can make me ever say "Whoa" anymore. Dungeon Siege was really fun and entertaining. Like gourmet junk food. Frozen Throne is the best expansion pack ever made in the history of mankind. Halo, which isn't out yet but I did get to play, really *is* all that and a bigass bag of chips. Those left a lasting impression for me... but just barely. The rest of it can float in the toilet with a bunched up wad of toilet paper for all I care. |
| October 16 | Today Wins The Prize Today sucked. It sucked so much that it set a new standard for suckage. It didn't help that yesterday sucked as well. Man, did things go poorly. I can't even repeat it all here because some of the people who helped my day to suck didn't do so intentionally. I will say that I felt particularly alone today. Few people willing to lift a finger and do even the bare minimum to make my life easier, and me picking up everyone else's slack at every turn. So yeah. I'm feeling mirthless and, for the moment, resentful. I just needed someone other than me to pick up slack today, to take responsibility, to care about a job well done and to think beyond their own whims. I needed someone to match my commitment when it really mattered.. Tomorrow will be better. |
| October 15 | Colin Gets With The Program It's not quite what Brad had to offer, but... |
| October 15 | Add Brad Brad is now on the list of people who aren't pissing me off. He sent me this. Oh, and Sixten Otto. |
| October 15 | More Details I can't really share more about what my day was like because some of the offending organisms that had me clenching my fist in a homicidal rage are well known among readers of this blog and, frankly, I don't like dragging those things out in public. Let it be said, however, that a few people I personally know are lucky to still be alive right now. |
| October 15 | For Balance Here's a list of people who aren't pissing me off yet. Steve Linberg Kris Boyer Nic Quijano Shawn Lips I'll get back to you if I can think of some more. |
| October 14 | Today Today is one of those days when I really could use more people in my life who can do things for themselves without having to rely on being kick-started by me. Normally I just roll with it, but today I really needed to see that other people are willing to try as hard as I am for projects that matter. I could use a break from other peoples' weaknesses for a while. |
| October 10 | Woof Everyone is pregnant or have recently had a baby. Laura just had one yesterday. Kelly is having one pretty soon. Julie is having one pretty soon, too. What the hell was up early this year with you people? Did your cable TV conk out or something? Did you get a free shipment of Montavani CDs? Supermarket was out of everything but oysters? In other news, I played two 750 games of Warhammer today. One with Shawn. One with James. It was way too much. If I have to look at a single Warhammer miniature in the next 24 hours, I'll vomit. It's like watching Kenneth Brannaugh's "Hamlet" (242 minutes long for crying out loud) twice in a row; it's really something you can sink your teeth into, but after the third or fourth hour you are starting to smell burning toast and the dog is telling you to kill your neighbour. By the way, what I like best about that IMDB link is the credits: "WRITING CREDITS: WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE, KENNETH BRANNAUGH". There's a lot to talk about there. First of all, if you don't know that Shakespeare wrote Hamlet, you need to put down the "Learn Klingon In 7 Days" book and rejoin the human race. Seeing IMDB tell me that Shakespeare wrote Hamlet is kind of like saying... God... I can't think of a simile which adequately represents the obvious nature of it. Still, they have to credit Shakespeare in case his agent stumbles across the site and is all like "What the- ...heyyyy... WILLIE wrote that play and they don't even give him a little recognition". The real funny part, though, is how Kenneth Brannaugh took a writing credit. What's that Kenneth? You want your name listed below Shakespeare's? Are you positively certain that's what you want? Okayyyyyy... if you say so. I think the hat trick of amusing things I came across tonight where IMDB and Hamlet are concerned was a version of Hamlet done in 2000 that actually starred Bill Murray. Bill Murray in Hamlet... and at the same time we can't figure out why it is that the middle-east thinks of us as a spiritually and morally bankrupt culture. "You take that back, you guys... Bill Murray was awesome in Caddy Shack... he has talent" I gotta stop staying up to 3 AM. It's messing up my brain. |
| October 9 | Hiya Justin To Justin Avery Ferrera: Welcome to the world. It's actually pretty nice here despite what some people say. I heard from your dad that you arrived this morning at 10:10 AM and that you're 8 pounds, 7 ounces. I'm glad you're doing well, and I think you're really going to like your new parents and brother. Just a warning, though: Your mom watches bad TV and your dad smells like garlic. Your brother is extremely loud, but other than that he's nice. You should do just fine. I'll come see you soon once the action has died down a bit. Good luck and drink lots of milk. |
| October Somethingorother | Quick Update On Stuff™ I have been painting some Warhammer scenery (got a big game coming up tomorrow... gotta be ready). In particular, I have these "ruined chunks of building". I primed them in grey. Ok. That worked. Then I tried to wash them with black ink to create shadow and detail. Uh oh. The ink beaded and rolled off. It was like waxed paper. Total resistance. So... after much thinking and some deduction, I mixed a few drops of dish detergent with the ink and water, and voila! The surface tension was destroyed and that ink went on obediently. Now these buildings look absolutely *amazing*. I think I like my new bed. Not sure yet. How can I tell if I like it? Anyone know? Today is supposed to be twenty degrees celcius, which would really do my heart good. I felt like summer got shut off like a tap this year. Too sudden for me. I need a summer reprise if I'm going to make it through the winter (which is fast approaching). The day today is full of work and meetings and other foolishness. |
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October 6
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I Forgot... I really like my buddy Sixten. I talk to him pretty much every day, lately. Haven't had much chance to talk about him here on el diary, but he's good people. Ok. Off to try out the bed. (These two posts are completely unrelated, btw) |
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October 6
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The Big Sleep Just got a new bed. King sized from Ikea. It's big. It's seriously big. There is a lot of matressian acreage in my bedroom now. King sized is not a joke... it's the only bed I've ever had that covers more than one time zone. I'm going to sleep on it for the first time as soon as I post this. I'll report my findings tomorrow. |
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October 4
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A Trip Down Memory Lane, pt II Gee. I probably should have read those articles before I posted the links. They weren't very good, were they? |
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October 4
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A Trip Down Memory Lane I just stumbled over these three articles that I wrote about three years ago. Interesting to see how my writing style has changed in that time. |
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October 4
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From The "I Did Not Need To See That" File: I just read something about a couple from Tennessee who headed out to their front yard and started Doin' It. Hot SeXX0r. The Bone Dance. Hide The Salami. Right there in plain view of all the neighbours. Nekkid and everything. I thought "Hmm... how delightfully free-spirited, if illegal". I was thinking Haight Ashbury (or, if you're Canadian, Yorkville). I was thinking of two uninhibited hippies feelin' the love. Then I looked at this report on the Smoking Gun, complete with mug shots. I can now honestly say I may never have sex again for the rest of my life. I think I may go and wash my eyes out with bleach now. |
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October 3
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Chimwemwe's Nipple This story is kind of old, but it's a good story. It's a story I'll remember. I have a friend named Chimwemwe. I've mentioned him before. He's a very close friend. So close, in fact, we often refer to each other as brothers. I'm already pretty close to my brother as it is, so I can't say "we're closer than brothers", but I can say that Chimwemwe and I are very close and there's a lot of love there. Chimwemwe decided to get his nipple pierced one summer day in downtown Ottawa. I can't recall if he just decided this as a lark on the spot or if he had put some thought into it, but I'm a modern guy... so I encouraged him to do it. We went to a tattoo place together to get it done. I don't know what tattooo places in general are like these days, but I know there are a lot of laws in the Nation's Capital region where I live, and those laws pertain to keeping a clean shop if you run a tattoo place. as a result, most tattoo joints in town look more like dentists' offices; squeaky, hospital-clean whiteness, stainless steel gear and bright lighting. There are the usual photos of severe tattooage by past customers all over the walls (the photos that usually give me nightmares, mind you) and the staff usually look like they're carrying forty or fifty kilos of metal on their person... but the environ is clean and, to their credit, these places are generally quite safe and sterile. Chimwemwe was taken into a back room (not "the" back room, i.e. something nasty... just a private area) and I went with him. This is the area where they pierce certain parts of the body. I think it's set aside because no one wants to walk into a shop and see some guy screaming as a stranger is shoving a metal bolt through his tweeter. It's probably not good for business. Chimwemwe is a pretty macho guy. He's African and you may not realize this, but African men are not whimpy. Chimwemwe was all brash and bold and stuff, but I remember starting to sense that he was wondering if he'd made a bad choice, given the long, wide-eyed stares he'd cast at the plate of sterilized metal tools on the counter. I can read him. I knew he was starting to get a bit nervous. He tried not to show it, though. Chimwemwe sat in a chair and took his shirt off. The tattooisté was somewhat matter-of-fact about it all, and had obviously done this kind of thing several times, but was not insensitive. Just "routine"-ish, if you get my meaning. First, the tattooisté sprayed something that looked like barbecue lighter fluid on Chim from a distance of a couple feet away. It was amazing stuff. It was squirted from a little bottle (like lighter fluid, as I said) but vaporized the second it touched his nipple. It was topical anaesthetic. I didn't feel it myself, but Chimwemwe reported later that it felt very cold. Right on your bare nipple... that's gotta wake you up a bit. I held Chimwemwe's hand. This was, of course, because as a brother to the man I was there to support him and I knew he could use someone near to give him a little physical anchoring. It was not, however, one of those sensitive things that happens, like when a mother holds a child's hand during a scary part in a movie. Chimwemwe squeezed my hand with every ounce of strength he had and nearly broke every bone therein. That's ok. That's what I was there for. I did have to clench my teeth a bit, mind you. The tattooisté then did something else I'd never seen before; he took a pair of tongs, not unlike the type one takes hot dogs out of boiling water with, and grabbed Chim's nipple with it, clamping down and locking on it. He then stretched it out. I mean pulled... really pulled it out. I had never seen a nipple pulled so far in my life. In fact, I can fairly say that I did not think a nipple could be pulled so far. We're talking several inches here. Just think about that for a moment. If you like, grab your own nipple and give a good three or four inch tug and see how you like it. I'm going to bet you won't, but then again I don't know you, do I? The tongs/clamps that held Chim's nip in place actually thinned the skin out and made it into a little pocket where no meat was left... just skin. Kind of hard to explain, but when I saw it I could see the sense in doing it that way – even though it was a little odd to look at. Chim was really squishing my hand at this point. We both knew that all the "pre-piercing" steps had taken place, and so we both knew what was next. I braced myself to possibly have a few knuckles break in the next few moments. The tattooisté took a surprisingly thick pipe of metal (maybe half the size of, say, a drinking straw) and did what all three of us knew was going to happen, but only one of us was actually prepared for. At that moment, Chimwemwe hollered a word so loudly that the windows rattled. I won't repeat the word here, but its meaning suggested the tattooisté had an inappropriate physical relationship with one of his parents. While Chim was still reeling (or, it seemed, focusing on turning my hand into mulch), the ring was slipped quickly into the hole, the bead put in place and the clamp released. I can't really imagine what that felt like, but Chimwemwe's face told a tale of many feelings all rushing through him at once: Pain, relief, shock, awe, wonderment, disbelief... all the good ones. After getting a piercing there's usually a lot of endorphins that get released into the system. Chimwemwe was bouncing around all night like Tigger on espresso and amphetamines. I was still reeling from the image in my memory of that nipple stretched way beyond what I formerly considered to be the limits of human endurance and, simultaneously, wondering whether or not the fingers on my left hand would ever bend normally again. |
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October 3
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Hey, Cool Guy If you want to do something, have the stones to just do it. Or admit to yourself that you don't have the stones to do it. You might be uncomfortable with what you want to do because other people are doing it too and, therefore, it's – for some magical reason – not cool to do. As I have already said: Get over it and do it or – if you can't get over it – don't do it. Don't make fun of it because other people do it so you can feel like you're putting someone down in the process and, thereby, somehow cloud the fact you're doing the same thing. Don't use sarcasm, belittling, derision or any other kind of silly childishness to make yourself feel better about doing it. You don't have to be cooler than other people. Honest. Do it or don't do it. But shut up about it. |
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October 2
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Another Day Begins It's 8:26 AM as I write this. My oldest daughter has been off to school on her big yellow bus for about ten minutes now. Maybe a bit more. My youngest daughter has begun her day with a little munchie treat while watching "Cats" on video tape while Dad starts his own work. Later, we will go out together for something tasty from the bakery and I'll drop her off at pre-school. But that's later. Right now I'm looking into the mirror of tea in this mug next to me, thinking that I've never seen anything so lovely in my life. Only mere moments before it cools enough to take that first sip. I wait... |
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October 1
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Good Times My brother Terry and his (very pregnant) wife Julie are coming here for Thanksgiving in a couple weeks! YAY! |
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October 1
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Disturbing Discovery My cat, whose name is Fish, likes to drink from the tap in the bathroom. She hovers in there for a long time, waiting for someone to come in and start a very small trickle that she can drink from (she doesn't like it when it gushes). As soon as you go in, she starts meowing her head off and jumps up to the sink, trying with every iota of her corporeal being to show you what it is that she's looking for. Fish is a bit strange, though, because she won't drink until you're not looking. She takes her time. She sizes up the water, paces around the tap and, when she's good and ready, laps away at the stream. I was okay with that until today when I was doing some tidying in the bathroom and I realized that Fish drinks from the tap by putting her face under it, licking away with her scratchy little tongue, while at the same time (get ready for it)... sticking her ass in the toothbrushes. This is something I really wish I'd known sooner. |
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October 1
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More Toys This arrived today. It's a Warhammer thingie (like that was ever in doubt). It's not that I don't WANT to be excited about guy stuff like cars and hockey and beer. Honest. It's just that, well... hockey seems stupid to me. Sorry. At least I KNOW this is a game. |
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October 1
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Another Day Brace yourself for some serious minutiae in this post. Minutae. Minutia. Whatever. For your info, I've stripped all my Wraithguard units and my big old Wraithlord. Those discourteous cheese-eating slopheads over at Eldar Online pooped all over my paint job when I posted it. Truth is that didn't actually didn't bother me (ok, it did), but I got a couple ideas when one of them mentioned the word "copper"; gave me an idea for how to layer yellow metallics to make something real interesting. Stay tuned. You know I'm gonna post pics once I'm done. As for that electric guitar, I've wanted one just like it since I was 15. Just ask Aaron. |
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September 30
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Electric Guitar Should I buy this? Pic, pic. I think I should. |
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September 29
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The Pewter Menagerie It has come to pass that those of you who would like to see the Warhammer stuff I'm talking about and not just hear about it can now click this link to a little gallery I set up. Mazeltov. |
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September 28
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My Health It has actually been kind of a hard summer for my health. I had severe allergy problems that lasted roughly an entire month, and that was really no joke. My nostrils and sinuses would be full to capacity with you-know-what, and it hurt; a stabbing pain from the pressure and running fluid would give me this crippling stinging feeling inside my skull. I had headaches. My eyes itched like there was no tomorrow. I was sneezing dozens of times a day and would wipe blood away with the Kleenex. Did it suck? Why, yes. Yes it did. It tapered off around the time I went to Austin a few weeks ago. When I arrived back home from that trip I expected to enjoy having a completely clear sinus passageway, but alas I was to be frustrated once more. I somehow caught a cold. I'm not sure how I did it. Exposure to too much cold at once (sometimes the frosty air conditioning in Texas buildings can affect my health)? Was it something I caught from the kids? I have no idea. All I know is that even though the ragweed had subsided, I was still missing a lot of sleep, putting a lot of blood in my Kleenex and steadfastly praying for death. If you want a sense of how my average day went, do this: Put one of these up your nostrils, seal them with rubber cement and then throw itching powder in your eyeballs (don't scrimp!). While trying to sleep, balance a leaky Dixie Cup of water on your nose in such a way that no position will keep the fluid from leaking out. I feel better now though, thanks. HEY DON'T FORGET I accidentally borked the link that's usually at the top of the page, but my archives are here. (addendum: I fiXX0r3d it) Good Grief! MORE Updates If this is the first time you've peeked in on my site in a while then you probably missed the most recent update, which was only a few hours ago and appears below (look for "The Maxi-Terminator-Super-Über-Mega-Dance-Party Blog Update"). I have a few minutes and I'm adding a few more tidbits at the top of this most recent update, but if you're one of the people who has been Warhammer Still ch0wns Me What I originally thought would be something of a lark has turned into a full-scale hobby for me. I'm going to just nerd out for a minute here and let you know what's happening in my Warhammer universe. I've been painting every single night; not to the detriment of my work responsibilities, but definitely to the detriment of my sleep schedule. I get these little pewter or plastic miniatures, assemble them, base them in primer, add the flourishes and then varnish them (because I have never seen anything in my life that removes paint faster than my daughters' sticky little fingers). I've managed to build up an army all my own (getting lots of advice from "Eldar Online"... more on that later because a couple funny stories came out of it). All based in dark green with brilliant gold armor, turqouise gemstones and small touches of lighter green, yellow or red, I've got a good number of these things painted and, I won't lie to you.. it feels amazing. They're so beautifully made and the learning I've done about how to apply paint to one of these little bastards has really inspired me to do an excellent job on each and every one. From learning dry-brush techniques to applying ink washes, I think I've really found something artistic here that excites me. Yes, I'll put some pictures online as soon as I have the means. There are several aspects to Warhammer (particularly Warhammer 40,000, which is the flavor of Warhammer that I play). There's the painting, there's the gaming and there's the whole ingredient that folks in the "community" refer to as "fluff". Fluff is about back story, history, characters and the whole element of make-believe where each of the little miniatures you paint has a roll to play in a larger universe. Dungeons and Dragons players will know that role playing games only get better as you get more into the role, i.e. give your adventurer a back story and a name and a history, thereby fleshing out the game experience and making it more full. Warhammer is not a role playing game, per se (it's more tactical; think "Risk" or "Axis and Allies"), but there is no lack of fluff. There's at least 15 years of story-writing in this game (Warhammer goes WAY back) and the fans can often be seriously rabid. In fact, Warhammer is like Dungeons and Dragons in the sense that there are many who just go way too far with it and begin to... well.. make asses of themselves. Sometimes you find yourself in the store talking to someone who will say something like "Things would have been different if the legendary battle of Gowath-Ma had the hordes of Alg'nan had not brought the hammer of Gral-Thor down upon the heads of the Krak-To-Wa soldiers... Maugan-Ra wept that day and, even now, he still carries the burden of loss in his heart and seeks to avenge his fallen companions..." etc. etc. No sense of irony. No laughter. This dude is dead freakin' serious. He thinks about this stuff when he's in the shower. He calls his friends up to discuss it. He tries to seduce women with it. In the same way that Canadians talk about the battle of Dieppé, he is talking about the ancient history of little plastic models with pretend laser-guns and space-helmets. This is when you sort of feel like putting a knife in someone's eye just to put them out of the lonely, meaningless misery which is their lives. Anyhow, I'm getting away from the point. Eldar Online has a whole lot of stuff about fluff. There are forums dedicated to it. Anyhow, in the next edition of the Warhammer 40,000 rules apparently they are going to kill off a key character in the Eldar Army whose name is (thinking... trying to remember this... ) Eldrad Somethingorother. I then witnessed a one-two punch of nerdness that astonished even me (and remember, I'm INTO this stuff, so that's really saying something). There are threads in the forums about the death of Eldrad and it's as if they've announced that a major political leader has died of cancer. You get responses like "They CAN'T kill Eldrad... they just CAN'T", "I can't believe he's dead. I just can't accept it" or "We'll all carry a heavy burden of grief without Eldrad, who has led us to many victories and been such an important part of our lives". Already at this point I'm plugging my nose and waving the air away from my face, thinking "Holy smokes... these guys..." but then the hilarious thing: Some guy who plays another army (there are many; I think he was Chaos or Space Marines or Imperial Guard) comes into the forums like a party crasher. He lays down some hilarious line like "Eldrad's dead? Good. So much for your mighty Farseer. He was nothing compared to [insert name of another fictional Warhammer army leader who, ironically, is also represented by a tiny pewter miniature]". So at first I was thinking that it was über-nerdy to read and discuss the Warhammer fluff. Then, my impressions of nerdness were usurped when I saw players actually pouring forth genuine expressions of grief and pain over the passing of a fictional character with a hard-to-pronounce name. The zenith, however, was the comeback by the Chaos/Space Marine/Imperial Guard/Whatever guy. That, for me, took the cake: To stand up in public and flip the bird and utter a derogatory word at gamers who mourn over a fallen make-believe character but to also speak of him as if he actually was a real-live person just struck me as awesome. I loved reading that. "So much for your mighty Farseer". Ha ha ha. I keep whispering it to myself, even while I'm painting a Farseer miniature. It's just too perfect. I loved having that handed to me on a silver platter. The world is a beautiful place. The Girls At Starbuck's Love Me They do. I don't know when the last time I paid for a drink there was. I don't think it's a sex-appeal thing (though it's true that I am awfully good looking). I think it's a thing of me just a) Coming in very, very often and ordering the exact same thing, b) Being a chatty bastard who becomes familiar to the staff because I stand at the bar and run my mouth while waiting for my drink and c) Being cute as a beaver. In one day I can sometimes get three or four drinks for free, including the prized Venti Mocha Valencia – the most expensive drink they make. The Maxi-Terminator-Super-Über-Mega-Dance-Party Blog Update So I wrote about 2000 words in my latest blog update to bring you all up to speed on what I've been doing lately (in the long chasm-like interruption of my usual blog-updating duties), but I accidentally deleted it. What a rookie mistake that was. I seriously felt like I was going to puke when I realized what I'd done and the amount of work to replace it began to sank in. I can't rewrite that update (the moment is gone), but I can give you this one. It's all on the same day, but still separated by bolded headlines to create the illusion that it's many days of updating. Or something. I don't know. I just wrote a lot of stuff. Read it and stop bugging me. My Sunglasses I'm picky about sunglasses. I've owned many pairs, from the über-expensive designer variety to the dime-store sold-by-weight variety. Each has their benefits (expensive ones tend to keep their shape and look good, cheap ones are easily replaced when you inevitably lose them). There was a pair I picked up in the Newark airport that were close to perfect. They had that Matrix-like curved glass that I like, but unlike the last really expensive pair I'd bought (to which the cheap Newark pair were nearly identical), they had a much better hinge and arm system. So, in short, my $9.50 pair of sunglasses pretty much outclassed my $250 sunglasses. I'm not so precious about my money (or crying over spilled milk) that I'm going to let that bother me, but I do have to say that the irony is not lost on me. The only problem I had was yesterday when I stepped on them by accident. I didn't bring my full force down on them, but I definitely did bend one of the arms. Bending the arms on a pair of sunglasses is like accidentally getting packing tape stuck to itself; undoing what you've done is a superhuman feat and, for the most part, you're better just starting again from scratch. I put the glasses on my face and looked in the mirror. What once stared back at me looking like a Keanu Reeves wannabe (which was the idea) now looked like Keanu Reeves after getting a giant whiffle bat in the side of the face; glasses were crooked and sat on my face at a steep angle and, if I had stepped out into public with them on, people would no doubt think that I was suffering from some kind of cognitive disability which prevented me from being able to tell if I look like an asshat or not. Then, of course, came the long, painful period of deluded struggling to straighten those bastards out again; bend a millimetre this way, put the glasses on, take them off, bend another millimetre, put them back on, still not right, take them off, bend another millimetre, put them on, realize I've bent too far, take them off, etc. This goes on for about two days in small, five-minute bursts. I'm not saying I got them fixed, but I did get them wearable. You would have had to have looked me straight in the face from less than a foot away to see the bend that had the two lenses aligned vertically and horizontally, but misaligned where the Z axis was. This was good enough for the time being, as I was committed to investing more time when my schedule permitted to straighten them out even more. Then I finished lunch with Duncan Hanks yesterday at the Superior Restaurant in Almonte (lunch at the "Supe" is a semi-regular tradition for the two of us now, and we usually squeeze in a date once every month or so). As I was going back to my car I was trying to get my glasses off my face and back into my pocket so that I'd know they were safe as I did things like put on my seat belt and other "getting ready to drive" activities. Well, something about the arm of the glasses was going rogue on me and actually caused the glasses to completely bounce off my body and onto the street next to me. It was like something out of a cartoon: As the glasses came to rest still on the pavement I watched a Mazda 626 pass by and - yes - drive directly over my glasses, flattening them, smashing the glass and warping what metal didn't break beyond recognition. Somewhere in my head I heard a cartoonish "Wap-wap-wahhhhhhh"... Well. I guess not all is lost. I'll probably be back in Newark next month. My Friend Is A Thief. For Real. Like, A Real One, i.e. A Guy Who Steals Stuff. I'm Not Kidding. I can't name any names, but I found out recently that my friend is a thief – and not from him. As a matter of fact, I can't even divulge many details, as he may read this site and I know a lot of people who know him personally do... but I had to mention it. I knew he had left the place where he was working not too long ago, but I figured that was just because he was done with this place (he'd been there a few years and did have other work on the go). The thing is, I have other friends who work at this place (he may or may not realize this). My second friend, who still works with this company, explained to me that the friend in question who left had been fired for stealing money. I was seriously floored. I tried to keep my composure as I was hearing this news, but I know that I was visibly astonished and shaken. The thing is, we're not talking about a few bucks off the till. Apparently over a while he'd been siphoning off as much as $50,000. Think about that for a moment: Fifty-Thousand Dollars. I don't know many more details than that, but you gotta admit – the guy has a gift. I can't say I'm surprised; while I never expected to hear that this fellow had been stealing, I do know that he's something of a genius, and if anyone could get through the rigmarole of checks and balances in running a cash till, it'd be this guy. I don't know what's happening with him now. I don't expect that anyone laughs off $50,000, and I imagine that there would be some kind of legal consequences, but I haven't heard anything about it. I haven't spoken to him since I heard about the situation. He's a really great guy though and I certainly don't intend to not speak to him for the rest of my life or anything stupid like that. I just wonder what I'm going to say – if anything. Don't Mess With Texas I took a trip recently down to Austin, Texas. These people were holding a sort of press/party/whatever event where they a) Thanked all those people who helped them become the #1 Mac game publishing company in the world and b) Showed all their new products. They're good people and I believe in their products. It was an honor and a pleasure to be invited. Naturally, I shared a room with Peter Cohen, which was one of the highlights. Cohen is just about my speed; not so much of a partyer than he's impossible to keep up with without rupturing your liver or ending up in the drunk tank, but he also knows how to hit a party with full force. Here, for instance, is a photo of him trying to bite Aspyr's Nestor Hernandez on the ear very forcibly. Nestor was awesome... we treated him like a little dog and kicked his ass all night. That's your initiation to become our friend, btw. I love Texas. I love it. There's a lot about it to like: The people are great (I have many dear friends there), the weather is hot but good and the food is unbelievably good. I have come to understand that I am very much a fan of Texan food, above most other forms. I also made a little movie in one of the Starbuck's establishments. Naturally, I was there for business as well. I did some work on checking out the status of Halo on the Macintosh. I don't feel like recapping the whole thing here, so if you want to learn what I learned, click here. Grade One It's been a LONG time since I've written in this stupid journal, so there's a lot of stuff that you, the faithful reader, has missed. My oldest daughter, for instance, has started grade one. Grade one wasn't a good year for me. It was the year when I realized that I wasn't going to be spending the rest of my life just doing whatever I felt like. The year before in kindergarten I had been pretty much allowed to play when I felt like it and pretty much nothing was asked of me, and at the same time I was provided with play-dough, fingerpaints and other things that make a five year old sit up and take notice. The next year I realized that I was going to be expected to write characters, sit and listen, etc. etc. and I realized that my window of opportunity for telling the teacher "Thanks, but I have a date with a box of LEGO" was swiftly closing. Ruth is now a grade one student. She has an oversized backpack with about ten extra compartment attachments (thanks, Grandma... if she ever needs to bring home a chopped-up caribou, she'll be all set). She gets on the bus first thing in the morning and gets off of it late in the afternoon. She goes all day, every day. I don't agree with this system. Eight hours a day of time dedicated to school (or the transportation thereto) is too much to ask of a six year old girl. I don't like it. I don't like her being around the other children who have been raised to behave like barbarians while she is being raised to say "please" and "thank you" and respect others' rights. I don't like to think of her being tired or scared or lonely. In short, I'm not happy to see her go. I work at home and, frankly, I'm too used to having her close by, ready for a snuggle or a word of help when she wants one. I enjoy getting her a snack when she needs one or putting on a movie when she's in the mood for one. I enjoy the background murmur of Ruth playing with her little sister while I hammer away at whatever ridiculous thing it is that I'm supposed to be working on. Now, I get Ruth for about four and a half hours a day: Three and a half at the end, and an hour when she wakes up. Of course, I still have weekends and holidays... but the tether is slipping my hands already and I am forced to face the fact that Ruth is well on her way on creating a life for herself that doesn't center around me or her mom. I'm learning how to let go of her. I always knew I'd have to... just not so soon. What's worse is, in about two years, Dora's next. Windows I've had some opportunity lately to get to use Windows for PC. This is hardly a new experience for me; I've owned about five Windows machines in about as many years and most of my friends use Windows. As a gamer, I'm up on news of what technologies are coming out for Windows and how well they work. I've even built a few PCs that run Windows and I probably know more about how it works than the average PC user. Every time I get prolonged exposure to Windows, I have to ask the same question: How in the hell can people use this busted piece of hacked system software? See, I use a Macintosh. I try not to sound like the typical elitist snob who uses Macs (because, as much as I love the Macintosh, I think many of the users need a punch in the head). Certainly Apple has learned a lot of hard lessons born of their stubborn, arrogant sense of world-revolves-around-us-itis (and continue to do so). Up until the release of the G5, I always thought that the Mac costed too much for the amount of power it delivered I do believe the G5 closes this gap, but that doesn't change many, many years of pricy hardware. Yes, I am very aware (even more than non-Mac users) of where Apple has dropped the ball, how the Mac is still lagging behind and how the community around it is often as blind as a bat. That being said, I'd rather put up with that entire misguided bouillabaisse of ignorance and poor business decisions than switch to Windows. See, Apple makes the Macintosh. You don't get a Macintosh if you don't buy it from Apple. It's chock full of great hardware: DDR RAM, 64-bit CPUs, 1 Ghz motherboard, cutting-edge NVIDIA or ATI hardware, top-flight optical drives. You name it. Apple also makes the operating system. It's an OS based on a UNIX kernel (which means if you know your Linux you can pop open a terminal and work your magic... you can even build Linux apps on your Mac). Even so, it's got the most robust, simple and useful graphic user interface in the world. If your grandma who knows nothing about computers is going to learn to use one, she could easily sit down in front of one of these and be rockin' inside of a few minutes. I've seen this happen with my own eyes. The result of the union of Good Hardware™ and Good Software™ with Good Design™ is that you have a Good Experience™. Plug one of your peripherals in, and it works. You don't have to mess around. Want to update the OS? Click a button. Enter Windows: Typically run on machines made from parts that come from several vendors and manufacturers, the OS comes in several flavors (89, 89se, ME, 2000, NT, XP home, XP pro – and this isn't even including the service packs). Put this unpredictable combination of mostly standardless crap together and you end up with Trash™ running on Crap™. As we all know, Trash™ running on Crap™ results in a lot of Bullshit™. The typical experience with Windows (I don't care which flavor... I've seen it on all of them): You've been connecting to the internet for two weeks on your new PC. One day Windows just doesn't recognize your ethernet card anymore. As far as the OS is concerned, it's just ceased to exist. Or attach an MP3 player and watch the hilarity ensue. "Device not recognized" will, after hours of work, transform into "looking for drivers". If you finally get it working, you run the same risk of the OS just forgetting to recognize it and you have to start all over again. Install an app and watch it spray .DLL files all over your drive. Want to trouble-shoot that application? Book a month off work to do it, because with file names like b3e5ty54.lib, you're going to need to do a lot of sleuthing. Is the entire system shaky and having performance problems? 99% of techs will tell you to format your hard drive and re-install everything. My question to people who tell me that Macs are inferior is this: Who has time for this foolishness? Is your week so devoid of important things to do that you can chase those kinds of problems down for a few hours? Do you consider it to be the price of operation that you simply can't expect your machine to work properly most of the time? Do you not care that Windows is a gaping hunk of Swiss Cheese where security is concerned? Are these things what you consider to be the building blocks of a decent, professional computing system? The essential difference between the Mac and Windows is that the Mac OS is designed to be of help to the people who use it. It's created and shaped so that everything you do becomes easier and that routine tasks such as installing drivers or checking versions is almost entirely done away with. Windows only includes the features it needs in order to drive the Microsoft marketing machine behind it; few of the fixes go beyond the cosmetic level (as is clearly shown in the endless parade of patches and updates) and hackneyed versions of Macintosh operating system interface elements are used to cover up a technology that, frankly, does not care whether or not you have a good computing experience. Apple has problems and the Mac isn't perfect, but I have to ask: If you're serious about your productivity and OS stability, why in the world would you pass up OS X? The mind boggles. More Later My laptop is almost out of power. I'll begin regular updates again shortly. |
| August 31 | Cute My youngest daughter, who is three years old, has a pair of panties that she likes because they have ruffles on the butt. When she asks for them, she says she wants the ones with "wuffles". I don't care how cynical or bitter you think you are. If you don't find that painfully cute, check yourself for a pulse. |
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| August 29 | Purpose I've finally figured out what I want to do in life. All I want to do until the day they bury me is: Paint Warhammer miniatures, drink Pepsi and watch Die Hard sequels. |
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| August 29 | Whores Sorry about the garish nature of this entry's title, but it's the most salient word for what I'm about to discuss. "Whore" is kind of a rough word; it's never used as a compliment, that's for sure. What does it mean, though? Simply put, a whore is a prostitute. In case you just arrived on planet Earth from another galaxy, a prostitute is someone who exchanges for money a sex act which is normally kept private. By the time you read this you will likely have heard about that pugnacious moment on MTV when one blonde female singer who makes too much money french-kissed another blonde female singer who makes too much money. You have to understand that the aspect of Madonna's public image I loathe most is the notion that she is a "forward thinker". In my mind, forward thinkers are people who don't do or believe what everyone else does or believes. They're ahead of where other people are. They do things that challenge the world and often call upon humanity to take a bold, scary step forward. French kissing another chick on MTV is hardly challenging for those who watch that channel and, for what it's worth, many other people either. In this current day and age the gimmick of bi/homo/quasi-sexuality as a way to shock people is of an ever-decreasing value. Maybe my grandmother would raise an eyebrow if she met to real-life lesbians, but the rest of us are more likely to reply "...yeah, and?" Is Madonna a forward thinker? I've been a popular music affectionado since her first single hit the charts and I have to say after all the marketing, PR and meticulous image shaping she's unapologetically brought to an industry that hardly needed to be any more shallow ...she's far from forward thinking. She's so painfully chained to the ever-fleeting "now" that it actually makes me feel sorry for her. The ever-so-timely display of homoerotic posturing is as bankable as the Nike checkmark. I don't know much about Britney Spears but the little I know leads me to believe there isn't much there except a division of a record company dedicated to making sure the money keeps flowing. Two women let the world watch them kiss. Was this done because their passion overcame them even though the cameras were rolling? Hardly. This rehearsed moment was no more than a guerilla marketing effort for their respective careers, and rehearsed, contrived acts of lust are an insult to the intelligence.. So what did we see? Two women performing the motions of lust in order to be more bankable. In other words; exchanging for money a sex act which is normally kept private. In other words, the two of them are whores, and this is a time in human history when we really don't need more whoring. |
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| August 28 | Blogs There are two things I don't like about blogs. First thing is the word "blog". The other thing is how, unfortunately, people actually read them. You see, there's probably a list of about 30 regulars who read what I write here. I'm actually beginning to guess it's upwards of 40, just from the emails I get, the comments online, etc. These are not huge numbers, granted, but most of these people know me personally; that's the problem. When I have a bone to pick with one of those people, I can't write about it here, can I? I don't want the person in question to be looking at my diary and saying "Heyyy... Corey just said I'm a mouth-breathing bag of walking garbage", now can I? Worse still, my comments probably wouldn't be outright insults, but rather little comments on what I observe that I think is a waste of time or ridiculous or whatever. Then there'll be that frosty next meeting at the post office, the local restaurant, the get-together or whatever where the other person's like "So... I guess you DO think I'm too fat to wear form-fitting clothing" to which I then have to reply "No, no, noooo I didn't mean it like THAT..." and the awkwardness meter goes through the ceiling. I could try that trick where I write in code; instead of saying the person's name and what they did, etc, I could just be very vague. Try this: Today this person mentioned this thing to me in passing. I didn't think about it at the time, but over the course of the day I began to think something about that thing the person mentioned. Pretty soon it changed the way I was thinking about a particular time when that person and another person were doing something and I thought about it quite differently. Now that thing has got me wondering if I should say something to that person at some point where we next see each other. Yeah. THAT'S a ball of laughs. So anyway, if you're that person who reads my blog about whom I'd like to write, know this: Recently you did or said something that made me think something about something you're doing that I think something about. I didn't want to have to say something, but that thing you mentioned just made me think something about how a certain thing is taking on a particular characteristic. There. Glad to get that off my chest. P.S. Peter Cohen's a prick. |
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| August 28 | Food Here's an inventory of everything I've eaten since Monday morning: - PepsiI now think my blood type is officially "Pepsi"; if you cut my arm I'll bleed in blue and red with a white stripe in the middle. The term "Pepsi Stuff" now applies to things like my liver, my spleen, my digestive tract, etc. I'm starting to get that thing drunks do after a serious bender where they say "I SWEAR I will never touch tequila AGAIN for as long as I LIVE", but they're back at it within six hours trying to suck all that sweet tequila goodness out of the worm at the bottom of the bottle. Not very hopeful, but then again... I do like Pepsi. I guess it's not really news that I'm off my Atkins diet, but I have no idea what has gotten into me over the last few days. Maybe I'm trying to commit suicide very, very slowly. |
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| August 27 | I Guess It's Time For Another One Of These Update time. That's right, children... gather around. I'm going to tell you about my accomplishments. Don't worry... it'll be a short chat. The big thing I did was write a 5600 word article for macHOME today. When I say "today", I'm not entirely exaggerating; I started yesterday at around 9:30 PM and finished today at about 3:00 PM. I did, in fact, sleep for six hours during that time, which means I squeezed that bad boy out in roughly 12 hours. In case you mistakenly think I'm boasting... I'm not. I'm rather disappointed in myself. The article was due a few days ago but I have been experiencing the mother of all writing blocks. This is a little unusual for me because usually I'm extremely prolific (I think it's one of the few God-given talents I have). Lately the feeling of sitting down to write something – anything – is sort of like the feeling of eating live slugs. The act of getting down to composing something has actually been making me ill. Luckily for me I have an extremely understanding editor who put up with my difficulties, and today I managed to get it done. Now, after completion I had a skull full of flavored yogurt, but it got done. Ok. Enough about that. My real accomplishment of the last three days is that I've managed to paint my Necron Monolith. That's right; the centerpiece of any Necron army... the floating war-building thingie with the guns. It sort of resembles a great, majestic porta-potty. Anyhow, here's what makes me awesome: As you can see from the afore-linked image, everyone paints their monolith silver or black or green or some combination thereof. Not me. I painted mine to resemble an Egyptian pyramid with crumbling stone and bronze trim throughout. It was murder, too... I had already primed it black and then put silver paint on it. Upon the realization that the black/silver/green color scheme would make my monolith look just like every other dork's monolith. I couldn't have that. I then primed it white. Bad move. I then covered it with a color that Games Workshop cleverly likes to call "vomit brown" (charming). A couple of coats of that and then a blast of this freaky paint that actually leaves a granite texture on the surface. A couple layers of desert yellow over that, some dry-brushed vomit brown and there you have it. The other Warhammer players will think of me as their spiritual leader once they see this. Ok, I do realize I've lost most of you at this point. For those of you who are left: Hi! How are you? How was Star Trek tonight? Great! Tomorrow I plan to put a bit more time into the Keeper of Error which, I must say, is charging along amazingly well. In fact, it's going so well that I'm sort of looking over my shoulder wondering when things will start to go badly. Karma dictates that I haven't earned so easy a ride, and therefore I'm keeping an eye open. In closing I'd just like to say that people, in general, are stupid. |
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| August 24 | Things I Never Thought I'd Actually Get A Chance To Say"So anyhow, please do tell me about your brilliant plan to make a clothing-wearer out of your pet." |
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| August 23 | Allergies I have ragweed allergies. Bad ones. I didn't when I was a kid or a teenager and for most of my 20's, but about five years ago I started getting sensitive to it. Last few years the entirety of August turns out to be a write-off, where I lose most of my sleep to sinus pain, nose running and all the other attractive accoutrements of a bad allergy problem. Last night I basically didn't sleep; I tried to find a position where my runny nose wouldn't do something unsavory, and yet a pinhole-sized opening in my nostrils can let in oxygen. The next day I spend my waking hours standing like a zombie with little energy, patience or will to live. Yes, I do take medication, but that only seems to stave off the worst of the worst of it, but not get it down to a manageable state. I visited an allergist, however, who recommended a series of injections that would help with the problem. Over the course of four years (yeah, four year) the injections would help me to build up an immunity to the allergen and I would be set for the rest of my life. I'm seriously considering it. |
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| August 23 | David Lee Roth: Visionary, Poet, Wearer Of Assless Pants I was just reminiscing about Van Halen's biggest hit, "Jump" with Josh. Something I could not have adequately come to understand when I was 15 back in 1984 has begun to dawn upon me in it's full glory: David Lee Roth was a man of unprecedented vision. Absorb some of the bard's poetic outpouring in this clip from "Jump", his greatest epiphany and most tortured ode: Can't you see me sitting here I got my back against the record ma-shee-eeeeeeen I ain't the worst that you seee-eeeeen Oh can't you see what I meee-eeeeeean He's a man who is caught in the complex web of human existence. He's seated, but he's not just seated just any place; he's inaccessible from behind, from the most vulnerable direction. His back is against a record machine, and he is wondering not only if you can see his precarious position, but also if your inner eye is able to perceive what it is that he means, although he has said nothing. He is a man of vision, a man of passion. Both then and now he opens his lonely, fragile heart and brings his powerful message of love to those who have the openness of spirit to hear it. Thank you, David Lee Roth. Thank you for being a beacon to us in these complex, confused times. |
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| August 20 | Mac Myths & IT All you smartymenz who think that Macs are just toys for dumb people might be living in the past. Check out this editorial by Michael Gartenberg. |
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| August 20 | C'est Woof If there's one thing I love, it's pictures that show how scary Celine Dion looks. Remember that one I found a few months ago? I found another, even scarier one. |
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| August 20 | Uncle Status: Pending My brother is expecting his first child around New Year's Eve of this year. I'm very excited. Here's are two pictures (one and two) of my niece or nephew to be. Gifts now being accepted. Send Pokemon stuff. |
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| August 19 | Uhhh.. This and this. |
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| August 18 | Start Your Week Off With Something Beautiful Right here. |
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| August 17 | The Hearty Kicking Of Ass Tonight I had a really fantastic meeting about the game I'm developing. There's a very, very strong base behind all the composite parts we want to achieve now. I finally can see every step between here and completion and I'm extremely encouraged by it. Expect more news soon. |
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| August 15 | Who Turned Out The Lights, III? Best "Blackouts Suck" story so far: "Cars sit stopped about three-quarters of the way up the first hill of the Magnum XL200 ride at Cedar Point Amusement Park in Sandusky, Ohio." |
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| August 15 | Who Turned Out The Lights, II? Just to clarify, yesterday the lights at my place went out at about (I think it was) 3:30 or 4:00 PM and didn't come back on well until I was in bed, which was later than 2:30 AM. My friends Nick and Shawn were visiting (Nick stayed over) and throughout the evening we chatted, BBQ'ed and just chilled out. The astonishing part of the whole thing wasn't the blackout aspect. I live in a small town in a part of the country that gets a fair amount of very serious snow and rainfall. No, it was that millions of people got left in the dark at the same time. That was just downright astonishing. One minute I'm looking at the little light in the refrigerator, the next moment just about all of Ontario, New York (state) and Ohio are seeing blackness in the ice box. I'm looking forward to hearing cool stories about what everyone did during the blackout. I was not particularly traumatized by the personal effect of it. So what if I couldn't connect to the internet for, what, 12 hours? All my Penis Enlargement ads were waiting for me when I got online this morning. No big whoop. |
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| August 15 | Teen Idol Zombies From Beyond The Grave I've taken nearly no notice of the Olsen Twins during my life, as I've always thought that they are a company-made commodity akin to canned soda or that stuff that stereos come packed in – and little else. I just had to take pause for a moment when I stumbled by accident across this photo and jumped back from the monitor in semi-terror. The only thing that'd make it more perfect is if someone painted "REDRUM" on the wall behind them in red paint. |
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| August 15 | Who Turned Out The Lights? From CTV: The lights went out on both sides of the Canada-U.S. border at 4:15 p.m. ET Thursday. The blackout spread over an area of 9,300 square kilometres that included Toronto, Niagara, Ottawa and as far north as North Bay. In all, about 50 million people were affected, officials have estimated.At least the BBQ still worked. |
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| August 12 | My New Favorite Word Torpid. tor·pidI saw it recently when I saw an article about that movie, Gigli. |
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| August 12 | A Change Of Heart A while back I said a few words about the downloading of movies by way of Bit Torrent (a program which makes downloading huge files easier if a lot of people are downloading the same file at once). I've since had a change of heart about it. Formerly, I was of the opinion that no matter what kind of snake it is that owns a certain intellectual property, it's not right to download it. This is a belief I held onto for quite a while. That changed recently. I'm very sensitive to being insulted. It might be something of a character flaw, but when I feel as though someone is treating me like I'm less than I am, I get touchy. I had an experience like that just lately when I went to see Tomb Raider 2: Cradle of Kife. When I sat down with my draconianly priced candy and my popcorn which has been marked up 1000%, I was treated to the usual cavalcade of advertising I don't think I need to see (seeing as I paid to be in the theatre in the first place) and the trailers for movies that, generally, suck. Before all that began, however, I saw something that I had not seen before. It was an ad from the motion pictures association of America (I assume that's the MPAA). In this "very special message" from the MPAA, we met Some Guy. Some Guy's name might have been Barney or Scott or Trevor or who cares. He was a dishevelled man with a baseball cap and a head of hair that said "please rub me on your car engine to lubricate". Some Guy talked about set construction. That's what Some Guy does; set construction. He talked about how he had worked on this popular movie or that popular movie and etc. etc. Then Some Guy started talking about piracy of movies and how it was, in essence, stealing from his pocket. He was coming at us with that "I'm just Mr. Normal and I got kids to feed - and I'm scared I won't be able to" attitude as he waxed despondently about how he was worried about getting the next job because movie piracy was going to cut him out of a job or something. He basically set forth the premise that, if you pirate movies, the loss goes right past all the incredibly rich and wealthy movie studio execs and, instead, comes right out of his pocket. In other words, if you download Demi Moore in Striptease off the internet, Some Guy will be out of work and his kids, who are no doubt incredibly cute, will have to turn to selling drugs or prostitution so that Some Guy can afford hair grease. Once Some Guy's sermon was over, I was then treated to 130 minutes of the worst film-making I'd ever seen. That, ladies and gentlemen, is where I had my change of heart. I can accept that even slime have rights. I have long advocated that the crime is not justified simply because the victim deserved it. I have always believed that no, the end does NOT justify the means. Some Guy, however, got me looking at things in a different light. When the MPAA puffs out their chest and says "You can't download our movies. Instead of making billions and billions of dollars, we'll only make billions of dollars" as they puff on cigars rolled with hundred dollar bills, you still can't argue that they're mostly right – at least legally. If civilization turns into a system where it's ok to steal from asshats and not ok to steal from nice guys, then the system of judicial practice is going to become incredibly complex and subjective. Seeing as it's the very definition of complex and subjective already, you really don't want that. My problem comes in where the MPAA tries to portray itself as Red Riding Hood while the average college twerp who downloads a copy of Terminator 3 is supposed to be the wolf. They shove Some Guy in front of the camera to be the face of the MPAA and plead that he's just eking out an existence and that we are very close to putting a real nice guy out of work... well... that's where my biscuits get burned. Over the last 100 years, the motion picture industry has prostituted the art of film-making to the point where people can't even tell when a movie sucks anymore. The machine is oiled so completely with formula and derivative motifs that the world doesn't even know what to make of film that doesn't bypass all artistic methodology and replace it with explosions and tits. Thanks to the motion picture industry, we believe that Jim Carrey is funny, Arnold Schwarzenegger can act, Cameron Diaz is sexy and that three cups of popped popcorn should cost about $4.50. And then there's the money that has come from the great prostitution; it piles up to the ceiling in the head offices of Paramount, 20th Century Fox and Universal (not to mention others) where cocaine is passed around like candy, people are used and ejected without so much as a whit of care and more fat is trimmed from the sides of those who *truly* work in order to buy yet another Ferrari or furnish another private jet. Cynics think I am being dramatic, but a little reading, a little research and a little glancing encounter with the industry will corroborate every word I have said. I therefore believe that if anyone is going to ruin Some Guy's life, it's the MPAA. They'll lay him off. They'll cut his wages. They'll increase his work hours. They, as a body, care less about him than any average citizen does. Yet, when they need a friendly, human face in front of the camera, suddenly Some Guy is their best friend. So here's my current attitude: The cavalcade of styrofoam which passes for film making that has distributed billions of questionably-earned dollars to undeserving no-talents who are so unable to understand their fellow man, let alone what the art of film-making is, no longer counts to me as "hands-off". The vampires who will use Some Guy's face like a commodity to solicit sympathy for their completely inhuman process of creating garbage so that their undeserved riches can be spent with impunity will get no more cooperation from me. I will no longer advocate that they be treated fairly. I will no longer tell others that they should play fair with an industry which does not understand what "fair" is. I won't be defending the rights of the MPAA any more. From here on in I will do what I feel like doing where the MPAA is concerned; I will download the movies I wish to download, watch them, and if I feel as if they've earned my money I will see that movie in the theatre or rent/purchase the DVD. I will not feel as if I owe it to anyone to do any different. I do not believe that Some Guy will benefit or be harmed by what I do. Forget it, MPAA. If you're gonna insult me and make believe that I think Some Guy is your real face, we are no longer going to settle this like gentlemen. Set your dogs on me if you wish, for I feel no guilt whatsoever. |
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| August 12 | The Big Update I get bugged a lot for updates and, actually, I find it to be something of a complement, so... thanks to those of you who have made a totaly annoyance of yourselves to me. It's good to feel loved. One reason you don't see a lot of updates right now is because I think I've bitten off more than I can chew. Between working on the back-end/business part of MacGamer, the front-end/content part, the video game I'm making and finishing up assignments for macHOME, I'm almost completely out of time to do anything else. As you can guess, this is having a direct impact on my ability to play Warhammer, and I'm not pleased. I can't tell you much about the back-end part of MacGamer because it's supposed to be secret. I can't tell you much about the video game because I haven't nailed down all the copyrights yet. I can't tell you much about macHOME except that I've already pretty much finished all of that. I guess that makes this entry a little dry, huh? What I can tell you, however, is that "macHOME" can be changed into "Macho Me" with one character space and some altered punctuation. The two weeks of Atkins dieting came to an end and I went off of it for a day. The following day, however, I decided to go back on it again. See, I was definitely losing weight; inside of two weeks I could comfortably fasten my belt one notch smaller than before. I've already received a few comments that I'm looking trimmer. I start up again with Aikido tomorrow night so that should probably get the juices flowing. What I can tell you is that I am sick to freakin' death of steak, chicken, eggs, cheese and cream. My breath constantly smells like the bottom of one of those cans you milk cows into. Don't even ask me what it's like going to the bathroom (I'll give you a hint: Imagine eating a pint of Plaster of Paris every day). These are the prices we pay for health, I suppose. If not health, then at least the ability to look good naked. |
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| August 12 | Math Yeah. I know that there are 1000 meters in a kilometer. Hope you all had a good laugh. The last math class I took was in grade nine and I passed with a 51. |
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| August 6 | I Am Canadian I was reading Brad Oliver's online diary (as I do every day) when I came across an entry he made about how Canada is weird. Brad was talking about how Canada has Chapters instead of Barnes and Noble (though we do have Indigo) and how speaking to me about it kind of gave him the jibblies because, as he says, "Corey is Canadian". I definitely don't take any offense to what he's said (my birth certificate does say I'm Canadian), but I just had to reply to a few things. That "alternate reality" feeling one gets when one visits Canada after having lived in the USA? I get that as well, just in the opposite direction. When I see beer or wine bottles in the corner store, I have to take pause and remind myself that it's legal in the US (and Quebec). When I see those Hostess treats (you know... the ones that are dripping with lard) on the shelf, I dimly remember seeing advertisements for them when I was a kid, but never having tasted one until my adulthood, when I started travelling to the USA. One thing I will defend is the Metric System. How fast do you go on the highway? 100 kilometers per hour. How many meters in a kilometer? 100. At what temperature does water freeze? 0 degrees celcius. At what temperature does it boil? 100 degrees celcius. When I go to the USA, it's 55 MPH to drive, I dunno how many yards in a mile, I can't recall what temperature water freezes at, etc. I must admit I do find it discouraging when I see a road sign that says "100 miles to (wherever)", which would normally mean an hour's travel time on a highway if it were kilometers, but... it ends up being considerably more than that. The thing I find kind of ironic is that it's called the "Imperial" system of measurement even though the Empire from whence it came is now using the Metric System. I know, however, that we're not talking about the cleverness of the system... but the comfort and familiarity of it. I was only suggesting that the Metric System isn't that hard to deal with if you can multiply and divide by tens. Brad also mentioned that "Canadians have alternate-reality candies, like Smarties . For whatever reason, these aren't available in the US, even though the Nestle corporation sees fit to ship most of their stuff here." What Brad forgot to mention is that Smarties are disgusting. Canadians eat M&Ms and the Smarties go stale. Maybe that's why they're disgusting. Who knows? Some other things that are kind of interesting: Americans have more drive-through ATMs than we do by, like, a factor of 10. The convenience of them is stellar. I wish we had more. Canadians eat less junk. When I go into a grocery store in the US, I see about 100X more junk food than I do in most Canadian stores, and many of the healthy options that I'm used to aren't available. Americans think Canadians like Brian Adams. Canadians think that it's the Americans who do. |
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| August 6 | A Smart Thing I Did My Macintosh laptop suffers from one really paintful malady; the wireless reception isn't so hot. See, for some reason Apple thought it'd be smart to put the antenna for the wireless card under the keyboard rather than along the side of the screen (like they did on the iBook). As a result, I can barely pick up anything. Well, no longer. I went right out today and picked up a Linksys somethingorother model wireless networking card, shoved it in the PCMIA slot (which is in the side, not under the keyboard – better reception) and never looked back. It was saucy old Peter Cohen who tipped me off to the idea, indicating that Apple had undocumented support for third party cards. Now, I know that article refers to 802.11g cards and this one is 802.11b, but it still works the same way. Admire, for a moment, the beauty of it though, will you? I put the card in the slot and did nothing else. No drivers to install. No settings to change. I didn't even have to remove the old Airport card. Now there's a little icon in my menu bar for the new card and I get powerful reception (notice the four black bars next to the speech bubble?). Now I have amazingly crisp and strong coverage in parts of the house I could never have accessed the internet from wirelessly before. My life is great. |
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| August 4 | Hard Target I live in a two story rowhouse apartment. On the ground floor there's a large kitchen with a very high ceiling and an attached dining room area which has both washer and dryer. There's a large living room down the hall, a large storage room, a mud room at the back and even a closet under the stairs. Upstairs, the master and children's bedrooms are side by side, each very large with a high ceiling. The bathroom is roomy and my office, though smaller than the other rooms, is a good 14'X14'. Add to this the steps on the front and the small patio-style area in the back, and you're talking about a fair amount of ground space... huge, really. I'm amazed, therefore, that when the cat has to throw up, as she just did, she can take the time to eschew every other square foot of my home and, ultimately, do it in my sandal. |
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| August 4 | Like A Fat Kid Going Up Five Flights Of Stairs This next bit is a little unsavory, so those of you who don't want to think about my bodily functions can stop reading right now. As for those of you who are left, I'd just like to say: Hi Colin! I've been on the Atkins diet for about 10 days. It's a diet where you cease eating all carbs, sugars and caffeine. After two or three weeks of this period where all you can eat is cream, meat, cheese, butter... that kind of thing, you can start introducing carbs once more (gradually). I'm a lot over the weight I know I'm supposed to be, so I'm doing this because I know it works for me. It doesn't work for everyone, but it definitely works for me, so I'm doing it (in addition to Aikido). Something strange is happening to me as a result, however; I can't stop sweating. It sound ridiculous, and seeing as we are having a mild heat wave right now it seems like that should be the culprit, but it isn't. I think it's the diet. I sweat a lot from things like walking up a flight of stairs or carrying a bag of groceries in from the car. These are all things which don't normally give me the sweats, but what can I say? It's like I'm Martin Sheen in Apocalypse Now or something. I realized today that it's my body getting rid of water weight. I didn't say that it was a pallatable finding, but for what it's worth... it's a good thing. I'm doing this for the purpose of dropping weight, so it's nice to know something is happening. Like I said, the Atkins diet is very effective for me, but I kinda wish I could just drop all that water weight at once while I'm in the shower so I don't have to look like Al Roker on a treadmill all the time. |
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| August 2 | About Packaging I have something to say about the Total Recall Special Limited Edition DVD that the public should know. Take a look at it. That round red thing is a tin can that the DVD is in. The can is round, like Mars, which is where the movie takes place. By making the can look like Mars, it brings the movie to mind. Get it? The part they should have put on the packaging which and didn't is the label saying: "Does Not Include Nuclear Warhead Required To Get The Lid Off". See, if I had read that when I was at Wal-Mart picking up the DVD then I would have also picked up a nuclear warhead on the same trip. Now I have to go out a second time to get one... either that or spend my night hammering the tin can against rocks and shelves and sidewalks trying to get it to open, as I have been doing for the last half hour. |
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| August 2 | My Impersonation Of A Typical Livejournal.com Diary Entry I haven't updated much lately. I've been pretty busy. Last night I got SO drunk! OMG it was hilarious! Dave and Jennifer were like "WTF?" and I was laughing my head off the whole time. I have to work today. Work totally sucks. I don't wanna go. Maybe I'll call in sick. My boss is a loser. Oh ya, I forgot the other day my mom came to visit. She is such a bitch. She was all like "Why don't you do this? Why don't you do that?" and I was like "Ok, whatever". I'm totally broke right now. I need to get some money. Going to go see that Tomb Raider movie tonight with Dave and Jen. I gotta go get some food. BBL. |
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| August 1 | Things To Blog About I was once discussing something with someone about blogs (or, as I prefer, "Online Diaries") and what was appropriate to post in them. The person I was speaking to replied "Post whatever you wish; it's YOUR blog". At that very microsecond I knew with unwavering certainty that she was mistaken about the nature of blogging, but it brings up a very interesting point. My name is on this particular web diary, but it's not a place where I let everything out. No blog or diary should really be like that if you intend to share it. The more eyes you want looking at it, the more you rope in those intincts to say whatever might be rolling around in your head. Example (and this is JUST a hypothetical example, so don't go getting any ideas): If I was having a problem with my mom where I thought she was, say, manic-depressive then it would be on my mind a lot, but I couldn't post it here. How in the world could I write something like "My mother has had one of her annoying bouts with manic-depression and it's really affecting my life adversely"? My first thought is: My mother is going to see this. Do I want her reading uncensored, unedited thought as it comes straight from my head (and, seeing as this is hypothetical, do I want my brother, best friend, kids or co-workers doing the same)? There's no way. It's not wise or mature to blast pure, undistilled feeling at someone. My next thought is: My mother's friends might read this. Do I want to say something that will prejudice them against her? Do I want to say something which will make her embarrassed because her social circles know that her son is peeved with her (rightly or wrongly)? No. That's not fair to her at all. Third, I also have to consider that my friends and acquaintences are reading about how much my mom is driving me nuts, which makes them form an opinion about *me*. Get the picture? It's just not right to subject people to *truly* uncensored blogging, whether they're the reader or the subject of the writing. For most of you this probably doesn't need to be said, but... it does go far to allay the notion that you can really get to know someone through reading their blog. That's worth keeping in mind. |
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| August 1 | The Tooth Fairy Ruth lost her first tooth yesterday. It was pretty awesome for her, as you can imagine, to lose a tooth. She said "It came out by me wiggling my tongue on it, and it didn't hurt one bit!" She spent the rest of the day ruminating on what would happen to the tooth and, most importantly, what the tooth fairy would bring her. Would it be money? Or some kind of present? She was very excited to see how it would turn out, "Even though I know it's not real", she'd whisper in my ear like a secret. I put 12 quarters into a little bag for shoving under her pillow as she slept. I figured at Ruth's age, having more coins is of greater value than having more money... and she could decide what to do with that money the following day. Would she spend it? Would she save it? These are the kinds of questions she loves to ponder. Late at night I crept into her room and sought the plastic baggie with a tooth in it that was shoved under her pillow, so I could put the little gift in to replace it. The problem was, the bag was nowhere to be found. She was dead asleep and there was no one I could ask about it, so I was feeling around her pillow and the edges of her bed. Still nothing. I realized the chance of it falling into the cracks beside the bed and the wall was high, so I'm thinking that I have to start digging in after it. It's much too dark, and I can't turn on a light or I'll wake her up. I think I have a flashlight, but I sure couldn't find it. I decided to try the light from my ipod, which is gentle but very bright. As I am about to march into her room with the little white and silver geegaw in my hand, I realize the batteries are dead. I grumpily march back into my office, put it on the cradle and grab my cell phone, which has a dim green backlight on the screen. There I am at 2 AM arched over my daughter's sleeping body like the Golden Gate Bridge, shoving my head down low to try and spot a baggie with a tooth in it somewhere along the edges of the bed or just under the mattress by shining a ~1 watt green light at it. After about 10 minutes of this uncomfortable, humiliating search effort, I decided to leave it till the next morning. If I couldn't find it, she wouldn't wake up and find it, so I figured it could wait until daylight. She loved the coins and all was well. |
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| July 31 | My Life... Or What's Left Of It Things have gotten pretty busy. The game has begun production. Some seed money has been received. I have been struck with that sickening feeling of trying to figure out what the hell I'm supposed to tell the team to do. I may try to have them wash my car and fix my back porch. I think the cat may also need brushing. We'll see if they go for it. MacGamer, God bless it, has been doing ok but I've been contributing less than usual. I've sort of had to back off for a bit for mental reasons (like I was ready to tear my hair out in bloody clumps) and also, hey... I was on vacation. That's all coming to an end, though; MacGamer is priority #1 for the next little while. macHOME has enlisted me to do some more writing as well. Three articles due Monday, three more in a few weeks. Even though I'm pretty swamped, I still find time to do some painting with my Warhammer stuff. Here's a close up of the piece that threw glue into my eyeball. We're still not on speaking terms. I will return to guitar. Just give me some time. |
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| July 26 | The Keeper Lives Remember the game I was talking about? The one I want to make, titled "The Keeper Of Error"? Well, up until now I've had programmers, modelers, artists, musicians, voice actors, writers and a publisher. As of now I have something I didn't have before: Money. I'll keep this short: We have an investor who is going to pay what we need to get Keeper to first playable state, and may also continue funding us after that. Monday marks day one in what might be as long as two years of development. Wish me luck. |
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| July 26 | I Am A Dumbass So today I glued my eye shut. You're probably going to read that once and think "He must be kidding" or "He must mean that figuratively" or something else which softens the impact of a statement which, invariably, proves I am a dumbass. Unfortunately, I meant it quite literally: Today I glued my left eyelid shut with Krazy Glue. Just in case you're interested, yes... it did really freaking hurt. I was gluing one of these together today. Yeah, there are a lot of jokes that can be made about me gluing together little spaceships (BTW that picture is a replica, kids; it's not a real spaceship), but in the interest of keeping the story moving I'm going to let the opportunity pass. Take a look at that long, flat cannon thing on the top; it's actually two even flatter pieces that are glued together. I was applying the Krazy Glue to it when it sort of slipped and flapped like a plastic ruler, thus catapulting a blob of Krazy Glue into my eyeball. I instantly screwed my eye shut out of reflex, and the glue did what it's most famous for: It bonded my eyelid shut instantaneously. As a side note, I'd like to say that wet Krazy Glue in the eye hurts like a motherf*#@%r. More on that later. I've come to know a little about how Krazy Glue works, and one thing I've learned is that - although it may bond instantly - it still takes a bit of time to really set. That time isn't long; it might be a few scant seconds, but I processed the information in my brain quickly and made a decision. That decision was to try prying my eyelid open with my fingers right away before the Krazy Glue really had a chance to do its thing. So... that's what I did and, yes, it did hurt like a motherf*#@%r. More on that later. I think I might have lost a couple eyelashes and there was definitely glue crust along the edges of the eyelids, but it wasn't anything too serious (serious being the actual removal of skin). Having the eye glue shut was a serious fear of mine, of course, and so I took small comfort in the fact that didn't happen. It was little consolation compared to the sensation of what it must like to pass a kidney stone through your eyeball, but it was comfort all the same. I managed to pick up the phone and call Sophie at her parents', telling her to come right away because I might have to go to the emergency ward and get this dealt with, and both kids were with me at the time. She complied, which was nice. I managed to get myself up to the bathroom and run some warm water, which I cupped with my hand and bent my face into so that a stready stream of H20 was pouring over my eye. I don't know what I thought this was going to do, but I had a vague recollection of reading that one should flush one's eye with warm water if one should be a big enough dumbass to get Krazy Glue into it. It did work in some way I'm still not sure of. I could tell that the glue was actually being washed away, even though it hurt like a motherf*#@%r. More on that later. I did not go to the emergency ward as I had originally planned. When Sophie showed up, I showed her my throbbing red eyeball, explained what happened and, when she realized that I was no longer in clear and present danger (and, more importantly, that she was not urgently required for child care), she left. I did think that I would have to go, but by the time I had run some water through it I knew that there wouldn't be any need; the eyelid was open, the crusty crap was washed away and the pain was starting to subside, slowly calming from "hurting like a motherf*#@%r" to "hurting like hell" to just plain "hurts pretty bad", finally to "Ouchy". Now, about 12 hours later, it just has that tender, slightly bruised feeling which is realistic to expect after prying your own eyelids open, washing hardened, crystalized glue from your eyeball and rinsing it with about ten jug-fulls of warm water. I consider myself lucky. I got relatively little sympathy. Sophie, for one, was like "Are you going to die? No? Ok, I'm going back to my parents' place". I told Aaron later and he said something to the effect of "You KNOW that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard" or something. I also told Jonny, who guessed that it was a Warhammer-related injury before I barely began telling him. Chris Barylick, one of the MacGamer writers, told me that I was some kind of stupid masochist. Kris sorta summed it all up with "WHAT THE F*CK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" So what did I learn from today's emergency? Simple: After you glue your eye shut while painting Warhammer toys, don't tell anyone. |
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| July 24 | Game Reviews This is a review of a game called "Bugdom 2". It's from Pangea Software and involves running about as a bug named Skip trying to survive in the hostile world of a suburban back yard. This review is unique because it's written by my daughter. At the time she was 5 years old. This is verbatim: Well the flies punch us. One time I saw that I found a big robot and I sent one of my bees to it and it didn't work with that bee but then I sent another one and it beated him. Well we have to run around and in that airplane daddy knocked out of it. The frogs were jumping up but they couldn't go up as high as you because you were really high. So. Well. Then he was driving down the surface and you have to skip all the acorns and leafs so that you dont fall PTh! on your face. And daddy made it to the bottom. But when they're breaked there's no more pine cones. We untrap the mice and one time I was in the water and it was going up up up. I was in a little bit of water but I wouldnt dance in the water. I was in a garbage can. Water in the garbage can. Well, that's pretty much it. We flied out of it. With a airplane. We found the pinwheel to go around and around and we found the wheels so it could Whhoooo! fly. Shheew! Then the flies made us fall. To make him fly he has wings. To make him fly sommetimes you run out of blueberries. Blueberries make you fly. Butterflies give you blueberries and sometimes something like a special bubble. Because sometimes, pretend this is a guy and this is a bubble, something like a spiderweb, and he's walking p! p! p! p! and there's a guy and he's going to punch it, POP POP POP but its not going to touch him because he's in a bubble. And sopmetimes they have a needle, and they throw it onto the bubble and he doesn't get hurt. That's all. |
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| July 23 | Driving In Ottawa, which is the area where I live, they say there are four seasons: Winter, Winter, Winter and Construction. About this time of year the 417 highway is reduced to two lanes at several points. I don't have a problem with this except for the antisocial behavior it brings out of people. Instead of me writing it up, I'm going to let you see what my buddy Vedder said recently, as his feelings are mine (language rated PG): "Now, in general, the volume of cars on the road at the time I drive on them could easily be handled by two lanes. So when three lanes merge down to two, it, in a perfect world, would make very little difference to the overall speed and flow of traffic." |
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| July 18 | Children Not many of you will understand what I'm about to say, but that's alright; there's no law saying you have to. We all find our peace and love and perfection and accomplishment and beauty in various places, and that's how it's meant to be. Having said that, I must tell you all that I cannot picture anything more beautiful than the sight of two sleeping children. Before I was a father I would frequently hear that you can't tell what it's like to be a parent until you are one. Guess what? That's the absolute truth. Before I was a father, I didn't even know what "love" or "beauty" was. I thought I did, but the words have been redefined with such increased clarity and scope that I wonder what I used to think those things were. Not all of you will understand and some of you might not even agree, but this is my diary and I'm telling it like it is: The love you feel for your children is one of if not the most purely happy things you'll ever feel in your life. I highly recommend it. |
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| July 18 | Critic's Corner Pirates Of The Carribbean is a pretty darn good movie. League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen, however, is not. |
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| July 17 | My Stupid Cat Is Driving Me Out Of My Freaking Mind I knew that the cat would be lonely while I was away on vacation. I was prepared for that. She's a very needy cat and without someone around to pester I can't see her doing very well. At the same time, I'm not going to let the cat keep me from doing normal stuff like going on vacation, so she just had to do with the neighbour coming in once a day and feeding her. Since returning, the cat has been mental. She will not stop meowing. You might look at me saying "She will not stop meowing" and think that I'm exaggerating, but I'm really not. She has meowed so much that she's, literally, hoarse. When she meows, she sounds like Harvey Fierstein. It doesn't matter what you do. Pat her, talk to her, feed her, whatever. She keeps on meowing without end. She also likes to sit on me while I'm typing. Having her too close is kind of a chore given that I'm mildly allergic to cats anyhow, but she insists on getting up on my lap and trying to shove her whole wedge-like head up my nostril while I work. Also, the meowing continues. After giving it much thought, I've decided to make the cat inject marijuana. I'm going to go talk to those kids who ride skateboards right outside my home at all hours of the day and night. I'm going to ask the one whose pants are worn lowest about where I can buy some marijuana. I will then hold the cat in my arms and, every time she opens her yap to meow, I will shove a pinch of marijuana in there. Once she is sufficiently chilled out, I will put her on the sofa and place a few unwrapped twinkies next to her for when she wakes up. |
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| July 17 | Horror Story When I was a kid I used to love chocolate milk. I used to drink it all the time, every chance I got. There was a think that Nestle (or was it Hershey?) did for a short while in the late 70's where they'd sell chocolate milk in cans. Obviously that wasn't a marketing miracle because you don't see that anymore (just like you don't see cherry or grape flavored potato chips anymore, but that's a post for another time). Milton, Ontario, Summer, 1978: I had a can of chocolate milk and I opened that bad boy up and started to chug. It was a great moment until I felt something in my mouth that definitely wasn't chocolate milk. I reached in with two fingers and pulled from my lips a ball of dead flies , all stuck together as if they were glued, about the size of a peach pit. When I informed the company that made the product, they sent me a case of canned chocolate milk to make amends. Alas, I had no inspiration to drink any of it. |
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| July 16 | This One's For Colin Colin from Freeverse Software dropped me a line recently. He said that my blog "is my only regular read with at least the prospect of novelty. I'll even take an ear-cheese post." Wow. Kinda hard to turn down a request for ear cheese. I must admit that I don't have anything on the ready, but if I happen to come up with something, he'll be the first person I ask. So yeah, I'm back from vacation. Did it rock? Yeah, mon. It definitely did. Again, you won't see me listning every single detail here. None of you care that much (it's ok, I'm not hurt. Really). I'll hit a few of the main points, though. Massachusetts is more lovely than most people realize. Driving down those divided highways with lush, thick, green foliage on either side is a sight to behold. You really have to be jaded for it not to impress you. I do have to add that a lot of Americans are really fat. Hey, not all Americans are fat. I didn't say that. A lot of Canadians are too. Hey, even I'm in the market to lose a good chunk of flab. I'm not being critical. Honest. I will say, however, that I couldn't help but notice the high flab content. Seriously. Some of you folks totally need to get ahold of yourselves. I stopped at a service center (restaurant, gasoline, convenience store, etc) and I couldn't get over how fat everyone was. The thing is, the fat people weren't even interested in making themselves look any better by choosing their clothes carefully or trying to add some style. One guy, maybe about 55, had a nice big baseball cap on that said "A Bad Day Of Fishin' Is Better Than A Good Day At Work" with a big picture of a fish on it. The cap was bright orange, like the kind of orange hunters wear when they're out in the wild and they don't want other dumbass hunters blowing their heads off. He had the kind of sunglasses with the lens part that flips up. He wore them up, kind of like a point of pride. In other words, it was as if those flipped up lenses were his idea of über cool. You know how firemen will sometimes wear their visor up when they're wearing those helmets? It's kinda like that. Except not cool. The shirt? A T shirt of course. Lime green. Some slogan on it. I forget. The part that really had me wondering came next. The shorts were unremarkable. I don't remember them, to be honest. The part I found hard to fathom was the socks. Sure, there were socks and sandals together, where are a full-on red-light no-no when it comes to any kind of seasonal footwear. The thing is, the socks were flesh colored. It was as if he was attempting to make it look as if he wasn't wearing socks by wearing socks that are intended to blend into the rest of his skin. Of course, the flesh colored socks are not even close to the color of the skin above them, but the attempt was being made none the less. Ok. I covered the part about fat Americans. I guess if you're fat, try to offset the image with some taste in clothing. Actually, truth be told, I don't think I know what I'm talking about anymore. Ok, where was I? Cape Cod on the 4th of July. That's a beautiful thing. The Ocean is awesome. There will be more entries, I think. For now, I'm done. Check tomorrow if you're eager. |
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| June 11 | Lack Of Updates I just haven't felt like writing. |
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| June 6 | Sakes Alive, It's The Friday Five Friday Five. You know how this works. 1. How many times have you truly been in love? Enough to know you can't tell her that her ass is, in fact, fat... regardless of what she says. 2. What was/is so great about the person you love(d) the most? She's always willing and able to change and grow... and she doesn't need me to babysit her. 3. What qualities should a significant other have? Fresh, minty breath. 4. Have you ever broken someone's heart? Yes. Peter Cohen's. By saying "We're out of bacon" 5. If there was one thing you could teach people about love, what would it be? See #1. |
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| June 5 | I Busted My Dolly I broke the little scythe off my Warhammer C'Tan Nightbringer. I am so disappointed in myself for letting it bother me. God, I'm lame. Go ahead. Make fun of me. I deserve it. |
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| June 5 | The Sincerest Form Of Flattery Notice the new "Hear, Feel, See, Eat, Think, Go" thing up above? I have über-smartygurl Kris Boyer to thank for the idea. Hope she doesn't mind me teefin' it. |
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| June 5 | And Another Thing... I got my Aikido gi tonight. In case you don't know, that's the uniform... the white pyjamas? Ok. Well, I've done three different martial arts and have had three gis, and this one is by far the most beautiful. There's an embroidered pattern to the top (all white, but it looks awesome) and it's reinforced in the knees and elbows. An honor to wear it. Here's a link to the place I got it from, but unless you like seeing this: Microsoft OLE DB Provider for SQL Server error '80040e09'...don't bother clicking. FYI there will not be a photo of me wearing it. Ever. |
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| June 5 | Whatever And Ever, Amen I'm not really much in the mood to update this thing lately. Not in the mood to write much, so I'll be brief. I'm checking out Livejournal right now as an option for my online diary, but I'm wary. Opinions are welcome. I don't wanna do something lame, and Livejournal might be just that. It's just so *easy* that I'm tempted. There are ants in my house. Ants. What is this? Papau New Guinea? Better than Tarantulas, I suppose. I am seriously interested in starting stand-up comedy. I've even written a monologue. Now to try and figure out... is it funny? I've started doing Aikido. I'm sore, but I love it. More Warhammer, and I feel kinda nerdy about it. Yeah, I'm hooked. What's worse, you can all review my diary to see my gradual descent into madness. Mom is gone. Back in Israel. I made some promises in my diary a while back (in particular about the birthday cards). I'll make good on them sooner or later, don't worry. Life is good. I'm lucky because, you know what? Life is always good. More when I feel like it. |
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| June 2 | Nice Days Like The One We're Having Always Make Me Want To Have A Long Nap On A Hammock So sleepy... so very sleepy... |
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| June 2 | Point Form Update - Today == busy - Weekend was great - MacGamer getting a little spit and polish - Crystal Method's album "Tweekend" is great! - Too busy to write. Back later. |
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| May 31 | This Weekend I was going to do a bunch of writing this weekend, but that probably won't happen. My buddy Aaron came up and is spending it with me (thanks to the kind efforts of my woman, with whom he conspired) and it's awesome. We've already partaken of Vietnamese Pho Tai soup, lots of great coffee, CD shopping, The Matrix Reloaded and, yes, Warhammer (a story well worth telling, believe me). I'm having yet another ass-kicking time... maybe Monday. Seeya! |
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| May 30 | Fore! I can't believe it's been a week since I went down to Rochester. Time moves pretty fast, doesn't it? Anyhow, I forgot to tell you one of the best parts: Ved, Pig and One (Dave, Dave and Kris) took me out to a driving range. That's right... as in Golf. I've never, ever done real Golf. I've never had the interest, actually, but there are a lot of young, hip people who do it I guess. It's even been about 10 years (maybe more) since I've done mini-Golf. Now, I do have to say that when I played mini-Golf I would nail that ball into the clouds, but obviously wasn't the point of that particular game. Anyhow, that aside, I found myself on a driving range in Rochester. At the time it seemed like one of those things that was just an off-the-cuff idea that just came out of nowhere. I reconsidered that understanding when we arrived at the there and Pig, Ved *and* Kris already had their clubs in the trunk. I realized that a trip to the driving range had always been part of the day's plan. I'm not bad at this golf swinging thing. I whacked about 20 or 30 balls and I would say that about five of them were respectible. Most of them bounced off the ground not ten meters away from me. A scant few basically traveled directly into the ground. I did swing once and miss the ball completely. That was sort of embarrassing. Kris maintains that I swing better than she does, but that's definitely not so. I did nail a few good ones, but I'm not a better golfer than she is. Vedder would knock one about 150 yards, say "that sucks" and then do another one. Like a lot of the things he does in his life. Pig is a *monster* with the Golf club. It's quite awe inspiring. In person he's quiet and definitely somewhat reserved in some ways, but when he gets the nine iron in his hands he takes no prisoners. Kris, his wife, agrees with me. We were talking about his swing on ICQ and she said this: but isn't it BEAUTIFUL!? and so serious, and so powerful.. and so....Newlyweds. You know how it is. |
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| May 30 | Enough Already I get a lot of spam email. I mean a LOT. Today, I finally got the one that made me want to weep openly. The subject line is: You and your COLON. "Colon" in capitals, just like that. WILL YOU PEOPLE LEAVE ME AND MY COLON ALONE? GOD! |
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| May 30 | Wild Turkeys In Massachusetts I work for this guy named Rob. He lives in a town called Hopkinton. Once, about a year ago, he sent me this email that had me scratching my head. Here's an excerpt. BTW - Guess what happened to me yesterday? I got chased by a wild turkey on my front lawn - no joke. I got home, stepped out of my truck and saw this thing on the lawn and couldn't figure out what it was (looked like a turkey but I thought "naw, turkeys don't live around here"), so I got closer to see what it was and it turned around I yelled "holy shit, it is a fuckin turkey!" and it started chasing me, if I'd taken any longer to unlock my door it probably would have caught up to me. Uhh... |
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| May 30 | Dos Friday Five Here we go again. These questions don't seem to suck like last week's did, so I'll answer them. 1. What do you most want to be remembered for? My kindness. Do I have some? I'm working on it... but if I was to be remembered for anything, I'd like it to be that. 2. What quotation best fits your outlook on life? "There is nothing wrong in what a man does, but there is something wrong with what he becomes. It is well to remember that." I believe that's Oscar Wilde. 3. What single achievement are you most proud of in the past year? I believe it might be my ongoing work with MacGamer, or maybe my ability to bring in some serious cash here in the household... but most important of all I think I'm most proud of raising two really beautiful children. 4. What about the past ten years? Coming to the realization that I'm perfectly good the way I am. 5. If you were asked to give a child a single piece of advice to guide them through life, what would you say? "Be kind; everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" Thank you for that one, Steve. |
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| May 29 | Birthday Cards And Stuff I got a collection of really great birthday cards from lots of different people (some of you are sick, troubled people by the way). I'll make a little gallery of them here soonish. |
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| May 28 | Aw, Geez. Another professional story from the crack team of journalists at MacGamer. |
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| May 28 | Thanks, Petey! Best. Birthday card. Ever. |
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| May 28 | iTunes 4.0.1 Goes Straight To The Top Of My "Blow Me" List If you are a Mac user and you use the control panel called "Software Update", you'll get a notice that there's a new version of iTunes (4.0.1). There's even a little message that goes with it, letting you know what it's all about: iTunes is the only software you'll ever need to build & manage your music collection on your Mac.Gosh. That's nice. Those people at Apple are working really hard on enhancing iTunes by... (re-reading) ...um... (re-re-reading) ...removing features. See, version 4.0 can share music over the internet. In other words, if you have iTunes 4.0 and I have iTunes 4.0, then you can actually stream music right off of my Mac onto yours and listen to it – over the internet, no less. No joke. You can't copy my music, per se (well, not without some hacking), but who cares? You're already listening to it. Now, with iTunes 4.0.1 you can only share music with people on the same local network (in other words, your house). This is being done, no doubt, to discourage piracy – which is something Apple is concerned about because their deal with the record companies to allow them to do their music buying thing and stuff. Naturally they don't want to piss off the music companies (God love them). You wouldn't want to make it look like piracy might occur; the music companies could go from making billions and billions of dollars to making... er... billions of dollars. iTunes 4.0.1, then, offers only this one new feature: You now can do less with it. Believe it or not, that's not the part that bothers me. It's the Orwellian language in that little note I quoted above. It's the downright sinful manipulation of words to make it seem like you're being offered a great new update when, in fact, this update is for Apple; not you. It's the language which strokes the mad dog's head softly as it slips the collar around its neck. It's the saccharine spewing of PR bilge about how much iTunes loves you, and you love it, and how good it is to use iTunes and how lucky we are now that we have iTunes and this version of iTunes is even better because that pesky problem was removed (the one that let you share music over the internet) and, oh, by the way, we're also going to list a bunch of features that iTunes already had in the effort to make it seems as if there's something new in this update. In short, it's the way Apple is trying to convince us that this update to iTunes, in some way, makes iTunes better for us when, in fact, it's meant to control what we do. Speaking of Orwell and his book, 1984; protagonist Winston Smith said, "don't piss in my mouth and tell me it's victory gin." |
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| May 28 | Birthday I don't mind being 34. I like being 34. I do think, however, that when I get to 35 that'll depress me. We'll worry about that next year. |
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| May 27 | Friday Five Here's this week's Friday Five! 1. What brand of toothpaste do you use? 2. What brand of toilet paper do you prefer? 3. What brand(s) of shoes do you wear? 4. What brand of soda do you drink? 5. What brand of gum do you chew? You know, I'm just reading this over and I'm thinking: Do any of you care at all about what my answers to these questions are? I didn't think so. Even I don't care what they are. I think we'll skip this week. |
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| May 27 | It's My Birthday Tomorrow Tomorrow is my birthday. I have this weird feeling about it. I feel like it's a checkmark on my calenday, so I should be buying something, or making sure I make a particular call or planning a particular event or planning things. For some reason I feel as if it's something I'm supposed to be taking care of. I feel as if it's something I'm supposed to be responsible for. It's a gut thing that's happening, this persistent notion that my birthday is just another thing on my list of things to do. But I don't actually have to do anything, do I? I just have to let it come to me, right? I just wait for others to ply me with birthday wishes and gifts and stuff. I don't actually have to be responsible, right? I'm not actually responsible for it, right? Man, I need a vacation. |
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| May 27 | Grilled Cheese Sammich Making Seeing as I have a 2000 word article due in about... (checking watch)... four minutes, and I have another 2000 words due for tomorrow, I thought this would be a good time for me to write a little about how to make a great grilled cheese sammich. Bread really matters. Don't use Wonderbread or any variation thereof. That stuff was intended to be used for packing stereos in, not actually for human consumption. Get good bread. Grainy bread. Slice it nice and thick. The ideal for this procedure is the George Foreman Grill. You could use a pan, but that requires some kind of butter or nonstick spray or something. If at all possible, avoid that stuff because it really ruins the sammich, but... if you gotta do it, you gotta do it. Just don't come crying to me if it's unremarkable when you're done. Cheddar cheese. If you're planning to use individually-wrapped slices of processed cheese, you can just stop here. There's nothing I can do to help you. If you're ok to get a block of *old* cheddar (mild is for the weak), then we can continue. Slice enough slices to cover the bread. This should be somewhat elementary, I realize, but it's worth mentioning. Make the slices somewhat thick... don't be stingy. It's a grilled cheese sandwich after all; give the cheese a chance to shine. The cheese slices should be roughly as thick as a typical pencil is thick. I like to add sliced tomato. Nice tomato. Not bad tomato. Hard, nasty tomato is no good. Fresh, garden tomato is what you want. Roma tomatoes are fine as long as you don't slice them too thick. Take some pride in the tomato. You wouldn't build a Jaguar out of the best possible parts, only to put bad tires on it, would you? Of course not. Scatter rosemary upon the sammich. Like on the inside, stoopit. The grilling begins. This is the part where it ceases to be science and becomes an art instead. The bread can't become too brown. It's gotta be crisp and lovely. On the other hand, you can't take the sammich off the grill until the cheese is starting to *seriously* melt. You don't just want the cheese to start getting soft; it should be losing it's shape and turning into goo. This makes it soak into the bread and it makes for a nicer texture when you bite. It's just better. Don't ever question me on this point. The GF grill will definitely get it to the point where the bread is as it should be and the cheese is as well. If you're doing it in the pan, you want to keep the heat somewhat low (medium is good). Too high and your bread will go dark too early and you'll get a black sammich with cold, cubic slices of cheese, and that is all kinds of wrong. You can eat this sammich with ketchup if you like, but because the rosemary introduces a lovely, subtler taste of its own you don't HAVE to augment it. I rarely do. It goes well with a cola or even a glass of milk. I usually make two when I'm hungry. Your mileage may vary. |
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| May 27 | Holy Crap I just got a credit card. Never thought THAT would happen. Gee. |
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| May 26 | Food This was the kind of weekend where I ate a lot of the kind of thing I don't usually eat and very much enjoyed eating it, but won't likely eat anything like it again for quite some time. I did drive down to Rochester with a burger in my hand and a giant cup of root beer to go with it. Also, I think I had a few coffees, one of which was from Dunkin Donuts, which I had only because Vedder says that it's the best coffee in the world. Guess what? He's wrong. It's swill. What's "swill"? Here's what dictionary.com says: n. A mixture of liquid and solid food, such as table scraps, fed to animals, especially pigs; slop. Kitchen waste; garbage. A deep draft of liquor. Nonsense; rubbish. On Saturday I partook (partaked? Something) of one amazing barbecue. Corn, beans, chicken, turkey, hot dogs, salad... it was all there. It reminded me of when I was in Austin Texas and I tried to partake of a barbecue there as well. Canadians understand the word "Barbecue" differently than Texans do, for one thing. I had my chicken in a neat little zone on the plate, my beans in another and my salad in a third. Gravy was conservatively applied to the chicken, but nothing else. I then tried my best to eat it politely with a plastic knife and fork. My Texan friends got a look at this and laughed at me and the product of my tough toilet training that I had become. They took my plate from me, applied more chicken, potatoes, sausage and then gravy all over the whole thing. I was then ordered to eat it without cutlery. Best damn meal I think I've ever had... ever. This was like that, except that I made a mess of it from the outset and didn't even bother reaching for the fork and knife. The next day I was taken by Kris, Dave and Ved to have a Rochester delicacy known as a "Garbage Plate". This name isn't actually all that far from the truth, as far as your heart is concerned. Two cheeseburgers without buns, fries, macaroni salad, meat sauce, bread and maybe even mustard all gathered in one steaming pile. Was it good? Yeah, it was delicious, but... it's not supposed to be one of those "refreshing" meals. We all left the restaurant feeling as if concrete had been poured directly into your digestive tracts. Finally I got myself a box of Krispy Kreme donuts – the best donuts I've ever eaten. You can say that Tim Horton's has a good donut, but unfortunately you'd be flat wrong. Their donuts are garbage. Krispy Kreme makes a donut like it's something you're supposed to be in love with. Well, I am. It was a good chaser to the garbage plate which, in turn, was a good chaser for the BBQ on Sat. night. Today I didn't feel so good. |
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| May 26 | Dis-Freakin'-Gusting When I go over the border between Canada and the USA, I remove my earrings. I do this in an effort to avoid getting strip-searched and deported to India. Laugh if you wish, but the heat has been on in the USA since you-know-when. What with me looking so Arabic and everything, I thought I'd be a little careful. Even before Sept 11, I've spent a lot of time being pulled aside with all the other hippies to spend a fun-filled hour opening my luggage and turning my socks inside-out. If I ever decide to embrace a career change and to start selling heroin in the USA, I will take out my earrings, get a nice shave, wear a tie and put Kenny G on the stereo before I cross the border. Anyhow, this isn't the story I was going to tell you, but I almost forgot to write about this: As you all know, I run MacGamer. I get to the border and the guy says the usual... "Where ya goin'? Why? Bringing X, Y or Z with you? What do you do?" ...and this is where it starts to unravel. Border guard with bad moustache: So what do you do for a living? Me: I'm an editor. Border guard with bad moustache: You're a what? Me: Editor. Border guard with bad moustache: A what? Me: Editor-in-chief of an online magazine. Border guard with bad moustache: An online magazine? Me: Yes. Border guard with bad moustache: What magazine would that be? Me: It's called MacGamer. Border guard with bad moustache: MacGamer? As in Macintosh? Me: Yes. Border guard with bad moustache: (puzzled look) They make games for the Macintosh? Me: Man. You're killing me here. He actually makes me take out my business card to show him, and he suspects that I'm lying, because he doesn't believe there are any games for the Macintosh. It's like talking to someone from GameSpy for crying out loud. I'm like "Why don't you just kick me in the balls while you're at it?" Anyhow, on with the story. So I took out my earrings and put them back in later that night. The left one had a little re-entry problem, though. I kinda poked something in there that didn't really want to be poked. Then the trouble began. Here's the part where I issue a rather important warning: If you don't want to be completely disgusted and grossed out, stop reading right here. The little earring hole is infected, but in a way I've never seen before. Yes, there's pus... but it's not the usual consistency or color of pus. It's not like hand-lotion consistency and it's not white. It's more like puke green mixed with leaden grey (no doubt from the silver earring). Unlike a good spot of fresh blood which can be vibrant and robust, this pus is dim and disgusting, like blue cheese only in a place it's not supposed to be (my ear). When I squeeze the lobe, it comes in a thick column that is all too ready to just hop out. It's very dense (again, kinda like blue cheese) and I can wipe it off the lobe with the tip of my finger. I don't wanna do that, though; the smell of this stuff is absolutely deplorable. I mean dag-freakin'-nasty. Stomach-turning. No joke... I will NOT touch this stuff. I don't want it on me, that's for sure. I use a Kleenex to remove it. I guess the punchline is that because of Osama Bin Laden, my ear is now oozing the most disgusting substance I've ever encountered in my entire life. |
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| May 26 | 860 Kilometers Later... It was a great weekend. Aside from the graduation festivities (long and, yes, somewhat boring, but it was a thrill to see my brother and his wife graduate and I got to wear a really nice tie), I got to spend an absolutely awesome night with my family and some friends at a BBQ. My grandparents came down from Hamilton, Ontario, which was really nice considering that they know sign language and, at 80 and 82, a trip like that isn't just something you do on an impulse. Hard to pick a "best moment" of the weekend. It was all so good. I think the highlight was definitely when my mom asked me "What's the phone number for 911?" I'm not even kidding. She was actually trying to ask whether or not the USA uses "911" for emergencies just like Canada does, but the question caught me off guard. I nearly replied "Not now, mom... I'm trying to figure out how to spell FBI". I finally met Kris and Dave, also known as One and Piggy (don't ask). That was a truly excellent visit. On Sunday the little trio was augmented by the presence of Mr. Dave Vedder, which made it even merrier. Instead of summing the whole thing up in one post, I'm going to add entries as I remember stuff. A lot happened this w'end, and a lot of it was definitely worth telling everyone about. Keep an eye on this page for details... |
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| May 23 | Yet Another Trip My brother graduates tomorrow from the Rochester Institute of Technology with a Master's in Fine Arts (specializing in industrial design), and his wife, Julie, just happens to be graduating on the same day. I'm leaving in about two hours (roughly 11:00 AM EST) and will be back Sunday night. I might update my diary while in Rochester, but don't count on it. I'll be too busy doing all the awesome nightlife stuff that Rochester is known for, such as eating deep fried food, inhaling car exhaust and possibly welding. |
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| May 22 | Mr. Big Today while I was out on the town I stopped into Games Workshop. I no longer feel in danger of buying any Warhammer stuff there because I know that if my will should break and I absolutely cannot live without making more of a geekass dork out of myself, that I can buy it on Ebay for a lot cheaper than they sell it in the store. I was just in there to tease the nerds and look at some of the toys that cost more than my monthly rent. Also, I just happened to be passing by – for real this time, not like the other day when I intentionally took my mom to the hair dresser's next door just so I could go in and look at dice. Anyhow, one of the things that really struck me about Games Workshop is that they have "regulars". I'm not normally around long enough to notice this, but today I saw some people I know I'd seen more than once before in here. It also slowly (and painfully) dawned on me that they were likely looking at me thinking the same thing. It's the regulars that really make me want to forget about Warhammer forever. We've covered this before; comb-over dorkoids who say things like "When you're ready to have a serious discussion about The Green Lantern, you have my email address". This one guy really struck me though. He was huge. By "huge", I mean "fat", in case you were thinking I was somehow referring to his personality or something. This was not just "I was born with a heavy body type" fat. This was "I was born with Orca's body type", and then indulged 25 years of mashed potatoes in chocolate sauce, washed down by mayonnaise. The guy looked around the entire store rather deliberately. He was humorless and solemn. He was also wearing track pants. Those of you who knows my thoughts on really, really fat people wearing track pants can fill in the blanks where my opinion is concerned. The part that kinda got to me was that I was almost convinced he was giving off some kind of odor. By "odor", I don't mean "pine" or "pot pourri". By "odor" I mean "damn, kid... change that shirt and wash your hair before I can wax the car with your head". I didn't really believe what I was smelling, to be honest. Sometimes you get a smell in your head and it can be anything; some chemical in the rug, some wet paint somewhere, something that might have been pitched in the trash or even your imagination. I was hesitant to admit I thought it was this guy in particular; partly in disbelief that anyone could wear the funk that bad and not do anything about it, and partly because... well, actually it was all that first thing. Anyhow, Mr. Big bought some stuff and went on his way. He wasn't out of the door for more than an entire sixty seconds before the manager came out from the back with a can of air freshener, blasting away a cloud of "Lilac Mist" in every direction. Not only were my suspicions that it was the fat guy making that smell confirmed, but I was actually enlightened to the horrifying realization that this happens regularly, and that a can of Lilac Mist is kept on hand just for days when he visits. The manager, Nick, then explained to me that this guy was definitely a regular and that he (and his brother, reportedly) smell just as bad every single time they come in. He then went on to tell me that the two of them spend about $600 on Warhammer every two weeks. Again... $600 on Warhammer ever two freakin' weeks. This was one of those occasions I'd heard about but never really seen an example in action: You know how sometimes folks theorize that some people serve no purpose in life except to serve as a warning to others? I think I just witnessed just such a person and, believe you me, I consider myself warned. |
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| May 22 | Present I just asked Vedder what kind of present I should buy my brother for his graduation, which I am attending this weekend in Rochester. He said "A degree in art? Get him a paper hat with a yellow 'M' on it" |
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| May 21 |
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| May 21 | Blog Of The Future Yeah, I know I wrote "May 23" below. I have a deadline for MacHOME that day and it seems to be the only date I can think of right now. |
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| May 21 | GBOSS There's this dork on GameRanger who recently got banned by Scott kevill (aka Evill) for being a complete brainless twerp, and when he was everyone sighed in relief as the air cleared of him. Later I got this in an email from him. It's not edited in any way, incidentally. This is exactly what he sent me: Whats up can you help me? I need your help is something really i was banned 3 months i need you to take me back ask evill to just mute me for 3 months i will change my name and for the others i will be banned pls man 3 months are tooo much even for me if you dont mind i will be happie the only thing i want si to play at gr gboss is just a character is just a name the real me only want to play if ya can help mei will be happie ANSWER ME I got one word for GBOSS: Killfile. |
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| May 23 | Advice Corner, With Your Host: Peter Cohen (Regarding my "Pass The Advil" post – this is from Peter Cohen on AIM tonight): Peter: donuts need more meat in them Peter: like, pulled pork crullers Peter: and barbeque chicken frosted donuts Peter: I think you shoudl give up the kids and the sex partner |
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| May 20 | Tough Guys Aaron looked at that pic of the Warhmmer players I linked a few days back and said "Sure, they look pretty intimidating as a group, but you get them one on one and I'll bet they're not that tough." |
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| May 20 | Serenslipdipity Today I picked up the phone and gave Aaron a ring because I was feeling kind of out-of-sorts and he always gives me a little pick-me-up. So I get him on the phone and I'm like "I got nothin' much to say. Just calling to check in, touch base, that kinda thing" and he says "yeah, that's what I was doing" but I didn't quite understand what he meant so whatever, and we chat for about 20 minutes. After I get off the phone I check my messages and it turns out he had called and left a message right before I called him, and he was just wanting to check in, etc. etc. So in some strange way, knowing that we were both looking to chat at the same time was the pick-me-up I was looking for. |
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| May 20 | Not So Much Like The Matrix; More Like Orwell I honestly don't think people are scared enough about certain things, and issues pertaining to DRM (Digital Rights Management). My buddy Vedder pointed me at this article about an Anti-Internet Party Caucus in the USA. To summarize quickly, the idea is that the Recording Industry Association of America (the RIAA) and the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) doesn't like you downloading their stuff. They like it so little, in fact, that they want the ability to get into your computer, decide whether or not they think you're pirating, and take it upon themselves to issue punishment if they think you are. What's more, they want to limit the use of the music you own by, for instance, letting you play a certain song only so many times before you have to pay for it again, or making it impossible to rip your own CDs to MP3 format, or making it impossible to burn certain kinds of media to writeable CDs. American congress seems to be letting this stuff happen, which is bad news for you because your computer will then legally be available to the RIAA/MPAA for inspection, and you'll have to suffer the consequences if you're found breaking their rules. Here's some stuff to chew on: - This guy who's spearheading the caucus was a motivating factor behind a bill last year that would authorize copyright holders (meaning the RIAA) to actually disable a computer used for illicit file-trading. Let me be a bit clearer on this: The copyright holder would be able to reach into your PC and lock you out of it for downloading, say, Justin Timberlake over Kazaa. - Another fella involved is a certain Adam Smith, who is aggressively anti-Linux (which, in my mind, is like being anti-average-person-having-any-intelligence-whatsoever. It really is). He calls the GNU General Public License (which for those of you who don't know, is what keeps Linux free and open to people who want to improve it) a threat to America's innovation and security. Let me, once more, put a finer point on it: He's saying that Linux is a threat to innovation, despite the fact that anyone who can program is welcome to bring their ideas directly to the code without infringing copyright, and that it's a threat to security despite being the most secure operating system you can run a network with. Microsoft can't boast either of these things, but that's a discussion for some other time when I have all day to type. I don't see anything like this necessarily happening in Canada. The climate is a lot different here about stuff like that and the RIAA/MPAA certainly would have a hard time getting the Canadian government to give a damn about where their royalties are going, but still... this is a sobering concept and I hope people don't hesitate to take a little time to check out the implications. |
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| May 20 | Don't Read This If You Haven't Seen The Matrix Reloaded Yet Remy pointed me at this article, called "Corporate Mofo Reloads The Matrix"... After the requisite battles and explosions, Neo gets into the Core and finds The Architect. Considering that The Architect built the Matrix, you might think that he's God. Of course, he's nothing of the sort. In Gnostic theology, it is Satan, not God, who has created the world in order to imprison humanity. It is also the Architect who is unleashing the Sentinels to destroy Zion; that is, beginning the Battle of ArmageddonEnjoy. |
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| May 20 | Pass The Advil I was thinking a bit about what's going on in my life. Dig it: I work full time for a website which reviews games, doing a fair amount of writing there (a heavy week can be more than 10,000 words). I also work on the side a little for macHOME, a print mag. So there's a lot of writing there. In addition, I'm also trying to write a book and make a video game – both full time jobs in their own right. What else? I'm also trying to make some music this year... record it. I'm starting up with Akido this week as well. I sometimes like to kid myself and pretend that I might occasionally like to play a game of Warhammer. Last but certainly not least, I have two kids that need time with their dad and a partner I occasionally like to have sex with. I think it might be worth considering pulling back a bit on a few of these things, don't you? After doing this little inventory I'm beginning to figure out why it is I wake up every day feeling like I'm at the breaking point... |
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| May 19 | A Little Advice From Your Pal Corey If you're going to watch a movie called Ginger Snaps, make sure you aren't eating chicken wings at the same time like I am right now. I think I gotta go get a bucket. Uff... |
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| May 19 | Adrian On A Bike There's this guy in the town where I live named Adrian. I met him for the first time several years ago. There was a local event commemorating some lives lost in a fire and I read a little bit from the Bahá'í passages (I was asked to). Later, during the social part, Adrian approached me. He wore a suit and was very clean cut and had an easy, if dim-witted smile. He had Alfred E. Newman ears, a thinning hair line and a simian expression. Also, lots of freckles and a moustache. He spoke to me a little about being a Bahá'í, and then started in with the talk about whether or not I'd read the Bible. Now, I don't mind chatting about religion. In fact, I love chatting about religion because it's pretty darn interesting to me. What I don't like is that one-way road where the guy who's talking to me isn't doing a lot of listening. Wanna share some ideas? Hey, I love it. wanna tell me what you think? That's also fine. Wanna disagree? I have nothing to fear from that. If you wanna just tell me, without knowing me, that I'm on the wrong path and my soul is going to hell and blah blah blah then you're really wasting my time. I told Adrian this. He had some trouble getting it through his head, and continued. Eventually I gently, but firmly told him to step off. He gave me that kind, shoulder-shrugging "I tried" kind of response and then wandered off, smugly calm in the fact that he'd tried to save one of the damned who spurned his attempt but, in time, would see the error of his ways when he was spending an eternity in a wading pool of burning lava. I've seen the look too many times in my life not to recognize it. A few years have passed since then and I've seen Adrian several times... but in a very different circumstance. I never again saw him cleanly shaven in a pressed suit with a clean shirt and tie under it and a nice pair of shoes to top it all off. I have since seen Adrian riding his bike around town several times a week. It's not an adult's bike; this bike has a banana seat and I think it even has a bell. He wears T-Shirts that don't cover his belly and a face full of stubble and dirty sneakers. He has a walkman on at all times and his hair is styled in a positively criminal combover. Sometimes he walks around town with a little dog on a leash and maintains an uncomfortable gait as if there's a lot of underwear crammed up his butt and he's trying to walk it out. He has the demeanor of a homeless person that's kind of crazy to boot. he never seems to be going anywhere specific. He's just walking around aimlessly, all day, every day. Or biking on a bicycle meant for someone half his age or younger. I'm not telling you all of this to cement a "I'm Cool And He's A Loser" kind of message. You never really know what goes on in a person's mind or heart, so it's not fair for me to try and pretend that he sucks and I rock. I will say, however, that it strikes me every time I see him. It disturbs me even. Something about knowing there was someone this marginalized and peculiar behind that one time I saw him demonstrating a smooth personality and a clean-cut appearance... well, it gives me the jibblies. |
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| May 19 | Hamilton-ward, Ho! I'm back from Southern Ontario and a visit to my granparents'/aunt's/uncle's place for my Grandfather's 80th birthday party. It was quite a weekend and kind of informed the few weeks that just past and the week to come. The event was terrific. There were balloons and streamers and nice food that my grandpa enjoyed and a cake and presents and even some music. I think he was really happy. My brother was there, my mom, my uncle John, my uncle Pieter, my cousin Matthew, my aunt Beth, my aunt Joan my uncle Al, my aunt Carol... There was so much family it looked like a train station in Bangladesh. Many years ago my grandpa was in the Air Force, and worked on a plane called the Avro Arrow. Canadians will recognize the name instantly and be filled with a sense of reverence and awe to hear this. I don't know what my American friends know about the Arrow, but my guess is not all that much (I doubt the American history books cover this). Don't feel like explaning it here, but my brother and I are getting him a mahogany sculpture of one, and it looks darn spiffy if you ask me. On my way back from Hamilton two things happened which are worth mentioning. First, I stopped by my friend Mike's place. Mike is a master musician. He builds and tunes pianos (among other things... he's also a chiropractor) and, well, just does so many things right that it's hard to count. I stopped at his place and he showed me the recording studio he's making in his workshop. Mike is a unique person and being with him reminded me of the stuff about myself I sort of forgot. I intend to go down to visit some time and maybe help out a bit if I can, maybe even record with him. No matter – I just like being around the guy. The other thing I did was a quick trip down memory lane. Driving the 401 out of Guelph through Milton gave me an thought. See, I grew up in Milton. It's the one place I've lived longest. I lived out on a rural route (4th line is what it was called). Those were my high school years (the few of them there were). That was where I lived when I first fell in love. It's where I confronted all sorts of difficult family problems. It's where I decided to become a Bahá'í. It's where I lived when my step-father had a debilitating stroke. Most of all, it's where I arrived as a child and left as a young man. This is the part where some kind of music should play or something. I turned off of the 401 at James Snow parkway and took the five minute trip down 4th line and looked at the home I grew up in. The road that led to that house used to be nothing but trees and farm land. Now it's industrial parks and places where people buy trailers and RVs and some other stuff that was just too lame for words. My old pal's house, his name was Mike Cooley, was gone. Replaced by some place that sells tractors. Oddly enough, my old home was still there, nearly identical to how I remember it. There are three satellite dishes spread out on the roof (I did wonder who needs three), and there is some kind of weird porch built onto the side, but it's the same place. I didn't feel as if I could just stop in the driveway, get out and look around as there were obviously still plenty of people living there, but I did a little loop in front and drove off. I got enough chance to take a really good look. Yeah, it was extremely strange and yeah, I even felt a few things come to the surface that I didn't really anticipate. I drove off leaving the house behind me. Sure, that place is a cauldron of mixed emotions, complex memories, a long list of regrets and even some resentment, but what I have now is pretty good so it can stay in the past where it belongs. |
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| May 19 | Oh. My. God. Gamers: Run, don't walk to this link and watch some shakycam footage of Half Life 2 (thanks, Tuncer). |
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| May 19 | Isn't It Ironic, III It's ironic, isn't it, that the Warhammer 40,000 players are the ones that make me feel least like playing Warhammer 40,000? Oh yeah... the trip was great by the way. More on that later. |
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| April 16 | Changes, pt. II I should really redesign this page. |
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| April 16 | Do these guys ever stop rocking my world? Tool. I honestly can't see how someone could not like that band. Oh, sure, I rationally know that there are many different people in the world and that at least some of them are going to be incapable of enjoying Tool... but when I listen to Forty-Six and 2 or The Grudge I have a hard time imagining my world without it. Those two Real Audio files don't really give a great impression of what those fantastic songs really sound like, but you should just buy the CDs anyhow. |
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| April 16 | Good Blog, Bad Blog So here I am thinking of more things to write in this online diary (or "blog", if you will). The problem is that I don't want to transgress the boundaries of cool; I've been looking at a lot of other blogs on the web and I don't like what I see. "I had the tastiest dill pickle at lunch. Sometimes when I eat dill pickles, I think of my home town." "I hate Joe Millionaire. Who does he think he is?" "I spent a few minutes today walking around the house before I realized I'm wearing two different color socks. Can you believe it? TWO DIFFERENT COLORS!" Part of me says "Just write whatever. No one cares if it's cool or not". This is a good philosophy for me to takes because most of my writing on a day to day basis meets with a fair number of eyes and, in general, I think the respite from having to care about whether every sentence is jam packed with interesting information does me good. On the other hand, if I end up writing journal entries about Joe Millionaire, then my life is forfeit. I recently posted something about grilled cheese sandwiches and just today wrote about what color my bedroom is. I think I'm walking close to the line where the quality of my blog is concerned. I'll try harder in the future. In other news, if loving Wil Wheaon Dot Net is wrong, I don't wanna be right. |
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| April 16 | Bedroom My bedroom used to be a pale violet. Very fruity in that "pastel" kinda way. Now it's terra cotta/orange with leaf green trim. Big improvement. |
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| April 16 | It's so not right Yesterday it was too warm to wear a jacket outside. I thought "finally... my patience has paid off. After all the nasty weather it's once again spring. How glorious! How bountiful!" Today? Freezing rain. It is a world without poetry, I can tell you that right now. |
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| April 15 | Shadowbane I spoke a while back about Shadowbane, a game from Ubi Soft that I've been charged with the duty of reviewing. If you are a faithful reader of my site, you'll know that I don't like this game. Why? Because it's slapped together. It reminds me of how I used to make models when I was a kid; I'd get a model kit of a Star Wars X-Wing and I'd want to see the ship finished... so I'd get it together as quickly as possible. When I was done, it was definitely an X-Wing. It was clearly identifiable by the shape and configuration... but when you took any more than the most cursory look at my handiwork I could always see the pieces were misaligned, there was glue on the windshield, fingerprints all over and a complete lack of paint. My grandfather once chewed me out for taking so little pride in my work. I didn't understand what he meant at the time; it was an X-Wing... I got what I wanted. Later in life I realized that I could have gone a lot further, made all those little parts work together in a cohesive whole and gone the extra mile with careful paint and, above all else, patience (which in game development translates into thorough QA testing). Shadowbane is a playable MMORPG, but there are busted bits all over. Glue on the windshield, misaligned parts and what bothers me more is that the people who made it don't seem to care that much. They're doing what I did when I was a kid; it kinda looks like what it's supposed to be, so it must be done, right? Stay away from Shadowbane. Wait for Everquest. |
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| April 15 | The Grilled Cheese Sandwich I have to learn how to say "no" to the simple grilled cheese sandwich. It's all carbs and dairy, so it's not great for weight loss. Unfortunately, it's also the perfect food: Easy to make, takes little or no time, relatively inexpensive and tastes so good. See, I use a really nice bread – sunflower seed bread from the bakery, not that white styrofoam some people use. Then I add a sliced tomato and a handful of rosemary. I also have a George Foreman grill which makes it a little leaner but also makes it even easier to create. The problem is I have a God-given gift for making good grilled cheese sandwiches. |
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| April 12 | Roger Dodger I saw this movie called Roger Dodger not too long ago. In short, it's about a shallow ad copy writer who play-acts at being an intellectual in order to manipulate women into sleeping with him (with varying degrees of success). He gets a visit from his naive, sensitive 16-year-old nephew who humbly asks if his uncle would show him how to behave with women. As the uncle (Roger) takes him on a night of carousing and conquest-seeking, their value systems crash into one another and create situations which neither of them are comfortable in (here's a great photo). There are three things I've noticed about this movie which really caught my attention: 1. Campell Scott (Roger) does an absolutely amazing acting job. Very noteworthy. 2. This movie has one of the sexiest scenes I've ever seen in a movie. My heart totally stopped. It just goes to show that the suggestion of something with a hint of eroticism goes a lot further than something explicit. 3. Any movie that can make me think Elizabeth Berkley is a brilliant talent gets a vote in my book. |
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| April 12 |
Changes In other news, my life has been changing for the better. I have managed to get MacGamer under control. After a few years of trying to strike the right balance, MacGamer is now turning out regular content on a reliable schedule without me having to chain myself to my computer to make it happen. This, among other things, has made it possible for me to spend time doing things I love. I've been going out for long walks in sunshine and evening. I've been reading (right now it's Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card). I've been getting up early and making really good breakfasts for my kids. My life is getting a lot better. I feel as if the seeds I've been planting for years are starting to sprout. Everything is better. |
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| April 7 |
So I'm reviewing Shadowbane now. You want to know what I think of Shadowbane? I'll tell you what I think of Shadowbane. Shadowbane can *suck it*. More on this when my temper cools off. |
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| April 5 | Not too long ago I went on a brief tirade about snow. This may be eating my words, but I must say that snow in April – no less than two weeks after the official "first day of spring" – is an insult. After the T-Shirt weather we had a week or so ago, it's a big middle finger shoved right in my face. This is not the time of year when cars should be in ditches and freezing rain should be making a crust on the snow like sugar on the foam of a café latté. I'll be in a bad mood until it's gone. Expect no updates until then. | ||||
| April 3 | So today I went to the dentist. I haven't been to a dentist in eight years. I've also been drinking about a litre of Pepsi a day in the past eight years, so that's a bad thing. Pepsi + No dentist = Major teeth problems. Whaddaya know? I have no cavities. None. Not one. Zero. It's a testament to the fact that: 1) I am a very frequent brusher and 2) I am extremely lucky. I have tons of tartar though. I am going to have to go in (get this) *four more times* to get it cleaned out. It's all below the gum line, too (as I've brushed it all off from over the gum line). They're going to get some kind of device, pry it under my gums and watch me do a little dance with my ass right in the apholstered chair. It'll be worth it, though. Clean teeth are happy teeth. |
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| April 3 | My mom sends me stuff almost every day by email: Jokes, animated GIFs, Bluemountain greeting cards... but this thing she found on the net is the best so far. Thanks, Mom!: My sister-in law is from Oklahoma and has a slight accent. She has cats and when she lived in the south she would take them to the groomers and have what is called a Line Cut. To her a line cut is when all of the fur hanging down below the cat's tummy is taken off (because it gets matted or snarled). When she moved to Chicago with my brother, one of the cats fur got all tangled up during the move so she took it in for a line cut. She was quite surprised when she heard the price as it was twice as much as it was down south. She confirmed with the groomer that he understood what a line cut was and he said "yes, I know what a LION cut is." It seems her accent came out sounding like LION not LINE and this is how her cat was returned to her. She cried for a week . . . but not as much as the cat. It was November in Chicago and the cat needed all the fur it had. · Gas in car to go to groomers - $4.50 · Cat car carrier - $32.99 · Grooming fee - $80.00 · Getting the look from one seriously pissed off cat - Priceless! Here and here. |
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| April 2 | Anyone who knows me will know that I positively loathe Martha Stewart. From Hell's Heart I stab at her materialistic, milqtoaste approach to the world which encourages women to feel bad about themselves if they can't make a gorgeous table centerpiece out of a used diaper and two pipe cleaners. That being said, I heard from a friend who watches her religiously that she appeared on her show this April Fool's day in curlers and a robe, drinking a beer... a beer. She then proceded to go out into her garage and show everyone how to make a planter out of an old tire while she wore a head scarf. I don't like the woman, but I gotta respect her sense of self-depreciating humor. I'm still laughing at that. My buddy Chimwemwe pointed me at this site, which I found pretty funny as well. A successful April Fool's day for Corey, I must say. |
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| April 1 | Check out this thread, particularly the post from the sourass near the bottom of page 1. | ||||
| April 1 | The best part of my year is writing the April Fool's stories on MacGamer. It's like being a kid at Christmas as far as I'm concerned. | ||||
| Mar 30 | Losing weight is going to suck. I've done it before, though, so I suppose I can do it again. |
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| Mar 30 |
Today I decided it was time for lunch. I thought "grilled cheese sandwich". No, too much fat in the cheese, too many carbs in the bread. I thought "bowl of cereal". Again, carbs/fat. I thought "french fries". I don't think I have to explain what's wrong with that idea. I settled on a ya pear. Oh, and I also had another café latté, because it's made with skim milk and decaf coffee. Then I wept like a baby becuase I remembered that any day now, my favorite french fry truck is going to open for business less than a block away. |
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| Mar 30 | I'm not going to buy that Korg thing. Three reasons: 1. I don't happen to have the $550 laying around, unaccounted for. It's not a high price for what it is, but I still have bills to pay. 2. The storage is chinsy. I thought I could offload the storage onto my hard drive while recording but this isn't the case. This means I'm limited to a 128 MB memory card (which I have to buy), and anyone who knows what multitrack digital audio is like knows that's not much. 3. It feels flimsy and fragile. A digital device with this many features and such an eggshell-like structure is asking for trouble. It reminds me of those cheap walkmans you could buy in the 80's that were so poorly made they were practically biodegradeable. My quest to capture quality multitrack digital audio continues. |
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| Mar 29 | God help me, I might buy one of these. If anyone out there knows anything about it, write me. |
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| Mar 28 | I'm leaving a lot of my entries on the front page before moving them to my diary archive because I haven't written much lately and I want the recent flurry of activity to actually meet a few eyeballs before I retire it. | ||||
| Mar 28 |
I'm now drinking a lot of water. That's my first step towards losing weight. Why is that important? Because when I'm not drinking water I'm drinking Pepsi. Pepsi will rot my teeth out. Water won't. Pepsi will make me fat. Water won't. Pepsi dehydrates me. Water doesn't. I'm also going to get my teeth bleached. That's right. Bleached. |
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| Mar 27 | Today I saw the doctor. He's sending me to get my cholesterol tested. My blood pressure is fine. I'm also overweight by a stretch and need to get that taken care of. He's also sending me to get tested for ADD, so the results of that will be interesting, non? I'm also going through him to get tested for sleep disorders, as I suspect I may be suffering from some kind of sleep-related problem which makes it impossible for me to rest properly (which is demonstrated by the fact that I wake in the morning feeling as if I have been hit by an aluminum baseball bat repeatedly in the face after being shot with about forty tranquilizer darts). I also have this ongoing problem with pimple-like bumps on my body that I can't explain and, worse, can't cure. I'm going to go see a dermatologist about it. I also have an appointment with a dentist in a month. You might be wondering why, all the sudden, I'm taking my wreck of a fat ass to the doctor and chasing down all these little problems. I decided last year that I needed to get my finances in shape – which I did. I said to myself "Once I get my money situation together, I'm going to get my health and fitness together." So, that's what 2003 is about; getting myself as healthy as possible. More on this depressing subject later. |
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| Mar 27 | I now have 964 emails in my in-box. When I get to 1,000 (not including spam), I'll start answering them. By the way... does anyone know when Tool or Kate Bush is coming out with a new album? Write me and tell me if you do. |
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| Mar 27 | You want to know what makes me mad? Here's what makes me mad. I'm a decent writer. I'm not the best. I'm far from the best. I do know, however, that I don't have to be embarrassed about my writing. I write about games. I have written about so many games I can no longer count the articles. Well over a hundred. Possibly more. I wrote a hot-off-the-press article about an upcoming gem: Warcraft III's expansion pack, entitled "The Frozen Throne". My research was exhaustive. My time investment was substantial. Over 2500 words later, I've got a pithy, strong-backed scrapping article. I don't pretend to be an expert on much, but believe me; I know Warcraft III. As usual, I let other sites know that I've written this. This is done in hopes that they'll link to us and send some traffic our way. Inside Mac Games didn't link us, but they never link us so it's no great shocker there. I send it to Bluesnews, a popular online news site which concerns itself with games. They link us up with a tidy, concise description. That's all I ask. I send the news to Shacknews. They do not link us up. They never link us up. This is the part that makes me mad. It shouldn't, but it does. Here's why: Shacknews has a decent readership, but they link to some of the crapiest writing on the web (as well as the good stuff). The day after I informed them about my preview of Frozen Throne, they ran another link with the description "The latest site to do a preview of Warcraft III: The Frozen Throne". This article, folks, was the biggest collection of trailer-trash mixed/dangling modifiers, improper use of the apostrophe and logical meandering I have ever seen. The facts were poorly researched, lazily described and the entire thing was more boring than the final 30 minutes of a Saturday Night Live episode. Why don't they link to me? Because I use a Mac. It doesn't matter that The Frozen Throne works on Macs and PCs. It just matters that I work for a site called MacGamer. That's all. For years they've been stonewalling, despite exclusive interviews with Bungie, first-viewing screenshots from Abducted, every kind of op/ed piece in existence. How do I know it's a Mac thing? They don't link Inside Mac Games either when it's clear they've put a really good article right through the uprights. On the other hand, anyone out there with four teeth and a double-digit IQ can burn a copy of Windows 98se, bang off 400 words about a game and Shacknews will only be too happy to link to you. After all, it's not like ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE IS WRITING ANYTHING. |
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| Mar 27 | Chimwemwe. Chimwemwe came over to visit. Chimwemwe is my best friend. If you don't know my whole best friend hierarchy, I'll explain it to you. There's Aaron. Drummer, father, professional, SUV driver, fitted wool coat wearer. I consider him to be my best friend. There's Brett, also known as Loo. Business owner, athlete, father, guitarist, Kevin Bacon lookalike. I consider him to be my best friend, too. Then there's Chimwemwe. Percussionist, actor, all-around ragamuffin. I consider him also to be my best friend. Anyhow, Chimwemwe came over which was great because I haven't seen him in months and I've missed him. The kids just adore Chimwemwe. We did manage to make a fair amount of music together in Reason, which turned out really nice. I could set these up by saying "Oh, they're just rough" blah blah blah, but I'll just link you up to the music and you can decide for yourself. (p.s. These are just rough) Chimwemwe and Corey: Strings Chimwemwe and Corey: Heavy beat Chimwemwe and Corey: Chi Will there be more? I don't know. With Chimwemwe I never know. He comes out of the mist, fills my heart up and then disappears without a trace for months at a time. Will there be more? I don't know. |
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| Mar 27 | Last night I was interviewed on an internet radio program called The Gamesome Mac. You can hear it here, and if you want to skip the not-so-entertaining parts to my section, it's roughly half way. I don't think it's the best interview I've ever done (the best interview I've ever done was on gamers.com, and they went and removed that). I was joined by Maccentral journalist Peter Cohen as well, whom I am quite fond of. I liked his answers better than I liked mine. I did get the opportunity to take a serious carve at Rod Stewart during the program, so it wasn't a complete waste. Interestingly enough, I was actually offered the job of being the host of Gamesome Mac back when it was starting up, but turned it down. It seemed to be that making a radio progam, two hours in length, once a week that could remain interesting was an impossible task. Looks like I was right. |
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| Mar 27 | Iraq. How does one formulate or voice an opinion? There are always people lying in wait, waiting for you to say just one single, decisive word on the issue so that they can spring from the shadows and tell you why you're wrong – morally, intellectually and politically. Here's what I think: I don't know enough to make an intelligent comment. In fact, I doubt anyone does. There's so much double-talk, triple-talk, propaganda, PR, spin doctoring and re-wording that I don't know if anyone will ever truly know what's going on right now in Iraq. We can be sure that people are dying, suffering and hurting. We can be sure that children are going to be orphaned, that homes will be destroyed and that people who might have had a very beautiful future will no longer be with us. All I know is that this shouldn't be happening, and someone is responsible. I don't know if I'll ever really understand who that person is, but they should be very afraid for their own soul right now. |
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| Mar 27 | Haven't written much lately, as you can tell. I've been sick, I've been busy and, mostly, I haven't felt like it. I actually have a lot The first thing I have to say is that I really must fix my leather jacket. It's got one busted button (looks like a half moon now) and one of the button holes is tearing. It sure pays off when you buy quality, doesn't it? A lot of people have been carving on Michael Moore lately. One of these people is by buddy Peter Cohen, and I sort of came back at him with a sharp, mean answer in his forums, for which I'm sort of embarrassed (and I apologized to Peter for it). I do happen to have a few thoughts about Mr. Moore and what's going on with him right now that I'd like to address. When I was a kid, "Parent Groups" were busy trying to find hidden messages in rock music that would subliminally send satanic messages to the listener without them realizing it. The idea is that these messages were recorded backwards and masked what-have-you. I read an editorial back then which, even at that age, really resonated with me, and the main thrust of it was: Why are you searching for satanism, debotchery and decadence in this music as if it's hidden? It's all right there in plain view. When I think about those who, for some reason or another, have "Shocking evidence" that Michael Moore isn't an impartial film-maker, I get the same kind of reaction: That's supposed to be some kind of secret? Moore doesn't have to be "outed" as a biased film maker, as he has bias dripping from every one of his jiggling chins. Just watch Bowling For Columbine; Anyone will be able to see clearly that he's very certain of where it's all going to go before he starts rolling the first frame of film. Suddenly a few half-baked writers want to scream "The Emporer Has No Clothes", as if someone's going to put a little gold star on the fridge for them, despite the fact that there doesn't seem to be any more supporting evidence for these Ghostbusters than they're accusing Moore of. None of the baloney that goes into de-bunking Moore strikes me as particulary interesting or even as good journalism. Here's what really important... Bowling For Columbine brings up some very important issues, and these are issues that people need to be looking at now, today and up-close if there's going to be any kind of change in society. There's an unusual obsession with guns in the USA. Did Moore make that up? Definitely not. There's fear, confusion and disillusionment over the massacres that happened in Columbine High School. Did Moore make that up? No, he did not. Dick Clark is an ass. Did Moore make that up? No, we all knew that already. Moore may have scrambled the pieces and fudged a bunch of facts, but there's still one hell of a lot to learn from seeing his film – if for no other reason than stimulating you to form your own opinion on the subject, born of your own ability to process the information in your own brain. That alone makes Bowling for Columbine a service to the public; it gets people thinking. My question to you is this: Is the obsession with making Moore out to be a charlatan and fake going to distract you from the things that Bowling For Columbine has to teach you about, the things it makes you think about or the important discussions you will now have on the subject as a result? Here's some advice: Forget about Moore. Despite the fact that he resembles a great white whale, you're better off not to make him your Moby Dick. Bowling for Columbine got a lot of people thinking in a new way about fear and violence in the USA. David T. Hardy has only served to distract people from that and made Michael Moore into the lastest supermarket tabloid face. I don't consider that to be a service to the public. |
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| Mar 17 | I'm sick and I've been writing non-stop for about 36 hours. I don't feel like writing more here just now. | ||||
| Mar 15 | I'm working on stuff with Lulio right now for MacGamer that will probably contribute to it not sucking. That's very encouraging for me. I think the next couple weeks will be good MacGamer weeks. | ||||
| Mar 15 | Digging into some of my dance music, thinking about the DJ job I'm going to be on for in about two months. I was just marvelling at how much *damn* funky music there is in the world. I got this remix of Hey Ladies by the Beastie Boys from Peter Cohen that just rocks me so hard I can barely stand it. Just before that I was listening to I Wish by Stevie Wonder that just blew my hair back (Dru Hill like the little beeyatch he is ripped off the melody of I Wish for that whimpass tune Wil Smith did for Wild Wild West). Lastly, take a listen to Jungle Boogie by Kool and the gang sometime (check the Pulp Fiction soundtrack if you don't know where to find it). These are three songs that are just so funky it's not even possible. | ||||
| Mar 15 | Still doing a lot of music, but mainly guitar at this point... which is really hard for me to get into MP3 format, so you'll just have to take my word for it. | ||||
| Mar 15 | It has occurred to me that after writing the article for MacHOME about Blogs and how to make Blogs that someone might find their way here after reading it. In my bio I said "Corey Tamas is the editor in chief of MacGamer.com (true), a game developer (stretching the truth, but true), a professional musician (well, I used to be), the father of two young girls (also true) and a heartily enthusiastic blogger to boot." Someone could conceivably type "Corey Tamas" into Google and find me here and then read all this crap I've been writing. I'm trying to decide if I have a problem with that or not. |
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| Mar 15 | Bloodrayne is not a good game. It's got a sexy half-vampire chick kicking Nazis in the junk and all the goth imagery a teen with issues could ever want, but that doesn't make it a good game. It's got 3D this that and the other with fog and water and blah blah blah. It's still not a good game. There are knives, decapitations, mutilations, blood-sucking, orgasmic moans of pleasure as the victims get drained of their life blood, and don't forget lots and lots of zombies... but it's not a good game. This, combined with Spy Hunter, might signify the end of Aspyr's undefeated winning streak of superextraspecialgood games. I like Aspyr a lot, but when it comes to Bloodrayne, I have only this to say: It's not a good game. |
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| Mar 13 | While waiting for the authentication server to return, I spell-checked my diaries. I know I said I wasn't going to do that, but it needed to be done. Took a while, too. Did you know, by the way that "Celsius" is spelled with two "S"es? I didn't. | ||||
| Mar 13 | I got onto the Warcraft III: Frozen Throne beta-testing roster. Pretty awesome. I've had the stuff I needed to do it for a while, but only tonight did I manage to find some time to try it out. Downloaded it (after trying several mirrors). Fired it up. Downloaded a 60 MB update. Restarted it. Downloaded another update. Crashed my machine completely. Started again. Downloaded that update again. Worked this time. Downloaded yet another update. Finally, I get into Battle.net (I have to make an all-new account), into a channel, meet my buddy Gabe, we go online and I start playing. No sooner have I finished my first Ancient of War than I lose my internet connection. Turns out Magma.ca has scheduled maintenance for their server between 1 and 3 AM today and the authentication server is down until they finish. For what might be 1.5 more hours I'm just going to sit here staring at the Frozen Throne options menu. Man, is Gabe going to be mad. Anyway, here's my latest desktop. |
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| Mar 12 | I've cleaned up the pile of Pepsi bottles and cardboard boxes. I've put all the CDs into cases and got them back up on the shelf (that took way more time than you'd think). All loose items which are readily identifiable as trash have been put into the garbage receptacle. It is my belief that I have about two more days of focused cleaning before my office is actually up to the standard of "basically clean". Be assured that I will keep you abreast of every development. | ||||
| Mar 12 | I have decided that "Crap" is not a bad word. Neither is "Suck" or "Sucks" (i.e. "Suck it" or "That sucks"). | ||||
| Mar 12 | OK, so I've been trying to make a dent in my unliveably filthy office. I got into that nasty pile of cardboard boxes, Pepsi bottles and other crap. Once I got under it I actually found some leaves. You heard me. Leaves. I'll have to do more of the cleaning tomorrow. The thing with the leaves really broke my spirit. |
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| Mar 11 | I have to write a 350 word article on Force Feedback, but I so don't feel like it. I still like Tool. |
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| Mar 11 | My office is a pig sty. There is actually a pile – yes, a bona fide *pile* – of cardboard boxes, empty Pepsi bottles and plastic bags behind me and to my right. To my left I have two book bags, a synthesizer keyboard, several papers and a pad of construction paper on the floor. To the desk on my left is a teetering stack of CD jewel cases and some more empty boxes and empty envelopes. I'm seeing at least two empty coffee cups on my desk and I don't even want to turn around and look to see what's behind me. My cell phone is off the base, my DVD collection is leaning for to the side, and I have actually slung my jacket over my guitar stand and the guitar which is held thereupon. There's some cellophane shrinkwrap, long divorced from the product it once guarded, loose on the desk to my left. The rest of my office is littered with coins and loose CDs. There are also dust bunnies. Perhaps the thing which makes me loathe myself even more is that my new Godin guitar is kept off the ground by laying it upon the pile of boxes and empty Pepsi bottles. I'd guess the guitar is about three and a half feet long and weighs about ten pounds, but it's kept completely off the linoleum by my detrius. I should do something about it. |
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| Mar 11 | I've decided to stop swearing in my web diary. Too many of the people who read this wouldn't understand why, so I'm not going to bother trying to explain. For those who are a fan of sailor talk, I'll leave the archives where they are. I really do mean that thing I said about Christina Aguilera, though. |
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| Mar 10 | What a great few days. On Saturday night I did the sound and music for what was a flawless performance of The Vagina Monologues... and it was incredibly inspiring. Then I DJ'ed the dance which followed, playing only music by half-naked colored people wearing huge afros... and it was such a hit. Earth Wind and Fire, Wild Cherry, Funkadelic, Hot Chocolate... very funky/sexy music that made everyone dance until they couldn't walk. It was fantastic. I love the women who did this show from a very deep place in my heart. I really do. I wanted to make them dance all night to celebrate the fantastic job they'd done. It was like my gift to them... and dance, they did. I have disconnected The Keeper of Error from Westwind Pictures. I hope I'm doing the right thing because I really love those people. Today Dora turned 3. She had a "Movie Party" where all her little friends came over and got tickets. Then, they used the tickets to get drinks and popcorn, and to enter the living room where I'd set up a few rows of chairs facing the TV. Dora's first present was a new videotape, and they all watched it together... slurping away on their pink lemonade. I dressed like an usher: Black baseball cap, white shirt and tie. I am now asking myself "What the hell kind of usher dresses like THAT?" By the way... I'm getting sick of this online diary. I don't know for how much longer I intend to keep doing it. |
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| Mar 7 | I am sick of Christina Aguilera's fucking face. Put aside for the moment the times when that walking pig is wearing her hair like Dee Snyder; put aside those times when she put aside the times when she's wearing bikini shorts so tiny you can see her ass... from the front. It's not just the trailer-park trash, heroin-junky "Insert Cocaine Here For Sex" posturing. It's this: When I look at her, I don't feel like I'm looking at a pretty woman. Alas, no; what I feel when I look at Christina Aguilera's face is that someone is trying to manipulate me, and I find it an insult. I feel like someone is ringing a bell and giving me an expectant look, waiting for me to salivate. The problem is her face, her pose, her attitude make me feel like someone is trying to pick my pocket. I feel like a hooker on the street is making a mirthless, listless offer of a "date" as I pass by because she's scratching her arm with the DT's. It's utterly lacking in passion, eroticism or anything provocative. I will admit that there are several female celebrities that I find attractive and even sexy. I'm only human after all; a pretty woman can get my attention. That being said, Christina goes to a place I just don't find appealing. |
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| Mar 6 | I have three, count 'em, three articles due for MacHOME tomorrow, and I'm writing like a crazed mofo. I have an entire site to run at MacGamer.com and all the fawn-eyed troops there are looking up at me and saying "What now, papa Corey?" Then there's Keeper... which is fraught with questions and once the development really gets rolling will absorb every bit of free time I have. Add to that the fact I want to make a CD this year of my own music. I wonder which of these things is going to make me jump off a bridge first. |
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| Mar 6 | I check Versiontracker.com every day because it's a good way to stay on top of new software releases. They do a great job over there. The thing is, I just saw a link for a piece of software called "eLoan 1.1.2 - Banking loan simulator". Could I possibly think of one single program I would like to use less? I don't know if it's some kind of game or some kind of utility which helps you figure out whether you are able to acquire or pay back a loan, I must say that, for today at least, Warcraft III needn't be worried about being deleted to make space. Why not just make a piece of software called "Sim Dishwashing" or "iLaundry". How about "Student Loan Arena"? Woo... my heart can barely take it. Oh yeah. It's also in French. |
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| Mar 4 | This is what my desktop looks like. | ||||
| Mar 3 | This made my whole day. Here's an email from my friend Jon: Subject: Girl, You Have **Got** To Be Kidding Me With This <snap, snap, snap> You are such a fag. Your hyperlinks in your web site diary are deplorable. There was a link to a photo of your plump bottom. That was actually quite amusing. I have saved a copy of it, just in case you ever run for public office. Next, I clicked on a link and was delivered promptly to a photo of Céline Dion, giving the two-thumbs-up. Now *that* is something I was most definitely *not* trying to see. And on Yum-yum-iha too. Shame on you. Jonny On the other hand, Jonny actually *is* a fag, and I'm not sure what I think it says about me when even my fag friends call me a fag. Damn, yo. |
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| Mar 3 | I refuse to spellcheck these pages and entries. I just do. My ego can't handle facing the fact that my spelling is rotten. The main misconception people have about the Bahá'í fast is that it's some kind of torture. As I mentioned before, we fast from sunup to sundown for 19 days. That's no water, no nothing. We get up before dawn, eat, then stick it out for roughly 12 hours, praying or meditating a little to get us through it. A lot of people say "Oh, I could never do it". Sure you could. There's nothing to it. Unless you have some kind of medical condition which makes it impossible, I'm sure you could handle it. You get a little headache, maybe your stomach growls a bit and you might get a bit lunk-headed by late afternoon. Not really a big deal. See, the thing is that sometimes you gotta have an external demonstration of what's going on inside of you. I believe the life of the spirit is more important than the life of the body. A little headache is not too much to pay for keeping that relationship in its proper perspective. As for music, I'm starting to realize I'm in deeper than I thought. Basically I need the audio interface. It's about $299. Then I need some kind of outboard or software guitar effects/speaker emulator. The Pod will cost about $350, Amplitube will cost about $399. Then I'll need Protools. Who knows how much that is going to fucking cost me. This is turning out to be a lot more expensive than I was counting on. |
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| Mar 2 | Fuck off. Seriously. I'm in no mood right now. | ||||
| Mar 2 | Man, did I ever do a lot since the last time I wrote in this diary. Get comfortable; this will be a long one. Well CBC had a call-in show on Friday about sex. The idea was "Sex in the mainstream", i.e. how sex and sexual topics are now really in your face with literature, magazines, movies, etc. The question was "What do you think of sex going mainstream?" There was a certified sex counsellor (man, am I glad they didn't call her a "sex-pert") named Sue McGarvey on the show. She did her usual thing talking about orgasms, vibrators, the usual stuff. I called in and (to make this extremely brief) said "I think that education about sex is good and the removal of fear is good and as long as it's in a healthy context I say 'Go For It'. As far as sex in the media is concerned, though, I think of it the same way I think about peanut M&Ms. I love peanut M&Ms. They rock my world. I can't believe anything on earth can taste so good. If I had them all day, every day, however, I would never enjoy them. Having so much of that treat I love would make me sick of it. Therefore, when I get sex in my face 24/7 I really feel like I want a break – not because I'm a prude, but because I don't want that nice thing ruined by being made sick of it". I'm not sure to what extent I got my point across but, hey... I was on the radio and stuff. Ayyam-i-ha is over (note: Ayyam-i-ha is the celebration that Bahá'ís have at the end of February where we give gifts and have family times and do fun things for four days. Great for the kids). Today was the last day. The Bahá'í fast started tonight at sunset (note: The Bahá'í fast is the time immediately following Ayyam-i-ha when we fast, i.e. no food, from sunup to sundown for 19 days. It's a period of prayer and meditation). I'm going to write a lot of music during the fast this year, as I usually find great inspiration during that time. I think I may actually finish some songs. Wow. That'd be novel. I went to my cousin's 15 year birthday party tonight and gave him my Gameboy as a gift. On the way home I screamed along with Lateralus, The Grudge and 46 and Two by Tool. I think I seriously hurt myself because my throat feels like someone shoved steel wool down there. The party was for my cousin and his step-dad (who was turning 40). It was at a hotel in Arnprior and, holy shit... I forgot how much it hurts my eyes to see white people dance. It made me wish I had a gun. Oh yeah! I forgot (I keep coming back and adding stuff)... my buddy Shawn stayed over last night. This morning we were just clockin'... but my youngest daughter Dora is sick with a cold, so I spent most of my time cuddling her because she just yanks my heart strings when she's not feeling well. I also got a Quakeworld server going on my desktop machine where all my friends (but not me) played Quake all day. I'll join in next time. Anyhow, I'm trying to set up a Quake 3 dedicated server but no-one, and I mean no-one will help me figure out how to do it or help me work out the kinks. You all suck. Seriously. You can't even help me out to set up a Quake server that YOU can have RCON for and run up my bandwidth with complete disregard for how much it costs me. That's how good I am to you, and yet when I ask for help to set the server up you suddenly all have to wash your hair or clean out the garage or something. Honestly... what do I have to do for you people? What? Do I have to drive to your house and actually carry you to the computer chair and open a terminal? If it wasn't for Steve that Quakeworld server wouldn't even be running. You all need to kiss my ass. I'm not even kidding. And I mean all of it. Even the fat part. More playing guitar, less synth. At least for the next few days. |
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| Mar 1 | This is all I have for you tonight: I have begun writing a song on the guitar. I don't have the hardware to get the guitar into the Mac properly, so I just used the totally shitty built-in mic and a cheapass program called Audio In to record from my amp. This song has a name, but I'm not going to tell it to you yet. It has lyrics, but I'm not going to post them tonight. All you get is this totally ghetto, shitty, volume-too-low-because-the-kids-are-sleeping recording (also, you can only barely hear the fucking chords)... but believe it or not I think this is the beginning of something that might actually work out. Other than that, I just have way too much on my mind tonight, but I'm not going to write about that. |
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| Feb 27 | What a day this has turned out to be. Got lots done, mind you, thanks to my faithful web ninja. Then I had a conversation that's going to keep my head spinning for days to come and leaves me wondering about... sheesh... a whole lot of stuff. No, you can't hear about it, but trust me. It was a good one. Read this instead. |
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| Feb 26 | Remember that piece of crap I posted earlier today called "Burgertown"? It turns out Freeverse is going to use it for an upcoming game called Burning Monkey Solitaire III. Maybe I should write an ending for it, huh? | ||||
| Feb 26 | New music from me. Also, I think I'll soon be settling in for some *real* composition on Reason. I know I keep saying that, but this time I mean it. Really. | ||||
| Feb 25 | China Cola is the most perfect beverage ever made. I'm not the only person who thinks so. Check out the ingredients: Filtered Carbonated Water, Raw Cane Sugar, Szechuan Peony Root, Cassia Bark, Malaysian Vanilla, Oils of Lemon, Lime and Orange, Nutmeg, Cloves, Licorice, Cardamon, Caramel Color, Citric and Phosphoric Acid, Cherry China Cola also has natural cherry flavor. After all, when is the last time you rose up and got your Szechuan Peony Root on? Damn, yo. |
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| Feb 25 | Aaron just described my perfect day: However, my idea of a perfect day would be to walk around the office and give peoples feet a good gasoline soaking, light a match and watch the hilarity ensue. Then, while they writhe around on the ground, I'd like to hire a bunch of disgruntled male nurses, have them dress up like school girls, walk around the office and beat my hot footed co-workers with rubber hoses. After that, I might need to pee. |
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| Feb 25 | Despite my earlier rant where I was berating the pantywaists whose bladders turn to jello when they see the white stuff falling from the sky, I must say that winter does bring to me a certain degree of aggravation. It's not the shovelling of the snow (though I do hate that), it's not the digging out of my car (though I also hate that), and it's not the wearing of six layers of clothes just to stay warm (and I loathe that). It's the bait and switch that happens around this time of year. You see, Mother Nature plays this mean trick where it gets really nice for a few days. Snow melts, the sun shines, the birds chirp, and I walk to the local post office to collect my daily mail clad only in dockers, a nice cotton shirt and a light leather coat. That's heaven to me. Forty-eight hours later, however, I'm up to my tits in snow, and the old switcheroo has been pulled on me once more. That's the part that breaks my spirit. It's so close, yet so far. In other news, I need to stop eating peanut M&Ms. I'm not even kidding. |
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| Feb 24 | "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." Matt Groening |
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| Feb 23 | I did this. Still working on finding my way in Reason 2. My kid, Ruth, did this. It's an attempt at perspective. How many five-year-olds do you know who draw in perspective and also draw fruit? Not too fucking many. That's right. By the way... Winter can suck it. |
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| Feb 22 | Well, I ended up doing a whole lot more last night than writing music, but I did come up with this. | ||||
| Feb 21 | Tonight I'm just going to write music. That's it. Alright. I may also play Warcraft III a bit. |
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| Feb 21 | So I played some of my new compositions for a few friends. One guy says "I hate everything except the bass line". The next guy says "Throw out everything except the bass line; it's the only good part". One guy calls Sangrha "spiritual" while the other guy calls it "porn music". One guy says "This is a good first try. Keep writing." The other guy says "Looking forward to hearing where you go with this." People are fucked. They really are. |
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| Feb 21 | I need to undergo some kind of change. I'm feeling some flab in pretty much every area of my life these days. My body certainly isn't nearly as toned or strong as it should be. Note that I am not saying "As I would like", I am saying "as it should be", i.e. it's not about looking good; it's about the fact that I'm going to have back pain until the day I die, and that day will likely be when I'm about 45 from heart disease. That's what I mean. It's more than the body, though. I'm flabby in the mind and spirit. Just as I can't really control my body because it's so out of shape, I can't control my mind of spirit, either. My mind is littered with junk; I can barely control what I say. My emotions are all over the place and I'm finding myself afraid of some things that I'd actually conquered in myself a dozen years ago or more. My thoughts are random and undisciplined. Time to tone up soon. Prayer, meditation, exercise, diet. I think I have to really get serious about how I live because I only get one crack at this. |
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| Feb 21 | I'm actually on the bus back to the Nation's Capital right now. I'm listening to Tool's twin songs Parabol and Parabola on my laptop as I poke this diary entry out. The snowy white Canadian landscape with the trees and the birds and all that crap Meetings in Toronto were good though, as usual, a little strange. Whenever I deal with my friends at Westwind Pictures there's always sort of a mix of "We can do it" with "We can't do it". The truth is that they are in a difficult position with knowing what, exactly, to do with me: They want to do a good video game that isn't just another useless lump of jetsam on in the ocean of useless video games. Both myself and the folks at Westwind who call the shots are members of the Bahá'í Faith, so there's a complementarity of purpose in the way we want to do things (it was because of that complementarity that I sought them out in the first place). I'm definitely the only gamer among them and so a lot of their suggestions about how we should develop this game are gay as hell, but the underlying notion that the game needs to be worth something more than just more meaningless filler resounds mightily. Clark and Mary are film-makers and story-tellers so they approach plot development from that angle rather than from the way it works in gaming where the experience *is* the story. I wonder if that'll become a problem as we try to hammer this out. I had to face a pretty hard bit of bitter medicine when I showed them about 10,000 words of story for Keeper (never mind the additional material I'd written regarding the development team, financial breakdown, concept art, etc) Clark gave it a good look and said "We'll have to start from scratch again". Now, I didn't exactly curl up into a ball and weep, as it had only taken me a couple days to churn it out, but it was a little jarring. It had to happen, though: 1) I'm not a creative writer, so I was expecting the cold hatchet of aggressive edits anyhow, 2) The development of the player as a hero needed some serious surgery (I won't bore you with the details), 3) We're in desperate need of a script writer, and I'm not one. Here's what I wonder, though: In saying these things do I really see the merit in them, or am I trying to convince myself in order to take the path of least resistance? It's so hard to tell the difference between the itching feeling from your intuition that tells you something different needs to happen and the ego having difficultly letting go of full ownership so that something better can happen through collective thought. I want to say that my intuition is telling me that something in this process isn't right, but I can't be certain; my ego has really, and I mean really fucked things up for me before and when it does fuck those things up it usually starts like this. Sorry the diary entries haven't been funnier lately. |
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| Feb 18 | Off to Toronto tomorrow. Meetings upon meetings. I doubt I'll get online after 11 AM EST. I seriously need some massage therapy or something. The cracks in the armor are starting to widen. Oh, by the way... meet The Keeper Of Error: Pic 1, Pic 2, Pic 3, Pic 4, Pic 5. |
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| Feb 18 | I have to turn out about 10,000 words before I sleep tonight. Looks like I'll be hitting the caffeine round sundown. | ||||
| Feb 18 | Okay, I know it's snowing a lot south of the border right now, but I have this to say: Those of you who are moaning and bitching about shovelling or driving conditions need to shut the fuck up. As long as your community has an infrastructure with which to handle a lot of snow (i.e. snow plows) and no one is in any actual danger of freezing to death, it would do all you whiners well to shut your cake holes. Yes, it's a lot of snow and, yeah... I'd agree it's really neat and even challenging. Those of you who are planning to tell Paul Bunyon stories about yourselves to your grandchildren in years to come just because you had to shovel the driveway twice in a twenty-four hour period really need to zip it. I've left my home several mornings in my life to see a pile of snow on my car that is more than twice its actual height. Between the months of November and March I always tack twenty minutes onto my morning schedule to accommodate the fact I have to dig my station wagon out of snow and ice with my bare fucking hands, a soft hairbrush and a garden trowel. I don't consider myself to be unusually hearty or outdoorsy. Like everyone else, I just do what I need to do in order to get along in my life. Removing snow from my sidewalk isn't an act of heroism – it's called "going outside when there's snow and not being a big fucking baby about it". So yeah, there's a lot of snow and I feel sorry for you all who have to do things like miss a couple days of work or actually put on a coat and move some of the white stuff off of your car so you can go buy pizza pockets and Dr. Pepper, but get some perspective, will you? |
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| Feb 17 | "The Keeper of Error is an adventure story about cause and effect; action and consequence; decision and reckoning. The tale begins as a mystical figure comes to the player in his dreams, explaining that a great mistake has occurred in human history; one that has kinked the flow of evolution so severely that a catastrophic unravelling of civilization may be at hand. This dream visitor, the "Keeper Of Error", instructs the player to travel to strange lands and seek knowledge from temples, tomes and seers. Soon, however, the player discovers a complex lattice of interlocking events and betrayals in which he comes to play the pivotal role. The story culminates when the Keeper reveals that it falls upon the player's shoulders to right the greatest wrong of all time." For a while I thought I didn't have any more work to do, and a major business trip had been averted. How wrong could I be? I have a business meeting on Wednesday night in Toronto where I have to present my workflow documents and other design papers for my upcoming game, Keeper of Error. I also have to keep MacGamer afloat while I'm gone. This is going to be an interesting juggling act; don't expect to see many diary updates until Friday, as I expect to be tearing my hair out in bloody clumps between now and then. |
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| Feb 16 | This isn't exactly hot off the presses, but if you are a geek who is trying to figure out the advantages of OS X, this thing called The Power Of X is seriously a must-view little presentation. | ||||
| Feb 16 | Having one of those afternoons of ennui. So many of my friends live far away... Aaron, Brett, Chimwemwe, Peter... I wouldn't mind occasionally being able to just get together with all my favorite people without having to spend a thousand dollars on plane fare and take a week off work. | ||||
| Feb 15 | First of all, it's really cold here. It's about -22. I understand this is Canada, but holy fuck. This is the kind of cold that makes me want to set fire to something just so I can get some warmth, like maybe some furniture or some cushions. The cat is also flammable and, believe me, I'm thinking about it. Maybe I'll start with some of the Ikea furniture in my office. Oddly enough, I sometimes get the urge to set fire to it even in the warmer months. I have a part in an upcoming presentation of The Vagina Monologues in my home town of Almonte. There's a lot about the presentation that I neither understand or fully appreciate, but I am involved nonetheless. I'm doing a very short monologue on an real-life incident that happened when I was in grade nine and I was trying to decide if I wanted to kick some guy's ass because we both liked the same girl, even though the guy was a basically nice guy and stuff. There's some desire for the voice of men expressing how they relate to violence to be part of this theatrical presentation about... uh... vaginas. It all sounds a bit Libby Wolfson to me, but okay; I'll do it. I'm also DJ'ing a dance that will happen afterwards. I'm having difficulty finding music that really focuses on the vagina, but I'm working on it. I went swimming with the kids today. I don't really like swimming that much; I'm not a good swimmer and I am not particularly comfortable with my weight, so I don't like putting on a bathing suit. The kids love swimming, though, so it was a good idea and I mostly stayed in the heated pool that's supposed to be for old folks. Did anyone who listened to those two compositions I linked earlier notice that I have a fixation on the sus2 chord? To me, the sus2 chord says "I am looking at the sky earnestly and re-evaluating my relationship to my life. Also, I am in Berlin". Did I mention how cold it is? |
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| Feb 15 | Here's another one. This is another cheesy knockoff like the first one, but I'm trying to make sure I learn something new every time I sit down. Maybe I'll do a few more of these and then I'll start trying to do the real thing. You know... something with chord changes and stuff. | ||||
| Feb 14 | One hour in front of Reason gave me this. It's not much, but it's a step forward... | ||||
| Feb 14 | Valentine's Day. Whatever. No, I haven't done dick-all on Keeper of Error since I last wrote. I did a superhuman job of writing this review of Freedom Force today. Yes, I wrote a review of Freedom Force before for MacHOME... but this review was for MacGamer. The difference? MacHOME was 350 words. MacGamer was 1700. Took me about 90 minutes to write because I needed it at the last minute. I am a review-writing stud. It's three o'clock and I haven't made my kids lunch yet. I'm a bad father... but that's no surprise to anyone. I suppose I should start actually doing music sometime soon instead of just talking about it, huh? |
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| Feb 12 | Well I just got a HUGE amount of work done. I'm not out of the woods yet, but I can honestly say that the real scary work is behind me. I've managed to get some really good stuff going with MacGamer this week, I've gotten four reviews finished for MacHOME and I've done some very substantial banking and checkbook balancing (something I hate doing). Speaking of MacGamer, the new version of Apple's browser, Safari, came out and *boom*, the site just looks better now. What the fuck? Are they using the "De-assing" plug-in now? Now I have to sit down and finish all the design docs and workflow docs for that game I'm working on. Imagine writing the phone book out one number at a time. It'll be like that, but less exciting. I'm not on such a tight deadline for that, though, so I'm not too worried. A few folks have asked about "The Game" that I talk about a bit here. The game is a single player adventure game called The Keeper of Error. It's based on a short story by B.K. Filson, and is currently just getting under way. It borrows slightly from Joseph Conrad's Heart Of Darkness (Gen X readers might know the movie, better, Apocalypse Now). Gamers might liken it to RealMYST, only it's considerably darker and more interaction with non-player characters. We're currently using Garage Games' Torque engine for the core technologies and are working under the auspices of Westwind Pictures in Toronto (they're best known for their TV shows). The game will have violence and death, but no combat. It should be out summer 2004. Not real sure yet as a lot of details aren't nailed down. I'm also supposed to be writing a book with this guy. No, really. |
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| Feb 12 | I linked my mom to Coreytamas.com and, in the end, everything's OK. Mom got on ICQ this morning and sent me a message saying "Hi Corey - yup I am on line - so how the F... are you? :)". My mom currently lives in Haifa, Israel. Israel is a country where every citizen has mental problems. I'm not sure if it's because of their traffic signs that people are insane, or if it's because they're insane that their traffic signs are the way they are. |
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| Feb 11 | I can't decide if I should show this site to my mom or not. I'd like to, as she's always interested in and supportive of everything I do and she'd get news about my life and stuff by checking in from time to time. The problem, as you can probably surmise, is that I'm just not comfortable with letting her see how much I say "fuck". All you tough guys out there are probably having a good laugh, but I'm old fashioned and believe you have to show your parents as much respect as you can muster. Now, not everything I choose to do would meet with her approval, sure, and she knows that and even respects it... but what I don't agree with is rubbing her nose in it. I mean, it's not that she doesn't know these words exist, but it's a respect thing. Know what I'm saying? Once in a while I'm around someone who just totally mouths off in front of their mom and it makes me feel like doing something drastic. On the other hand, if I don't show her, I feel like I'm hiding something, which is totally not what I'm about at all. Tell me what you think. I'm trying to make a decision here. Here's a little folk song: "We sit down to have a chat. It's f-word this and f-word that. I can't control how you young people talk to one another but I don't want to hear you use that f-word with your mother." |
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| Feb 11 |
Today my daughter (who is five) picked up my boxed copy of the game Alice and looked at it. I normally keep the really freaky games out of reach of the kids; I don't play them in front of them and I don't let them see the box art. Some of that stuff in Alice and a lot of games in general is pretty intense and, at five years old, you don't need to see a person taking a rocket in the face and turning into hamburger. The only reason she got ahold of it is because I was clearing some stuff off a high shelf and temporarily dropped it on my desk while trying to find it a new home. She looks at it and, being the curious kind that she is, starts asking about every single screenshot on the box. "What's this? What's he doing? What's she doing?" What's happening?" I give very short answers and ask her to put the box back on my desk, as it's a little too violent for her and I don't think it's a good idea to look at it just now. She's pretty open to the straight truth about why it is she can't play certain games or see certain things. As she's putting the box back on the desk she says... "Boy. She sure has a whole lot of blood on her clothes." (pause) "And a whole lot on her knife, too". Great. Just fucking terrific. Let me know where I can pick up my "Dad Of The Year" award. |
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| Feb 11 |
A quick note about Microsoft Word. A lot of people use it and from time to time someone tries to argue its merits to me. I have to use it occasionally and when I do it never fails to make me see red. It's one of the worst pieces of software I've ever seen. At this point I believe that MS Word is to Word Processors as Rectal Thermometers are to dining implements. That can be said about much of Microsoft's software, I must say. The lot of it can blow me. |
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| Feb 11 | I never thought I'd say this, but... MacHOME paid me. After reviewing Icewind Dale, Lineage: The Blood Pledge, Wipeout 2097, Warcraft III: Reign of Chaos and Undying they finally came across with the pay that's been outstanding since last August. No, I know you don't give a shit, but you're going to sit right there and listen while I tell this story. Got it? I have worked with seven different editors at MacHOME Some of whom were drooling morons who wanted to foist the blame for their incompetence off on others; some of whom were taskmasters to whom no writing could possibly be considered good enough; some had style guides and templates as far as the eye could see; others still wanted me to be "witty" and have "attitude" and be "hip" or "cool". The guy who is currently my editor at MacHOME is probably the easiest for me to work with so far. We'll see how that goes. One thing about MacHOME is that they spell their name several ways. Once upon a time it was "Machome Journal", and that was easy to understand. Now it's "macHOME", which makes no sense to me (I'm going to capitalize the first letter of this proper name regardless of what their style guides say). I am now waiting for the next iteration, which should read as "OMG M@CH0M3Z0®" Anyhow, about the money... I got the royal runaround for a really long time and finally gave up. It was Peter Cohen of Maccentral who encouraged me to go back again, telling me that (in his estimation) they were good people and just needed some patience. I called up the editor that Peter recommended to call (who has since left... he was #6 by the way), and he went after my cash as well as offering me some new assignments (Timbuktu Pro, Virtual PC, NASCAR 2002 and Freedom Force). I will use the money to buy donuts. I'm sorely in need of some. |
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| Feb 11 | "There is some kiss we want with our whole lives. The touch of Spirit on the body. Sea water begs the pearl to break its shell. And the lily, how passionately it needs some wild darling. At night, I open the window and ask the moon to come and press its face against mine. Breathe into me. Close the language door and open the love window. The moon won't use the door, only the window." - Jalaluddin Rumi Feb 10 Pardon me while I go on a great big geek trip here for a minute: I got my dedicated IP and high speed internet set up. My desktop Mac will be a dedicated Quake server and KDX server. My laptop will be my workhorse. I'll install Timbuktu Pro so they can both talk to each other. This is going to be perfect. I just have to shoehorn my ass out of this chair and walk over there and set it up. I may get to that by tomorrow. Or the next day, I guess. OK... maybe the weekend. Green tea is my salvation. I've decided that I will no longer eat after 7 PM every night, except for the consumption of decaf green tea. I'm going to start cutting a lot of corners in my diet so that, hopefully in time, I will be eating what I like and what I need but not a lot of extra that's wasted as it goes in my mouth without me even stopping to think about it. I've worked pretty hard to drop my weight... I don't want it back now that I'm getting to be a decent size again. It's a good thing I really like green tea. This is one of those nights where I feel neither entertaining, interesting nor funny. I'll stop writing here, I think. |
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| Feb 10 | And people say there's no more poetry in the world. |
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| Feb 10 | By the way... I forgot to mention that a week and a few days ago I went to the Empire Grill with Kelly. She had a salad (chicks always have salad... why is that?). It looked good. I had Tandoori Chicken on a roll. It sounds good, sure, but there was a considerable amount of avocado. This became a problem because the bread was rock hard. Every time I bit down the avocado acted like some kind of freaky lubricant and the chicken would shoot this way or that. I think I fired one of those bad boys right down my top. This is why I have a rule about eating sandwiches around people I'd rather not look like a klutz in front of. She didn't actually watch me that closely so I managed to wipe tandoori chicken off myself a few times. Thank God I wore the red shirt. I think I had some of the avocado in my stubble at that point but, hey... I gotta be me. The part that makes me laugh is Kelly recently apologized to me for saying the word "fuck". Those who know me personally will find that ironic. Just to keep the joke going... this. |
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| Feb 9 | So last night I had Jesse Harris and Alexander Profiet over for the night, two 13-15 year old boys who love playing computer games. Don't worry, it's not what you think... I just think they're good guys and they played Diablo II, Starcraft and Freedom Force on my Macintoshes all night. They were up to 4:30 playing Diablo II... I turned in around 1:00. They ate nachos, ice cream, brownies coffee, pizza, Pepsi... and free LAN action. What's not to like? I got one more review to do for tonight and then I'm good for the time being. I'm going to go see a foreign film this afternoon. In other news, Strong Bad is still awesome. I'm running out of interesting shit to say, and this is starting to look like just a regular old Blog just like I promised myself I'd never write. So... uh... here. |
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| Feb 7 | I've moved the diary archives to here, so if you want to see some of the older stuff then that's where you'll find it. I've only really been updating this for about two days and already I have a full page of archives. I seriously don't know what's wrong with me. Tonight I saw The Recruit with Shawn and, you know what? It didn't blow as much as I thought it would. In fact, I might recommend it. You can see ALL the plot elements coming from a mile off and it's completely lacking in ninjas, but whatever. I have these really nice neighbors, but I can actually hear the guy snoring through the wall at night. I mean, through the wall he is actually rattling my fucking fillings out. At least I *think* it's the guy. The wife is pretty butch, so it might be her. Seriously, though; what the hell am I supposed to do about that? I've been seriously, and I mean SERIOUSLY stressed out this week with work and stuff. There's a lot more detail I could go into, but it'd bore you to death. I did write something on Squiiish about my work ethic and dedication thereto. Vedder got GtkRadiant to compile. This is like a dream come true for me... I can now make Quake maps on my Macintosh. The thing is, I don't know if I can understand what's involved well enough to accomplish it. I'm fine with Radiant. No problems there. It's X11 I can't fucking figure out yet. We'll see how it goes. I'll do some reading or something. |
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| Feb 7 | Today I have to finish two reviews for print, a whole bunch of writing for MacGamer, a design/workflow doc for that game I'm working on and go do some banking. I'm also supposed to have fun today because normal people have fun on Fridays, am I wrong? Well that's a lot to do, let me tell you. Have you ever seen those blogs that have the little "How am I feeling?" thing and the emoticon face to go with it? You know the ones that say "Today I am feeling: Perky" or "Confused" or "Vulnerable" or "Frisky"? Mine would say "Today I am feeling: Stressed To The Point Of Homicidal". I'm currently searching for the appropriate icon. It will likely include a picture of your mom. | ||||
| Feb 6 |
(a conversation I had on AIM today) carter: can I ask you what normally happens when you contact an ISP because of warez and issues on the forums me: Normally the response is surprisingly open, so long as my approach is non-threatening and professional carter: OK, I just had a guy respond to my sticky about no warez post that said f*** you stupid admin carter: and I think it was the guy I was having issues with a while ago me: I just say, "Hey, look. You should know that (user) has been doing (whatever: With URLs to examples) and I've removed his privs to the board and banned him. I'm contacting you to let you know that if it persists I'll be forced to ban your IP range, so you might want to speak with him yourself before he's responsible for the service being denied to your other clients" me: If you have good, solid supporting evidence and you quote your traffic to them, they usually keep an open mind me: Be nice, though. Always be nice. carter: oh of course carter: it's not thier fault me: A lot of people forget that part. :) carter: sadly that's true me: If it's an illegal activity (such as warez) then they're usually all too happy to jump in and give the user a reprimand. me: If it's just being an asshat then they're a bit slower to do so. me: Remember, the one customer using their ISP to promote illegal distribution of software could cost them their other customers, so... it's something they'll be interested in. carter: I think I'm gonna take screens of the post, and IP and keep them, and keep a few list of them before I send anything else me: Yeah. The more dates, times, IPs and direct quotes you can provide, the better. me: It also helps if you refer to the guy in question as "Fucktard". I find that makes people pay stricter attention. me: And make sure you say it over and over again me: "That fucking fucktard fuckwit dumbass fuck kept fucking posting his fucking warez like a fucktard fucking loser. FUCK YOU, FUCKER!!!!" me: That never fails. carter: proven fact eh? me: You betcha. |
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| Feb 6 | Today was my best friend Aaron's birthday. I didn't do much for him other than leave a voice message saying that I thought he was aces and I'd treat him to a big, fat dinner next time I'm down in Toronto (where he lives). Of course, he never does jack shit for me on my birthdays, so the guilt factor is somewhat low. Guys are like that. "Dude. Meant to do something for you on your birthday" ... "Hey, thanks. Seeya". That's about all it takes. I met Aaron in 1984, so we're actually coming up on a full 19 years as friends. There aren't many people in my life who I've known for that long (Hi, Kelly) so it's kind of a head-trip to witness what kind of adult Aaron has turned into (a pretty darn good one). Still not sure what kind of adult I am yet. I'll let you know when I find out. Aaron's one remarkable human being. Everyone who has him in their life (including me) is really damn lucky. In other news I've started ramping up the technological aspect of this site. You can't tell just by looking, but I'm now using server-side includes as part of its construction. If I were to tell you any more about it you'd fall over from boredom, so I'll resist the urge. My buddy Vedder got GtkRadiant working in X11 today. If you know what that is then you don't need me to tell you why I'm about ready to dirty my diaper over it. If he can actually get it to compile you can forget about talking to me for the next eight weeks, I promise you that. I should sort of archive these diary entries but I don't know how to do that yet and it seems like a king sized hassle so I think I'll just not worry about it for the moment. |
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| Feb 5 | If you're looking for something I haven't written up anywhere else yet, then let me tell you this: A can of Diet Coke froze in my car and exploded. I spent the morning scraping frozen Diet Coke foam off my rear view mirror, the doors, the dash, the ceiling, out of the tape deck, the wheel wells, etc. etc. Keep in mind I had to do this while it was -15 degrees Celsius, and I couldn't turn on the heat or it'd all melt and become a permanent part of my car. From what I could see the explosion was very forceful; if someone had been in the car at the time they would have had to go to the hospital. I'm not even kidding. |
